The analogy I would have is with one's relationship to body image. If you are saying to others constantly, "am I pretty?" not only is their feedback never goin

The analogy I would have is with one's relationship to body image. If you are saying to others constantly, "am I pretty?" not only is their feedback never going to be satisfying, it's not accurate because you aren't sure what might actually be wrong with your appearance, and they, being caught in a mix of politeness and low interest, are most likely to say something vague and positive like "you're fine, you look great." On the other hand, if "looking better" is an internally driven problem, you already have some conceptions of how to proceed and the feedback is just one of several yardsticks - the actions you take being the primary means of tracking progress. But you have to come up with your own strategy to quell your anxiety and find some internal drive. And that's where balance as a person comes in - it stops you from obsessing over the wrong things. And there's a sort of progression of maturity in understanding how to deal with feedback, too: At first you are too naive to pay attention to feedback. Then you become hyper-aware of it like a teenager. Finally, you've developed your internal systems, so you can use it as a complementary mechanism.