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"Although, I think that if I took some fancy photos of myself and primped myself up, I don't think it would do me any favors and I'd get some unwanted attention

by larrys 13y ago

"Although, I think that if I took some fancy photos of myself and primped myself up, I don't think it would do me any favors and I'd get some unwanted attention!" My brain lit up on that sentence and I clicked on your profile to see what you looked like. (Happily married and all of that but men are visual)

zmj 13y ago
Why did you post this?
- alan_cx 13y ago
  Seriously, have a think about it. That comment might be smarter than it first appears.
  - EvanKelly 13y ago
    Could you elaborate, I'm failing to read between the lines.
    - Tichy 13y ago
      Perhaps the idea is that OP was actually fishing for compliments. She said she doesn't want to evoke unwanted attention because she is too good looking, but by writing that she notified the internet of being very good looking.
  - alanctgardner2 13y ago
    The first part is weird and a little creepy. Really, he should listen to what she has to say, not look at a picture and say 'Yeah, I'd objectify her, she has a point'. Plus he had to click a few links deep to find a picture, so he went out of his way to see what some other commenter looks like, solely on the basis of gender. That's at least sexist, maybe you could really stretch and say it's salient to the conversation. The second, parenthetical statement is what tips it way over the edge. It's like making a comment about 'culturalism' and then adding a footnote saying 'BTW, I'm totally not racist'. He obviously realizes that absent any context, saying "I spent at least 30 seconds hunting for a picture of you on the internet, person I've never met" is not socially appropriate. So he tries to shore it up with the fact that he's married, so obviously he has no interest in any other women outside of clinically judging their suitability for objectification. This is further supported by the incredible, scientific claim that men's ability to process someone's comments on a message board is directly impacted by their ability to first judge that person's attractiveness - in a purely objective way, remember, he's married. No doubt this gentleman has a Firefox extension dedicated to finding all HN commenter's faces so he can better understand the cryptic squiggles they produce on his screen.
alanctgardner2 13y ago
> Happily married and all of that but men are visual What does that even mean?
- larrys 13y ago
  It's like saying "I just bought a car and I"m happy with it but I still like to look at other cars at the car show or in the showroom because it makes me feel good".
  - zmj 13y ago
    Do you understand that unsolicited comments on someone's appearance are not ok?
    - lmm 13y ago
      They're not? Why not? Seriously; unsolicited negative comments on pretty much any aspect are not ok. Sexually charged comments are not ok in most environments. But I don't want to live in a world where complimenting someone on their appearance is a bad thing.
      - larrys 13y ago
        "They're not? Why not?" Add: Agree. I'm truly baffled by the parent comment. People say things about appearance all the time. And I can't think of many cases where a comment (positive) about how someone appears (if said in the proper tone of voice [1]) is not appropriate. And even in the case of a negative comment you'd have to take the relationship of the parties into account (agreeing that that's a much broader situation and safer to not say anything). [1] Of course I can think of many other exceptions (person dying in the hospital and you say "you look great") but the parent comment doesn't appear to be suggesting fringe cases.
      - acjohnson55 13y ago
        It's not necessarily a bad thing, but you should consider that it's often unwelcome. There are things people think of as compliments to me that aren't things I actually want to hear, particularly from people I don't know.

by larrys 13y ago

zmj 13y ago

Why did you post this?

alan_cx 13y ago
Seriously, have a think about it. That comment might be smarter than it first appears.
- EvanKelly 13y ago
  Could you elaborate, I'm failing to read between the lines.
  - Tichy 13y ago
    Perhaps the idea is that OP was actually fishing for compliments. She said she doesn't want to evoke unwanted attention because she is too good looking, but by writing that she notified the internet of being very good looking.
- alanctgardner2 13y ago
  The first part is weird and a little creepy. Really, he should listen to what she has to say, not look at a picture and say 'Yeah, I'd objectify her, she has a point'. Plus he had to click a few links deep to find a picture, so he went out of his way to see what some other commenter looks like, solely on the basis of gender. That's at least sexist, maybe you could really stretch and say it's salient to the conversation. The second, parenthetical statement is what tips it way over the edge. It's like making a comment about 'culturalism' and then adding a footnote saying 'BTW, I'm totally not racist'. He obviously realizes that absent any context, saying "I spent at least 30 seconds hunting for a picture of you on the internet, person I've never met" is not socially appropriate. So he tries to shore it up with the fact that he's married, so obviously he has no interest in any other women outside of clinically judging their suitability for objectification. This is further supported by the incredible, scientific claim that men's ability to process someone's comments on a message board is directly impacted by their ability to first judge that person's attractiveness - in a purely objective way, remember, he's married. No doubt this gentleman has a Firefox extension dedicated to finding all HN commenter's faces so he can better understand the cryptic squiggles they produce on his screen.

alanctgardner2 13y ago

> Happily married and all of that but men are visual What does that even mean?

larrys 13y ago
It's like saying "I just bought a car and I"m happy with it but I still like to look at other cars at the car show or in the showroom because it makes me feel good".
- zmj 13y ago
  Do you understand that unsolicited comments on someone's appearance are not ok?
  - lmm 13y ago
    They're not? Why not? Seriously; unsolicited negative comments on pretty much any aspect are not ok. Sexually charged comments are not ok in most environments. But I don't want to live in a world where complimenting someone on their appearance is a bad thing.
    - larrys 13y ago
      "They're not? Why not?" Add: Agree. I'm truly baffled by the parent comment. People say things about appearance all the time. And I can't think of many cases where a comment (positive) about how someone appears (if said in the proper tone of voice [1]) is not appropriate. And even in the case of a negative comment you'd have to take the relationship of the parties into account (agreeing that that's a much broader situation and safer to not say anything). [1] Of course I can think of many other exceptions (person dying in the hospital and you say "you look great") but the parent comment doesn't appear to be suggesting fringe cases.
    - acjohnson55 13y ago
      It's not necessarily a bad thing, but you should consider that it's often unwelcome. There are things people think of as compliments to me that aren't things I actually want to hear, particularly from people I don't know.