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This is absolutely awful, or doesn't apply. Especially in the context of communicating with a cynical userbase, but in many other contexts as well. It does no

This is absolutely awful, or doesn't apply. Especially in the context of communicating with a cynical userbase, but in many other contexts as well. It does not mention the ONE thing that makes an apology worth anything. The ONE thing you have to include is evidence of a positive action you have taken that will actually prevent this from happening again. Not some kind of 'promise.' For example, here is an Obama non-apology for the NSA spying on Americans (illustrative example, not a quote): "I am dismayed, as all of you are, at what I've recently learned of data collection of innocent Americans by a government agency. It was done under my watch, and I take responsibility. I promise you, the people who overstepped their boundaries will be removed from their positions and punished. Anyone who's suffered personally as a result of these violations will have freedom of information act possibilities to learn how their information was misused. They can petition the courts for redress, in line with our Constitution. Finally, I want you to know that I have let you all down. I can only ask for your forgiveness." That pretty much follows steps 1-5. It's also absolutely useless. here is a good apology: it can repeat any of the language above, for fluff. The main point is this "this morning I signed an executive order ordering the sealing, for 150 years, of all innocent American's personal information that has been collected. The sealing is to be done by means of military-grade encryption. The keys will be held in the supreme court of the United States, by its chief justice John G. Roberts, Jr. Every morning between he will come in half an hour early and sign off on warrants requesting any decryption, only upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the records to be decrypted, and the persons or things to be seized." That's "funny", but it's 10000000x better than the apology above. The only way to apologize is to list a step you've actually taken to actually prevent it happening again. Fuck promises.

kazagistar 13y ago
I think this is talking about what actually works on most people, not how to make your apology truly sincere. The sort of apology you listed is the sort of thing people eat up by and large, even if it is ineffective on some.
- logicallee 13y ago
  So, it depends. When you have a credibility issue the former doesn't mean much. People are more and more cynical and feel (rightfully) that apologies are just PR text, and feel (rightfully) that the person making it basically sent a PR agent a query "hey I'm getting some flak for ___ - could you draft an apology for me", and htat's it. On the other hand, when someone you have a real relationship with is sorry for something, sometimes just the guilt in their eyes and the fact that you can see they know they fucked up is enough - no words necessary. Between the two extremes, sure, you might have enough credibility for fluff and vague promises to be acceptable. But that stuff really is useless.
jonnathanson 13y ago
"The only way to apologize is to list a step you've actually taken to actually prevent it happening again." Sometimes you need to issue an apology before you have time to take any concrete action. In fact, in crisis management, time till expected response is often more critical than noodling on precisely what must be done. You're in a triage situation, and the first thing you need to do is stop the bleeding. This is why "promises" get made, because they're the first step in figuring out a genuine series of restitutive actions. Often the first thing people want to hear -- and need to hear -- is a simple acceptance of responsibility. The acceptance should be followed by a legitimate demonstration of understanding: of the damages caused, of the seriousness of the issue, etc. This is followed by a pledge to investigate, or to take serious actions. Now here's the important part (to your point): 9 out of 10 apologies just leave it at that. There's no follow-through or followup. This is why people have been desensitized to the standard-issue apology as detailed in this article. They're used to seeing boilerplate and empty promises, but the devil is in the details. Listing a concrete action taken is a great way to go, but sometimes you don't have time to take such action (or fully consider the ramifications) before the apology needs to be issued. In summary: 1) take serious stock of the issue ASAP, 2) state sincere apology demonstrating accountability for the fuckup and responsibility for the fix, 3) maintain communication as fixes are implemented, and detail them.
- deleted 13y ago
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kazagistar 13y ago

I think this is talking about what actually works on most people, not how to make your apology truly sincere. The sort of apology you listed is the sort of thing people eat up by and large, even if it is ineffective on some.

logicallee 13y ago
So, it depends. When you have a credibility issue the former doesn't mean much. People are more and more cynical and feel (rightfully) that apologies are just PR text, and feel (rightfully) that the person making it basically sent a PR agent a query "hey I'm getting some flak for ___ - could you draft an apology for me", and htat's it. On the other hand, when someone you have a real relationship with is sorry for something, sometimes just the guilt in their eyes and the fact that you can see they know they fucked up is enough - no words necessary. Between the two extremes, sure, you might have enough credibility for fluff and vague promises to be acceptable. But that stuff really is useless.

jonnathanson 13y ago

"The only way to apologize is to list a step you've actually taken to actually prevent it happening again." Sometimes you need to issue an apology before you have time to take any concrete action. In fact, in crisis management, time till expected response is often more critical than noodling on precisely what must be done. You're in a triage situation, and the first thing you need to do is stop the bleeding. This is why "promises" get made, because they're the first step in figuring out a genuine series of restitutive actions. Often the first thing people want to hear -- and need to hear -- is a simple acceptance of responsibility. The acceptance should be followed by a legitimate demonstration of understanding: of the damages caused, of the seriousness of the issue, etc. This is followed by a pledge to investigate, or to take serious actions. Now here's the important part (to your point): 9 out of 10 apologies just leave it at that. There's no follow-through or followup. This is why people have been desensitized to the standard-issue apology as detailed in this article. They're used to seeing boilerplate and empty promises, but the devil is in the details. Listing a concrete action taken is a great way to go, but sometimes you don't have time to take such action (or fully consider the ramifications) before the apology needs to be issued. In summary: 1) take serious stock of the issue ASAP, 2) state sincere apology demonstrating accountability for the fuckup and responsibility for the fix, 3) maintain communication as fixes are implemented, and detail them.

deleted 13y ago
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