4 ms·

That's a legitimate question. Now here's a question for you?Are you a dad?

Daviey 13y ago
Why is that relevant? Yes, Yes i am - of 2, not that I think that adds any merit to my comment. The first page of the post actually infuriated me. The author made a snap binary label for the father he witnessed. We all have difficult days with children, claiming that he has harmed them is simply being dramatic. Lets give this snap thing a try.. He called his child Noah, so clearly he is bringing them up to be a hug-everyone christian, and by the seems of it mollycoddled - therefore his children will be weak in modern society. I am in little doubt that i am waaaay off.. which is exactly why a minimal snapshot into someones parenting is ridiculous. Being a parent isn't about winning competitions for father of the year. Most of us do the best we can, with what we have - and hopefully bring up our children the best we can.
- adaml_623 13y ago
  Well if you weren't a parent I was going to point you to some of the links I've seen recently where people talk about how being a parent has changed their lives and made them consider everything differently. My explanation was going to be that there are enough parents on HN that this article which talks about how to live your life and how to treat your children piqued people interest. Also maybe HN parents want the other HN parents to never treat their children like that. But irrelevant since you have kids. I think this article was upvoted due to its be better at the important things in your life theme. Analyse your behaviour and improve. Edit: to clarify I wasn't implying that you personally needed to analyse your behaviour.
- PavlovsCat 13y ago
  Most of us do the best we can, with what we have No, all of us do, that's one of the things you can say about anyone and anything. And a "snap binary judgement" is better than even that, sometimes (don't mistake your false dichotomy for a "snap" "binary" judgement, either) You see, if the author did accuse that particular father wrongly, it was with the best intentions for the kid. Surely that father would appreciate it. Or are you saying that accusing someone of being abusive when they aren't, is worse than looking the other way when they are, so it's better err on the side of assuming everybody wants the best for their kids and surely there is a rational explanation for even the most cold and brutal behaviour blah blah blah? Fuck statistics, fuck research, let's go by how we want to view ourselves, and project that on all other parents as well?
  - Daviey 13y ago
    The account that the blog conveyed seems overly emotional to me. Balance of probabilities, I suspect the incident was not abusive. If someone came to me and raised a child protection or abuse issue, i'd likely not 'appreciate it' and give them some scathing pointers on my views. Seriously, what do you expect to happen? 'Some stranger thinks I am being a bad parent.. he must know much more than me, i'll change to comply to his belief.' You have escalated this to a different level "brutal behaviour" is dramatising it, twisting the original point (and even escalating the blog post) to a different proportion. Naturally, if there was "brutal behaviour" - then this would be a different incident. At no point did I suggest we discount statistics or research. However, I do believe people are generally good and have their children's best interest at heart (I am sure stats support that). Busybody judgements are rarely helpful IMO, if anything - they make it so parents find it harder to discipline their children in public through fear of misinterpretations from people like you, meaning that we have a generation that do not have respect and discipline.
    - PavlovsCat 13y ago
      > "brutal behaviour" is dramatising it, “If you so much as make a sound or come off of that wall again, I promise you’re going to get it when we get home." Call that whatever the fuck you want.. if you don't see anything wrong with that, you might be the weakest link. > Busybody judgements are rarely helpful The blog author at least was present in the situation they're talking about. That's a hell of a lot more than anything you're arguing from, that "people in general" are nice to their kids and whatnot. > they make it so parents find it harder to discipline their children in public through fear of misinterpretations from people like you People like me? And why should someone else not discipline you in public? What kind of special ownership do you think you have over your kids? None other than correcting their mistakes, and protecting them. Anybody can and should do that to anybody, no? > we have a generation that do not have respect and discipline. Right. Says the generation too busy stuffing their faces and shining boots to even know themselves, much less their children. You don't teach respect by punishment, but by example. And authority is not automatically justified either, you get that by actually having a clue; punishment doesn't help here at all. It just helps to raise more people with issues who then seek to impart them on others. Well, at least I now know why this rubbed you the wrong way. Believe it or not, I've never seen anyone getting a bad look or given anyone one for simply being firm with their child. There is a difference. We say stop being dicks, others respond "you're asking us to be rollovers". It's bullshit, plain and simple.

Why is that relevant? Yes, Yes i am - of 2, not that I think that adds any merit to my comment. The first page of the post actually infuriated me. The author made a snap binary label for the father he witnessed. We all have difficult days with children, claiming that he has harmed them is simply being dramatic. Lets give this snap thing a try.. He called his child Noah, so clearly he is bringing them up to be a hug-everyone christian, and by the seems of it mollycoddled - therefore his children will be weak in modern society. I am in little doubt that i am waaaay off.. which is exactly why a minimal snapshot into someones parenting is ridiculous. Being a parent isn't about winning competitions for father of the year. Most of us do the best we can, with what we have - and hopefully bring up our children the best we can.

adaml_623 13y ago
Well if you weren't a parent I was going to point you to some of the links I've seen recently where people talk about how being a parent has changed their lives and made them consider everything differently. My explanation was going to be that there are enough parents on HN that this article which talks about how to live your life and how to treat your children piqued people interest. Also maybe HN parents want the other HN parents to never treat their children like that. But irrelevant since you have kids. I think this article was upvoted due to its be better at the important things in your life theme. Analyse your behaviour and improve. Edit: to clarify I wasn't implying that you personally needed to analyse your behaviour.
PavlovsCat 13y ago
Most of us do the best we can, with what we have No, all of us do, that's one of the things you can say about anyone and anything. And a "snap binary judgement" is better than even that, sometimes (don't mistake your false dichotomy for a "snap" "binary" judgement, either) You see, if the author did accuse that particular father wrongly, it was with the best intentions for the kid. Surely that father would appreciate it. Or are you saying that accusing someone of being abusive when they aren't, is worse than looking the other way when they are, so it's better err on the side of assuming everybody wants the best for their kids and surely there is a rational explanation for even the most cold and brutal behaviour blah blah blah? Fuck statistics, fuck research, let's go by how we want to view ourselves, and project that on all other parents as well?
- Daviey 13y ago
  The account that the blog conveyed seems overly emotional to me. Balance of probabilities, I suspect the incident was not abusive. If someone came to me and raised a child protection or abuse issue, i'd likely not 'appreciate it' and give them some scathing pointers on my views. Seriously, what do you expect to happen? 'Some stranger thinks I am being a bad parent.. he must know much more than me, i'll change to comply to his belief.' You have escalated this to a different level "brutal behaviour" is dramatising it, twisting the original point (and even escalating the blog post) to a different proportion. Naturally, if there was "brutal behaviour" - then this would be a different incident. At no point did I suggest we discount statistics or research. However, I do believe people are generally good and have their children's best interest at heart (I am sure stats support that). Busybody judgements are rarely helpful IMO, if anything - they make it so parents find it harder to discipline their children in public through fear of misinterpretations from people like you, meaning that we have a generation that do not have respect and discipline.
  - PavlovsCat 13y ago
    > "brutal behaviour" is dramatising it, “If you so much as make a sound or come off of that wall again, I promise you’re going to get it when we get home." Call that whatever the fuck you want.. if you don't see anything wrong with that, you might be the weakest link. > Busybody judgements are rarely helpful The blog author at least was present in the situation they're talking about. That's a hell of a lot more than anything you're arguing from, that "people in general" are nice to their kids and whatnot. > they make it so parents find it harder to discipline their children in public through fear of misinterpretations from people like you People like me? And why should someone else not discipline you in public? What kind of special ownership do you think you have over your kids? None other than correcting their mistakes, and protecting them. Anybody can and should do that to anybody, no? > we have a generation that do not have respect and discipline. Right. Says the generation too busy stuffing their faces and shining boots to even know themselves, much less their children. You don't teach respect by punishment, but by example. And authority is not automatically justified either, you get that by actually having a clue; punishment doesn't help here at all. It just helps to raise more people with issues who then seek to impart them on others. Well, at least I now know why this rubbed you the wrong way. Believe it or not, I've never seen anyone getting a bad look or given anyone one for simply being firm with their child. There is a difference. We say stop being dicks, others respond "you're asking us to be rollovers". It's bullshit, plain and simple.