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>There is no gender equality when it comes to what a child needs. A child needs the smile of a mother as much as they need the smile of a father. And one can no

by 3825 13y ago

>There is no gender equality when it comes to what a child needs. A child needs the smile of a mother as much as they need the smile of a father. And one can not replace the other. There is such a heavy statement that I cannot begin to explain how wrong it is. Are you saying that a single parent cannot raise a child on her (or his) own? In the absence of any scientific evidence in your support, I'd say you are absolutely and terribly wrong. How can you say "a father cannot replace a mother"? I don't mind you not taking offense. I don't mind your assertion that your wife is a better parent than you are. However, it remains at best anecdotal. Your leap of faith from one example to a broad generalization that irreparably harms not only women but single fathers and same-sex couples in one broad swath is very disturbing. I hope you realize that.

cristianpascu 13y ago
If you think a single mother raising children is happy, than we don't share the same definition of happiness. I was raised by a responsible woman married with a very irresponsible man.
- 3825 13y ago
  I respect your personal experience but we cannot draw conclusions that can hurt a lot of people without backing evidence. I hear stories about how alcoholic mothers get custody of children over responsible dads. We do not have full support from the people in terms of same-sex marriage. In a situation like this, generalization like this probably does more damage than it is worth. I wouldn't say the mother is happy. I'd imagine she'd be overworked unless she had some help (grandparents perhaps?). However, I'd not make any statement that might be seen as her not being capable of doing as good a job.
- cristianpascu 13y ago
  I believe it's fair to say the woman do a greater job than they would normally do. There're heros. But doesn't mean that it's just as good. Given the circumstances, they do their best. The best of all being that they make it possible to their children to grow, at least, healthy enough to be aware and overcome the missing parts of their families. Needless to say, there are many man+woman families that fuck up their kids. Needless to say.
noblethrasher 13y ago
To the degree that breastfeeding might be non-negligbly beneficial[1], sex-inequality with respect to child rearing is manifest. [1] http://news.brown.edu/pressreleases/2013/06/breastfeeding http://news.brown.edu/pressreleases/2013/06/breastfeeding
- icebraining 13y ago
  You can bottle breastmilk for the father to feed his child. Some women even pump exclusively (e.g., because the child has trouble latching). There are also breastmilk banks, for parents who can't produce their own (partially or at all).
narwally 13y ago
Here is my take on what he was saying. If a child has a mother and father(or mom&mom/dad&dad, there are always going to be things that one parent is better capable of handling than the other. I saw his view to align with the phrase "it take a village to raise a child", meaning that kids have many and varying needs that are best fulfilled by a group of people that love them. I think it's certainty true that a single parent can raise a child just as well as a multi parent household, but that doesn't mean that a child doesn't also benefit from love and care from others. I think the point is that whoever are the important adults in a child's life, each of them provide benefits that others aren't as well suited for. A mom isn't a drop in replacement for a dad, a grandmother isn't a replacement for an aunt, and the next door neighbor that might as well be a child's second mom isn't a replacement for the child's biological mother. I think the point was that gender equality isn't at all important to a child or it's needs, so we should quit making it one at all.
- Dewie 13y ago
  > I think the point was that gender equality isn't at all important to a child or it's needs, so we should quit making it one at all. It should definitely be a gender equality issue, too. Women are by many, or even most, viewed as an essential parent, while a father is a nice-to-have parent. This doesn't help in divorce proceedings, where at the worst a crack addicted mother might be more likely to get full custody then a responsible father. Needless to say, this ultimately harms children as well. At its heart this isn't some luxury concern in the vain of dads should get paternity leave from their jobs (although that does sound like a worthy end-goal) - the main point is to combat gender stereotypes that keeps us from seeing the individual people and their personalities, which harms everybody involved.

by 3825 13y ago

cristianpascu 13y ago

If you think a single mother raising children is happy, than we don't share the same definition of happiness. I was raised by a responsible woman married with a very irresponsible man.

3825 13y ago
I respect your personal experience but we cannot draw conclusions that can hurt a lot of people without backing evidence. I hear stories about how alcoholic mothers get custody of children over responsible dads. We do not have full support from the people in terms of same-sex marriage. In a situation like this, generalization like this probably does more damage than it is worth. I wouldn't say the mother is happy. I'd imagine she'd be overworked unless she had some help (grandparents perhaps?). However, I'd not make any statement that might be seen as her not being capable of doing as good a job.
cristianpascu 13y ago
I believe it's fair to say the woman do a greater job than they would normally do. There're heros. But doesn't mean that it's just as good. Given the circumstances, they do their best. The best of all being that they make it possible to their children to grow, at least, healthy enough to be aware and overcome the missing parts of their families. Needless to say, there are many man+woman families that fuck up their kids. Needless to say.

noblethrasher 13y ago

To the degree that breastfeeding might be non-negligbly beneficial[1], sex-inequality with respect to child rearing is manifest. [1] http://news.brown.edu/pressreleases/2013/06/breastfeeding http://news.brown.edu/pressreleases/2013/06/breastfeeding

icebraining 13y ago
You can bottle breastmilk for the father to feed his child. Some women even pump exclusively (e.g., because the child has trouble latching). There are also breastmilk banks, for parents who can't produce their own (partially or at all).

narwally 13y ago

Here is my take on what he was saying. If a child has a mother and father(or mom&mom/dad&dad, there are always going to be things that one parent is better capable of handling than the other. I saw his view to align with the phrase "it take a village to raise a child", meaning that kids have many and varying needs that are best fulfilled by a group of people that love them. I think it's certainty true that a single parent can raise a child just as well as a multi parent household, but that doesn't mean that a child doesn't also benefit from love and care from others. I think the point is that whoever are the important adults in a child's life, each of them provide benefits that others aren't as well suited for. A mom isn't a drop in replacement for a dad, a grandmother isn't a replacement for an aunt, and the next door neighbor that might as well be a child's second mom isn't a replacement for the child's biological mother. I think the point was that gender equality isn't at all important to a child or it's needs, so we should quit making it one at all.

Dewie 13y ago
> I think the point was that gender equality isn't at all important to a child or it's needs, so we should quit making it one at all. It should definitely be a gender equality issue, too. Women are by many, or even most, viewed as an essential parent, while a father is a nice-to-have parent. This doesn't help in divorce proceedings, where at the worst a crack addicted mother might be more likely to get full custody then a responsible father. Needless to say, this ultimately harms children as well. At its heart this isn't some luxury concern in the vain of dads should get paternity leave from their jobs (although that does sound like a worthy end-goal) - the main point is to combat gender stereotypes that keeps us from seeing the individual people and their personalities, which harms everybody involved.