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Because we're in control of our emotions and our reactions. We are not entirely in control of the laws of physics. Ergo, physical abuse is not even remotely i

by throwit1979 13y ago

Because we're in control of our emotions and our reactions. We are not entirely in control of the laws of physics. Ergo, physical abuse is not even remotely in the same category as verbal "abuse".

anon1385 13y ago
On behalf of the kids you bullied at school I would like to say the following: fuck you.
- throwit1979 13y ago
  Well, that's a constructive comment. The strange irony of what you said is that it was exactly the intense bullying I received as a computer nerd in grade school that helped lead to the understanding that I am in full control of how others "make me feel".
  - icebraining 13y ago
    If you think that's intense bullying, you should be glad.
    - throwit1979 13y ago
      Another strange response, seeing as how I never even specified anything about my bullying experiences, other than their effects.
      - icebraining 13y ago
        Right, I misread your post. My mistake, sorry.
  - obstacle1 13y ago
    It's probable that you had stronger psychological fortitude in the first place than many people. Not everyone comes to the feel-control realization on their own, some require intense relearning (therapy, counselling, etc.) to figure it out. Many people never make the connection.
    - ceejayoz 13y ago
      It's also possible that one person's "intense bullying" is another's "gee, I wish my bullying was that low-grade".
      - talmand 13y ago
        Oh, in that case bullying is ok as long as enough people agree that it's low-grade? It's also possible that one person's "low-grade bullying" is another's "gee, I'm glad my bullying is not that bad".
        ceejayoz 13y ago
        Not at all. I'm simply pointing out that without details on the bullying, it's entirely possible that @throwit1979 has little or no experience with the sort of viciousness that causes psychological problems for those verbally abused, resulting in the seemingly ignorant opinion that everyone has the power to fully control their emotions and behaviour.
  - EliRivers 13y ago
    Sounds like the intense bullying you suffered damaged you. You think of this as a good thing; many others would not.
ceejayoz 13y ago
> Because we're in control of our emotions and our reactions. Again, bullshit. People with severe OCD, bipolar, schizophrenia, etc. can clearly have little or no control of their emotions and reactions. Abused children deprived of social interaction can lack the ability to even develop language. For example, http://www.tampabay.com/specials/2008/reports/danielle/ http://www.tampabay.com/specials/2008/reports/danielle/
crygin 13y ago
Your emotions are a physical process occurring in your brain, and you are not in control of them any more than you are in control of whether or not a bruise forms after you are struck.
parasubvert 13y ago
I like how you put "abuse" in quotes like that. Verbal abuse is recognized as a phenomenon in medicine, religion, and in law. It is not at the same level of unacceptable civilized behavior as physical violence, but it is still unacceptable nevertheless, and can carry severe consequences, quite rightly. Many people are actually not deeply self-aware or in control of their emotions or reactions. This often is due to the environment they grew up in, their age/maturity, and can be overcome. It also may be due to illness that requires treatment. Some are victims of abuse, that hurts their career, enjoyment of life, etc. Yet abusers themselves are often the most egregiously acting without self awareness or emotional control, as they are often lashing out what they're feeling without restraint or contextual nuance, attempting to inflict pain on others. Yet other people also are deeply self aware or in control of their emotions but due to community or societal norms are subject to systematic verbal abuse. Sexual harassment, threats against geeks/nerds, racial discrimination are all examples. There's often only so much any well-adjusted person can take. You seem to be confident that words should not be able to inflict pain. Yet it's clear from history that they do.

Because we're in control of our emotions and our reactions. We are not entirely in control of the laws of physics. Ergo, physical abuse is not even remotely in the same category as verbal "abuse".

anon1385 13y ago

On behalf of the kids you bullied at school I would like to say the following: fuck you.

throwit1979 13y ago
Well, that's a constructive comment. The strange irony of what you said is that it was exactly the intense bullying I received as a computer nerd in grade school that helped lead to the understanding that I am in full control of how others "make me feel".
- icebraining 13y ago
  If you think that's intense bullying, you should be glad.
  - throwit1979 13y ago
    Another strange response, seeing as how I never even specified anything about my bullying experiences, other than their effects.
    - icebraining 13y ago
      Right, I misread your post. My mistake, sorry.
- obstacle1 13y ago
  It's probable that you had stronger psychological fortitude in the first place than many people. Not everyone comes to the feel-control realization on their own, some require intense relearning (therapy, counselling, etc.) to figure it out. Many people never make the connection.
  - ceejayoz 13y ago
    It's also possible that one person's "intense bullying" is another's "gee, I wish my bullying was that low-grade".
    - talmand 13y ago
      Oh, in that case bullying is ok as long as enough people agree that it's low-grade? It's also possible that one person's "low-grade bullying" is another's "gee, I'm glad my bullying is not that bad".
      - ceejayoz 13y ago
        Not at all. I'm simply pointing out that without details on the bullying, it's entirely possible that @throwit1979 has little or no experience with the sort of viciousness that causes psychological problems for those verbally abused, resulting in the seemingly ignorant opinion that everyone has the power to fully control their emotions and behaviour.
- EliRivers 13y ago
  Sounds like the intense bullying you suffered damaged you. You think of this as a good thing; many others would not.

ceejayoz 13y ago

> Because we're in control of our emotions and our reactions. Again, bullshit. People with severe OCD, bipolar, schizophrenia, etc. can clearly have little or no control of their emotions and reactions. Abused children deprived of social interaction can lack the ability to even develop language. For example, http://www.tampabay.com/specials/2008/reports/danielle/ http://www.tampabay.com/specials/2008/reports/danielle/

crygin 13y ago

Your emotions are a physical process occurring in your brain, and you are not in control of them any more than you are in control of whether or not a bruise forms after you are struck.

parasubvert 13y ago

I like how you put "abuse" in quotes like that. Verbal abuse is recognized as a phenomenon in medicine, religion, and in law. It is not at the same level of unacceptable civilized behavior as physical violence, but it is still unacceptable nevertheless, and can carry severe consequences, quite rightly. Many people are actually not deeply self-aware or in control of their emotions or reactions. This often is due to the environment they grew up in, their age/maturity, and can be overcome. It also may be due to illness that requires treatment. Some are victims of abuse, that hurts their career, enjoyment of life, etc. Yet abusers themselves are often the most egregiously acting without self awareness or emotional control, as they are often lashing out what they're feeling without restraint or contextual nuance, attempting to inflict pain on others. Yet other people also are deeply self aware or in control of their emotions but due to community or societal norms are subject to systematic verbal abuse. Sexual harassment, threats against geeks/nerds, racial discrimination are all examples. There's often only so much any well-adjusted person can take. You seem to be confident that words should not be able to inflict pain. Yet it's clear from history that they do.