4 ms·

I just wanted to point out that this is a UK family, talking to the UK press - so their attitudes (IMHO) may not be being interpreted correctly in 'American'.

by mdda 13y ago

I just wanted to point out that this is a UK family, talking to the UK press - so their attitudes (IMHO) may not be being interpreted correctly in 'American'. (I'm from the UK, but have lived in NYC for over a decade). I strongly doubt they're pressuring their child to be normal : Eccentricity and 'being interesting' are cherished qualities in the UK. I'm guessing that what they're saying is that they're making sure he has 'space' so that when he wants to do ordinary stuff, and that there's no-one whispering in his ear that he needn't be interesting in playing football (soccer) because he's a genius with a higher calling. Also, maybe the art thing is just a childhood phase, and that's Ok by them too. From what I see from the people around me in my office, attitudes to children (and their education, aspirations, etc) are very different US vs UK.

andrewcooke 13y ago
yeah, this seemed quite a decent approach from the family to me (english). the idea that they're not being supportive of their kid seems way off the mark. they're just trying to find the right balance, as far as i can see. i wonder how bad we are at interpreting nuance in american media? maybe honey boo boo isn't a parenting guide?
GhotiFish 13y ago
There are people who are viewing these parents negatively? That has got to be luckiest boy on the planet.
- mdda 13y ago
  The top comment at the moment (by tokenadult) expresses the hope that the story misquotes the parents when they say "The most important thing is that he can relate to his peers and not be seen as any different." My guess is that is exactly what they said, and they didn't mean that they'd do anything that discouraged their child at all. It's just a case of cross-cultural mis-communication going on. Another case in point : I'd say that his paintings are 'pretty good' (which is high praise in the UK), whereas in the US 'genius' gets handed out far too easily (to my ears).
- arjie 13y ago
  At the point when I make this comment, there are quite a few others remarking negatively about the parents' desire for the child to "relate to his peers and not be seen as different". While a charitable (and likely accurate) view of this is that they wish him to just have healthy relationships with his peers, many here seem to view the statement as indicative of a desire to hammer out any individual creativity in the hope of creating a child who is average in every way.
  - arethuza 13y ago
    "many here seem to view the statement as indicative of a desire to hammer out any individual creativity in the hope of creating a child who is average in every way" Cross cultural miscommunication at work - to me (and I'm from the UK) it sounds like the parents were handling a tricky situation pretty well.
jamesaguilar 13y ago
I also think it's marvelous that they've engaged solicitors to handle his affairs. It is good that there is an impartial party whose primary professional interest is in the wellbeing of their son. So many parents lose their way in situations like this by confusing their goals with their children's goals, and having a third party in the children's corner is a great way to control for that.
- Daniel_Newby 13y ago
  It is also mercenary: establishing a trust fund in the child's name shields the money from liability claims against the parents.
  - rrreese 13y ago
    Could you expand on this please, especially detailing the liability that the child is likely to face under UK laws?
    - Daniel_Newby 13y ago
      If the money is placed in an account jointly owned by the parents, a successful legal claim against the parents can be forcibly taken from the account. For example, a slip-and-fall lawsuit involving the front porch of the family home. When a lot of money is involved, the steps can become surprisingly slippery.
adam-a 13y ago
As another brit, I want to echo this. I suspect the treatment by his peers would be different in the US then in the UK. Not so much the talent part, but definitely the wealth aspect - in my experience a kid who was ostensibly much more wealthy at school than the others would likely be a target for bullies and find it easy to become an outcast. I think it stems from jealousy, but also a relic of old class divides. Wealthy people, especially in less well off areas, are not usually admired for their hard work, but sneered at for their (assumed) inheritance or abuse of the system.

by mdda 13y ago

andrewcooke 13y ago

yeah, this seemed quite a decent approach from the family to me (english). the idea that they're not being supportive of their kid seems way off the mark. they're just trying to find the right balance, as far as i can see. i wonder how bad we are at interpreting nuance in american media? maybe honey boo boo isn't a parenting guide?

GhotiFish 13y ago

There are people who are viewing these parents negatively? That has got to be luckiest boy on the planet.

mdda 13y ago
The top comment at the moment (by tokenadult) expresses the hope that the story misquotes the parents when they say "The most important thing is that he can relate to his peers and not be seen as any different." My guess is that is exactly what they said, and they didn't mean that they'd do anything that discouraged their child at all. It's just a case of cross-cultural mis-communication going on. Another case in point : I'd say that his paintings are 'pretty good' (which is high praise in the UK), whereas in the US 'genius' gets handed out far too easily (to my ears).
arjie 13y ago
At the point when I make this comment, there are quite a few others remarking negatively about the parents' desire for the child to "relate to his peers and not be seen as different". While a charitable (and likely accurate) view of this is that they wish him to just have healthy relationships with his peers, many here seem to view the statement as indicative of a desire to hammer out any individual creativity in the hope of creating a child who is average in every way.
- arethuza 13y ago
  "many here seem to view the statement as indicative of a desire to hammer out any individual creativity in the hope of creating a child who is average in every way" Cross cultural miscommunication at work - to me (and I'm from the UK) it sounds like the parents were handling a tricky situation pretty well.

jamesaguilar 13y ago

I also think it's marvelous that they've engaged solicitors to handle his affairs. It is good that there is an impartial party whose primary professional interest is in the wellbeing of their son. So many parents lose their way in situations like this by confusing their goals with their children's goals, and having a third party in the children's corner is a great way to control for that.

Daniel_Newby 13y ago
It is also mercenary: establishing a trust fund in the child's name shields the money from liability claims against the parents.
- rrreese 13y ago
  Could you expand on this please, especially detailing the liability that the child is likely to face under UK laws?
  - Daniel_Newby 13y ago
    If the money is placed in an account jointly owned by the parents, a successful legal claim against the parents can be forcibly taken from the account. For example, a slip-and-fall lawsuit involving the front porch of the family home. When a lot of money is involved, the steps can become surprisingly slippery.

adam-a 13y ago

As another brit, I want to echo this. I suspect the treatment by his peers would be different in the US then in the UK. Not so much the talent part, but definitely the wealth aspect - in my experience a kid who was ostensibly much more wealthy at school than the others would likely be a target for bullies and find it easy to become an outcast. I think it stems from jealousy, but also a relic of old class divides. Wealthy people, especially in less well off areas, are not usually admired for their hard work, but sneered at for their (assumed) inheritance or abuse of the system.