4 ms·

It is not about convenience, it is about participating in society. I am dependent on Facebook to keep my friends. No quotation marks. They are my real friends a

by aw3c2 13y ago

It is not about convenience, it is about participating in society. I am dependent on Facebook to keep my friends. No quotation marks. They are my real friends and they moved there for a lot of important communication. Should I instead be an outcast? No, THAT would be depressing. Please watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qzldtKV1PY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qzldtKV1PY , which nahname linked.

sanderjd 13y ago
I'm never sure if this is a generational thing or just a who-you-happen-to-know thing, but the concept of being an "outcast" because of not using Facebook just sounds ludicrous to me. Your friends wouldn't IM you or email you or text you or call you or talk to you in person if you weren't on Facebook?
- alanh 13y ago
  For some (many?) people, these steps are followed: 1. Plan event (e.g. party) 2. Invite people on Facebook It’s massively easier than texting/IMing people. Yeah, you will do it for people you really care about, but you can easily miss out if you aren’t on FB.
- burntsushi 13y ago
  I have one friend who doesn't use Facebook (for reasons unrelated to privacy), and it's really quite frustrating. If someone wants to hang out, they send a group message on Facebook. Then someone has to be responsible for communicating to my "outcast" friend via some other medium about the event. This becomes a pain in the ass when trying to schedule things. I personally would love to use email, but people just refuse to do it. Everyone wants to use Facebook because everyone is on it. Believe me, I've tried to get people to switch to email. But it always reverts back to Facebook.
  - lkrubner 13y ago
    I wonder why this was downvoted? It's presented as a factual anecdote about a real experience. I can only imagine 2 reasons to downvote this: 1.) You have evidence that burntsushi is lying and that the story is untrue. 2.) You don't want what burntsushi is saying to be true (you disagree with the lifestyle choices of burntsushi's friends). Do we really downvote people for #2 on Hacker News? Or is their proof for #1?
- crpatino 13y ago
  No they won't, and we are all in our late_30's/early_40's.
unoti 13y ago
There are different kinds of friendships. One of the best kinds of friendships are the ones where you support each other, help each other with your hardest struggles. Spend time together, make each other feel safe, and push each other to be the best you can be. Things like this aren't really best done on Facebook. Frankly, most of what is best in life is not done on Facebook.
betterunix 13y ago
So these "real friends" of yours would stop talking to you if you do not use their favorite communication service? I think you may need to reevaluate either your assumptions about your friends or perhaps whether or not they really are your friends. I have friends all of the world. I am not on Facebook or any other social networking service. Yes, I talk to my friends.
SamWhited 13y ago
Yah, this argument always strikes me as hollow (or really sad). I have a lot of good friends. They are mostly on Facebook. I am not. The worst that happens is that every now and then I get asked why I wasn't at the movies last night or something because they didn't realize that I couldn't see the invite.
chetanahuja 13y ago
Sorry. If you're dependent on Facebook to keep your friends, they are not your friends. They are your "facebook friends".

by aw3c2 13y ago

sanderjd 13y ago

I'm never sure if this is a generational thing or just a who-you-happen-to-know thing, but the concept of being an "outcast" because of not using Facebook just sounds ludicrous to me. Your friends wouldn't IM you or email you or text you or call you or talk to you in person if you weren't on Facebook?

alanh 13y ago
For some (many?) people, these steps are followed: 1. Plan event (e.g. party) 2. Invite people on Facebook It’s massively easier than texting/IMing people. Yeah, you will do it for people you really care about, but you can easily miss out if you aren’t on FB.
burntsushi 13y ago
I have one friend who doesn't use Facebook (for reasons unrelated to privacy), and it's really quite frustrating. If someone wants to hang out, they send a group message on Facebook. Then someone has to be responsible for communicating to my "outcast" friend via some other medium about the event. This becomes a pain in the ass when trying to schedule things. I personally would love to use email, but people just refuse to do it. Everyone wants to use Facebook because everyone is on it. Believe me, I've tried to get people to switch to email. But it always reverts back to Facebook.
- lkrubner 13y ago
  I wonder why this was downvoted? It's presented as a factual anecdote about a real experience. I can only imagine 2 reasons to downvote this: 1.) You have evidence that burntsushi is lying and that the story is untrue. 2.) You don't want what burntsushi is saying to be true (you disagree with the lifestyle choices of burntsushi's friends). Do we really downvote people for #2 on Hacker News? Or is their proof for #1?
crpatino 13y ago
No they won't, and we are all in our late_30's/early_40's.

unoti 13y ago

There are different kinds of friendships. One of the best kinds of friendships are the ones where you support each other, help each other with your hardest struggles. Spend time together, make each other feel safe, and push each other to be the best you can be. Things like this aren't really best done on Facebook. Frankly, most of what is best in life is not done on Facebook.

betterunix 13y ago

So these "real friends" of yours would stop talking to you if you do not use their favorite communication service? I think you may need to reevaluate either your assumptions about your friends or perhaps whether or not they really are your friends. I have friends all of the world. I am not on Facebook or any other social networking service. Yes, I talk to my friends.

SamWhited 13y ago

Yah, this argument always strikes me as hollow (or really sad). I have a lot of good friends. They are mostly on Facebook. I am not. The worst that happens is that every now and then I get asked why I wasn't at the movies last night or something because they didn't realize that I couldn't see the invite.

chetanahuja 13y ago

Sorry. If you're dependent on Facebook to keep your friends, they are not your friends. They are your "facebook friends".