In all honesty, I would recommend getting professional help if the issue has become so serious that you're afraid of losing control. There is a stigma against g

In all honesty, I would recommend getting professional help if the issue has become so serious that you're afraid of losing control. There is a stigma against going to therapy, which is unfortunate since refusing to go see a therapist when you're emotionally unhealthy is the equivalent of not going to a doctor when you're physically ill. You can live without the help for a while, but it will become quite hazardous to your health if you don't resolve it. I have had anger issues, although I never had rage episodes. It sounds to me that something in your life triggered this event, and that trigger may have reminded you of an earlier event in your life in which your response was to suppress your anger and hurt. This is just my guess though, but I would highly recommend you go to a therapist or even call a help line to talk things out.