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This attitude--which I more often than not share with you--suffers strongly of confirmation bias and a lack of empathy. You, we, tend to believe that the priori

This attitude--which I more often than not share with you--suffers strongly of confirmation bias and a lack of empathy. You, we, tend to believe that the priorities we've chosen are better than those of everyone else, and are obviously so. Pursuing knowledge, technology, wealth, is of course a higher aim than raising a family. It's obvious, right? But it's not. They choose "to follow the culture of the community" because the culture is important to them. Because, perhaps, success, to them is made up of different things than it is for us.

ambiate 13y ago
I can really appreciate this opinion of my comment. It is truly genuine and a great analysis! There is much more truth to your words than I would like to admit in other facets of my life. Their priority is indeed far from mine. Many times, I find it hard to empathize and easier to just point the finger at the obvious choices they have made. Yet, there is a community type punishment and resentment for people who fall into these traps of life. Prioritize reproduction over stability. OK! Community rules: 1) Don't come to 'us' for handouts. 2) Don't get on welfare/medicaid because you dug yourself into a hole. 3) Don't fall into the great apathy device of drugs to help you forget. If you break the rules, you will be shamed and feel guilty. The glorious church folk at the Southern Baptist Church in Oak Grove began the silent treatment on my family due to my great grandmother utilizing the meals on wheels services in the area. Poorness is not acceptable, in some of the poorest communities of the US. It is absolutely glorious. There is just so much more than I could hope to explain in a comment. The racism, classism, politics, and circular ideologies that are passed down in those areas is a novel on its own. You are correct. I pity their choice, and often feel my choices are superior. Yet, more often than not, they also pity their choices, and envy my choices.
- narrowingorbits 13y ago
  And I guess that's the important dichotomy here. There are many, many choices that people can make in life that are qualitatively neutral. For instance, the decision of those female Ph.D.s to value marriage over a career utilizing their education. It saddens you, because it does not mesh with your priorities, and so it seems like a bad choice. But qualitatively, it's just a difference of taste and preference. But there are certainly choices that are qualitatively worse. Such as building, or letting yourself be dragged down by communities that destroy you with shame, racism, classism, politics, etc. Or, as you pointed out, the choice to ignore the imperative to create a foundation for one's family, to have some way to provide, if family is your priority. Because that is actually a failure of their own priorities as well. We've just got to not muddle those types of choices too much. Our preferences vs. other's preferences vs. truly damaging choices.
axus 13y ago
The people he left behind may be happy and successful on their own terms, but they are not "socially mobile". It seems that social mobility depends on the culture of the area more than the cost of living.
- narrowingorbits 13y ago
  Sure, but I guess a question, then, is whether "social mobility" is the highest end in and of itself.

ambiate 13y ago

I can really appreciate this opinion of my comment. It is truly genuine and a great analysis! There is much more truth to your words than I would like to admit in other facets of my life. Their priority is indeed far from mine. Many times, I find it hard to empathize and easier to just point the finger at the obvious choices they have made. Yet, there is a community type punishment and resentment for people who fall into these traps of life. Prioritize reproduction over stability. OK! Community rules: 1) Don't come to 'us' for handouts. 2) Don't get on welfare/medicaid because you dug yourself into a hole. 3) Don't fall into the great apathy device of drugs to help you forget. If you break the rules, you will be shamed and feel guilty. The glorious church folk at the Southern Baptist Church in Oak Grove began the silent treatment on my family due to my great grandmother utilizing the meals on wheels services in the area. Poorness is not acceptable, in some of the poorest communities of the US. It is absolutely glorious. There is just so much more than I could hope to explain in a comment. The racism, classism, politics, and circular ideologies that are passed down in those areas is a novel on its own. You are correct. I pity their choice, and often feel my choices are superior. Yet, more often than not, they also pity their choices, and envy my choices.

narrowingorbits 13y ago
And I guess that's the important dichotomy here. There are many, many choices that people can make in life that are qualitatively neutral. For instance, the decision of those female Ph.D.s to value marriage over a career utilizing their education. It saddens you, because it does not mesh with your priorities, and so it seems like a bad choice. But qualitatively, it's just a difference of taste and preference. But there are certainly choices that are qualitatively worse. Such as building, or letting yourself be dragged down by communities that destroy you with shame, racism, classism, politics, etc. Or, as you pointed out, the choice to ignore the imperative to create a foundation for one's family, to have some way to provide, if family is your priority. Because that is actually a failure of their own priorities as well. We've just got to not muddle those types of choices too much. Our preferences vs. other's preferences vs. truly damaging choices.

axus 13y ago

The people he left behind may be happy and successful on their own terms, but they are not "socially mobile". It seems that social mobility depends on the culture of the area more than the cost of living.

narrowingorbits 13y ago
Sure, but I guess a question, then, is whether "social mobility" is the highest end in and of itself.