Ender hated that side of himself, the destructive side. No one ever said that the "adults" aka the military in that book were good people. It's not directly sta

Ender hated that side of himself, the destructive side. No one ever said that the "adults" aka the military in that book were good people. It's not directly stated, but to me it had an implied tone of wrongness, that they thought they were acting as they must to strike first. In later books the Hive Queen confirms that they were never going to come back and that makes an obvious statement that the xenocide was unnecessary. As for Ender's treatment of Bean, I think that's pretty much identical to how coaches and military leaders behave. Ender even privately scolds himself for the way he mirrored Graffs treatment of him in Bean's treatment. After that I believe he makes an effort to treat his subordinates as friends, but it's too late (because they still act coldly toward him). I think Ender hated and regretted what he was forced into unwittingly doing, hence his writing of the Hive Queen & Hegemon as well as the years of hearing himself referred to as "Ender the Xenocide" without ever defending his actions once. I think that maybe you're too excited to be upset by this. Card is a twat, but I hold that his books are a closet outlet for his rational mind.