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we'll have to agree to disagree. The fundamental claim that I simply don't accept is that people can't handle words. I disagree. People have the capacity to han

by riggins 13y ago

we'll have to agree to disagree. The fundamental claim that I simply don't accept is that people can't handle words. I disagree. People have the capacity to handle anything that is said to them. Psychological abuse is just as real to the brain as physical abuse is to the skin and muscle beneath. a. I'm skeptical of this claim. Would like to see your source b. Only to the extent you allow it. That's one of the defining features of being a human. I can actually say to myself 'pull it together, words are meaningless' or 'this guy is an ignorant, why would I care what he says'.

darkarmani 13y ago
> People have the capacity to handle anything that is said to them...I can actually say to myself 'pull it together, words are meaningless' or 'this guy is an ignorant, why would I care what he says'. If words are meaningless why would saying anything to yourself change your state? It sounds like you are saying that you can use your own words to yourself to combat the harm of someone's words. That's very much different than saying that words have no meaning. In fact, you are saying that people's words impose a cost on you. The fact that people have "capacity" to handle things said to them means a resource is being used.
Confusion 13y ago
This response lacks empathy and imagination. Imagine being a child that for as long as he can remember has been told by his mother that he's worthless and that she should have had an abortion. You think that's 'not real' and that it only hurts 'to the extent he allows it'? Not everyone has grown up in the enviable position of being strong-willed and independent of thought, especially considering societal expectations. Suggesting anyone can just 'grow a thick skin' is as silly as suggesting you can change your gender by willing it.
- riggins 13y ago
  You're confusing me having a high opinion of what humans are capable of with not having empathy. Two different things. My opinion is that humans are capable of incredible self control if they choose to exercise it. The more they're taught that lesson and learn their own strength and capabilities, the better. Of course I'm empathetic with the kid you described. I'm saying he can rise above it though. You're saying he can't. We'll have to agree to disagree on that.
  - mpyne 13y ago
    Certainly it's easier to toughen up by rising above being slapped in the face than to deal with years of psychological abuse. Would you say that it's wrong to slap people on the face then, or that the person being slapped should treat it as a lesson in learning their own strength and capabilities. > I'm saying he can rise above it though. You're saying he can't. He didn't say the kid can't rise above it. You assumed that. I would say that the kid is not necessarily able to rise above it. But I would go further to say that it's not the kid's responsibility to have to rise above that at all, which I think is the point that's being missed here. Just because your victim might be able to withstand your attack does not make you any less culpable for having engaged in it.

by riggins 13y ago

darkarmani 13y ago

> People have the capacity to handle anything that is said to them...I can actually say to myself 'pull it together, words are meaningless' or 'this guy is an ignorant, why would I care what he says'. If words are meaningless why would saying anything to yourself change your state? It sounds like you are saying that you can use your own words to yourself to combat the harm of someone's words. That's very much different than saying that words have no meaning. In fact, you are saying that people's words impose a cost on you. The fact that people have "capacity" to handle things said to them means a resource is being used.

Confusion 13y ago

This response lacks empathy and imagination. Imagine being a child that for as long as he can remember has been told by his mother that he's worthless and that she should have had an abortion. You think that's 'not real' and that it only hurts 'to the extent he allows it'? Not everyone has grown up in the enviable position of being strong-willed and independent of thought, especially considering societal expectations. Suggesting anyone can just 'grow a thick skin' is as silly as suggesting you can change your gender by willing it.

riggins 13y ago
You're confusing me having a high opinion of what humans are capable of with not having empathy. Two different things. My opinion is that humans are capable of incredible self control if they choose to exercise it. The more they're taught that lesson and learn their own strength and capabilities, the better. Of course I'm empathetic with the kid you described. I'm saying he can rise above it though. You're saying he can't. We'll have to agree to disagree on that.
- mpyne 13y ago
  Certainly it's easier to toughen up by rising above being slapped in the face than to deal with years of psychological abuse. Would you say that it's wrong to slap people on the face then, or that the person being slapped should treat it as a lesson in learning their own strength and capabilities. > I'm saying he can rise above it though. You're saying he can't. He didn't say the kid can't rise above it. You assumed that. I would say that the kid is not necessarily able to rise above it. But I would go further to say that it's not the kid's responsibility to have to rise above that at all, which I think is the point that's being missed here. Just because your victim might be able to withstand your attack does not make you any less culpable for having engaged in it.