Having experienced abusive behavior in the past, I feel strongly about neither engaging in nor tolerating it. But when I read Linus' rants, I don't get the feel

Having experienced abusive behavior in the past, I feel strongly about neither engaging in nor tolerating it. But when I read Linus' rants, I don't get the feeling of someone being abusive. They're vociferous and profane, but they don't seem mean. Instead it feels like there's always a wry chuckle hidden in there (yes, even in "Mauro you are full of shit"), a sort of "You see what I have to put up with" winking to the side, and a kind of nimbleness in how he can take up or drop that tone very quickly. Emotionally violent people, in my experience, aren't like that. They get stuck in anger, and the situation is usually about them personally (they've been insulted, are not getting their due, no one recognizes how smart/gifted/good they are, etc.) I don't read that in Linus. His ego doesn't seem so involved in those rants, which is probably why, even when he's yelling, there's an accompanying lightness. I have no idea how accurate that impression is. One would have to know someone personally to say.