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This isn't only in Japan, it is a phenomenon that is spreading across the globe. Japan is first hit because of the strong disparities between generations. Truth

This isn't only in Japan, it is a phenomenon that is spreading across the globe. Japan is first hit because of the strong disparities between generations. Truth is, the internet brought about a lot of things so one could have a constant "window out" from a single room. Most of us know precisely what I am talking about. I would like to theorize that this is only one of the things that facilitate such isolation by making it more tolerable. What pushes people IN is the social reflection. Misfits often get shunned for being different. Tack all that on top of the social networks and the compound strength can be overwhelming: This generation is the first generation EVER to get to observe first-hand how their failure compares to their 5th grade friend Jimbo, who's now a doctor. And Suzan has had 2 kids. Meanwhile Jack constantly posts pictures of his new cars on sites X,Y,Z. That doesn't help your self esteem when you see everyone happy and you're lonely. Back in the days, your dad might have messed up for 3 years, but the stigma never stuck because (1) people did not have proof from the network itself and (2) he was able to "snap out of it" because he wasn't constantly reminded of others great lives (and by comparison how miserable he was) - those things would get ushered behind the blinds of hearsay, they'd be on the very periphery of your life. But now all of those haunt you, via Facebook feed and other social medias, where subconsciously we mostly try to advertise our successes. I think it is time for psychiatry to wake up to this. I fear it will take another 50-100 years for this to be understood. I wish the world would wake up and realize that WE as a society are malfunctioning and that the burden to support each-others falls on all.

wisty 13y ago
It doesn't help that a lot of people only post good stuff to Facebook. "Pictures of wife and I celebrating our anniversary!". They don't then say "We both screamed at each other for 3 hours, just after the photo was taken."
- WhoIsSatoshi 13y ago
  I have this friend who manages to do just the opposite. He complains that his life sucks, that he needs a job and that he's lonely and wishes he'd meet someone. This of course has the adverse effect on people: it makes them keep their distance because you're "anti-social" or a "downer". Pretty creepy to realize that your whole life can be affected so much by what you see of the world... and what the world sees of you. Television probably had a lesser impact previously, but we're entering a whole new level of social superficiality.
  - wisty 13y ago
    Yeah, overshare can work both ways. All your friends are either having a fantastic time, or their life is ruined. Both can be a bit depressing to watch.
    - michaelochurch 13y ago
      All your friends are either having a fantastic time, or their life is ruined. Both can be a bit depressing to watch. If you find it depressing that they're having a "fantastic time", then they aren't your friends in any meaningful sense. This isn't directed at you. Envy is a stigmatized but natural human emotion. (I rarely feel direct envy, but who doesn't second-guess the path they've taken? It's very easy to look for greener grass and say, "Man, I could be a Director now instead of a 3-failed-startup wash-out", never mind that the other person is Director of a failing, bland company.) Everyone gets down when they see other people having easy, seemingly unearned success-- and oversharers tend to be the hypersocial people who make their successes look even more unearned (it being better, in their view, to be well-liked and socially successful than talented or hard-working). My point, rather, is that if these people's successes get you down, they aren't friends in any meaningful sense. And social network "friendship" is anything but in many cases, since many people are trying to incite envy to validate their own choices and results. Most of my real friends I never check on Facebook.
      - eli_gottlieb 13y ago
        Plenty of people are jealous of our actual friends sometimes. There's just still a difference between, "Damn, I wish I had a nice apartment like Miles does" and "Wow, fuck you Miles, posting pics of your snooty-ass new apartment". You can be jealous of the good experience without letting it poison your liking for the person.
- TazeTSchnitzel 13y ago
  Facebook is depressing to people like me precisely because it allows you to compare your lowlights tto an endless stream of others' highlights.
  - gordaco 13y ago
    I have to say that one of the best things I've ever done to my depression is to stop using Facebook, cold turkey. I have less social interactions, but they have much better quality thanks to the filtering, and there is a significant effect in my mood.
paganel 13y ago
> Back in the days, your dad might have messed up for 3 years, but the stigma never stuck because (1) people did not have proof from the network itself and (2) he was able to "snap out of it" because he wasn't constantly reminded of others great lives I'm with you on this, my dad has actually remained "messed up" financially- and career-wise, even though he was a brilliant student and young civil construction engineer back in the day. Of course I love him and think of him as one of the smartest and most intelligent people I have ever talked to, but I cringe at the thought of what would have happened to him on an emotional level if he were to had access to Facebook, for the reasons you describe above (he and mom live in the countryside now, I've brought them an old PC some time ago but thought it best not to install them Internet). For a possible solution, I think that at some point we will be forced to retreat from this online social mess we've become entangled in, if not by our own will maybe at least our subconscious will force us to. Could be that it's all just a craze.
- WhoIsSatoshi 13y ago
  It could all be a craze, but I'm worried it's only the beginning of a new world order - And the last resort of this society is its most unlikely candidate: the geeks and nerds that have since times past been shunned and excluded (oh the irony!) We have to manage a personal shift beyond that - then the people who won't let the bad weigh on their shoulder or get used to the good making their life easier will be able to exist beyond appearances, and find substance in things. I can see EST coming back in force within the next 50 years.

wisty 13y ago

It doesn't help that a lot of people only post good stuff to Facebook. "Pictures of wife and I celebrating our anniversary!". They don't then say "We both screamed at each other for 3 hours, just after the photo was taken."

WhoIsSatoshi 13y ago
I have this friend who manages to do just the opposite. He complains that his life sucks, that he needs a job and that he's lonely and wishes he'd meet someone. This of course has the adverse effect on people: it makes them keep their distance because you're "anti-social" or a "downer". Pretty creepy to realize that your whole life can be affected so much by what you see of the world... and what the world sees of you. Television probably had a lesser impact previously, but we're entering a whole new level of social superficiality.
- wisty 13y ago
  Yeah, overshare can work both ways. All your friends are either having a fantastic time, or their life is ruined. Both can be a bit depressing to watch.
  - michaelochurch 13y ago
    All your friends are either having a fantastic time, or their life is ruined. Both can be a bit depressing to watch. If you find it depressing that they're having a "fantastic time", then they aren't your friends in any meaningful sense. This isn't directed at you. Envy is a stigmatized but natural human emotion. (I rarely feel direct envy, but who doesn't second-guess the path they've taken? It's very easy to look for greener grass and say, "Man, I could be a Director now instead of a 3-failed-startup wash-out", never mind that the other person is Director of a failing, bland company.) Everyone gets down when they see other people having easy, seemingly unearned success-- and oversharers tend to be the hypersocial people who make their successes look even more unearned (it being better, in their view, to be well-liked and socially successful than talented or hard-working). My point, rather, is that if these people's successes get you down, they aren't friends in any meaningful sense. And social network "friendship" is anything but in many cases, since many people are trying to incite envy to validate their own choices and results. Most of my real friends I never check on Facebook.
    - eli_gottlieb 13y ago
      Plenty of people are jealous of our actual friends sometimes. There's just still a difference between, "Damn, I wish I had a nice apartment like Miles does" and "Wow, fuck you Miles, posting pics of your snooty-ass new apartment". You can be jealous of the good experience without letting it poison your liking for the person.
TazeTSchnitzel 13y ago
Facebook is depressing to people like me precisely because it allows you to compare your lowlights tto an endless stream of others' highlights.
- gordaco 13y ago
  I have to say that one of the best things I've ever done to my depression is to stop using Facebook, cold turkey. I have less social interactions, but they have much better quality thanks to the filtering, and there is a significant effect in my mood.

paganel 13y ago

> Back in the days, your dad might have messed up for 3 years, but the stigma never stuck because (1) people did not have proof from the network itself and (2) he was able to "snap out of it" because he wasn't constantly reminded of others great lives I'm with you on this, my dad has actually remained "messed up" financially- and career-wise, even though he was a brilliant student and young civil construction engineer back in the day. Of course I love him and think of him as one of the smartest and most intelligent people I have ever talked to, but I cringe at the thought of what would have happened to him on an emotional level if he were to had access to Facebook, for the reasons you describe above (he and mom live in the countryside now, I've brought them an old PC some time ago but thought it best not to install them Internet). For a possible solution, I think that at some point we will be forced to retreat from this online social mess we've become entangled in, if not by our own will maybe at least our subconscious will force us to. Could be that it's all just a craze.

WhoIsSatoshi 13y ago
It could all be a craze, but I'm worried it's only the beginning of a new world order - And the last resort of this society is its most unlikely candidate: the geeks and nerds that have since times past been shunned and excluded (oh the irony!) We have to manage a personal shift beyond that - then the people who won't let the bad weigh on their shoulder or get used to the good making their life easier will be able to exist beyond appearances, and find substance in things. I can see EST coming back in force within the next 50 years.