I think what he's saying (and I tend to agree) is that you can't develop the technical side in isolation from the actual design. Design is much more than appear

I think what he's saying (and I tend to agree) is that you can't develop the technical side in isolation from the actual design. Design is much more than appearance -- it determines how your site works, how parts interact, and can very often give immense direction to the backend. I agree with your idea (#3) but only as the reverse -- imagine a website of "ideas" and mockups waiting for people to implement them. I believe great apps start with design, not with a backend. (Of course you can write them in either order -- the point is to have considered and drafted a design before starting on the backend).