10 ms·

Find it hard to trust that piece, too many possible agendas come to mind that could motivate publishing it. For what it's worth, I've been watching porn now an

by Tichy 13y ago

Find it hard to trust that piece, too many possible agendas come to mind that could motivate publishing it. For what it's worth, I've been watching porn now an then and it didn't spiral into more and more kinky and what not stuff for me. I still prefer "playboy style" most of the time. The thesis that porn worsens your sexual taste is probably the foundation for a lot of ideological campaigns...

ImprovedSilence 13y ago
>> For what it's worth, I've been watching porn now an then and it didn't spiral into more and more kinky and what not stuff for me. I still prefer "playboy style" most of the time. yeah, and I drink alcohol from time to time, and it doesn't spiral into binging and/or addiction. But just because that is the case for me, doesn't mean it's the case for others as well...
- Tichy 13y ago
  Obviously it is a problem for some people, but the distinction that it's not a problem for everyone is an important one.
hedonist 13y ago
Yeah. Also disappointing is the tendency to be completely oblivious (it would seem) to the difference between correlation and causality. For example: At the 2003 American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers meeting, two-thirds of lawyers reported that compulsive Internet use played a significant role in divorces over that year, and 56 percent of those divorce cases included a partner who had an obsessive interest in pornographic websites. i.e. one of the partners was using porn as a band-aid to ease the pain of a much deeper problem -- which typically takes one of 3 forms: (1) both partners love each other and are doing "everything right" but one has discovered, before the other it would seem, that they just aren't really compatible sexually; (2) they're still hot for each other, but other distractions (fighting, money, kids) are getting in the way; or (3) one of the other parts has "discovered" that they have a different chromosomal preference. Nasty and potentially intractable issues, indeed. But porn watching by itself -- even excessively so? In comparison, not so much.
- Tichy 13y ago
  Also perhaps "porn addiction" is a good argument in a divorce case?
- cookiecaper 13y ago
  While it's true that porn use is often motivated by deeper emotional problems, that doesn't mean it's an acceptable outlet. Pornography use obviously does cause serious emotional strife to many partners, or they wouldn't report it as a major factor in their divorce. One may enjoy breaking the windows of adjacent corporate complexes with a golf club to blow off frustration from a day at work, but that doesn't mean it's an acceptable outlet. Pornography can cause much, much deeper, personal emotional damage than acts of petty vandalism.
- cookiecaper 13y ago
  I hate mention of marriages failing due to "compatibility issues". It's a total mockery of the intent of the institution. When you marry, you covenant to society that you will make yourself compatible with your spouse, even when it's difficult to do so, as long as these terms do not breach a handful of fundamental contractual obligations implied by the marital covenant. If one is "sexually incompatible" with his/her spouse, they should talk about it, recognize the issues, make compromises, and move forward. They should also recognize that while sex is meaningful and important, it can't be a deal-breaker for a marriage -- what happens when a partner contracts a medical condition that precludes their participation in intercourse? This should be recognized as a possibility going in, and people should realize that they can't allow sexuality to overwhelm and consume larger, more important pieces of their relationship. Pornography can cloud this crucial perspective.
  - lotharbot 13y ago
    Medical conditions that preclude participation in everything should be recognized as a possibility going in. For example, I know a couple that was involved in a serious automobile accident. The husband walked away with minor injuries, but his wife was comatose for about a year. She couldn't uphold her marriage vows in any way during that year. Part of the covenant to society is that you will weather difficulties and remain committed to your spouse. A lot of types of "quick fixes" can cloud that perspective.
hedonist 13y ago
The thesis that porn worsens your sexual taste is probably the foundation for a lot of ideological campaigns... Not saying it's proven -- but there's nothing terribly ideological about it either. Kind of like listening to bad music (or pretty much any kind of music over and over again) can stunt your musical development... or eating too much junk food can leave you with a taste for more and more of the same... it wouldn't surprise me that too much bad porn leaves some people with bad, or just immature sexual tastes. And to the production of... lots and lots and lots of bad, nasty and just shockingly dull commercial porn.
- VLM 13y ago
  "bad, nasty and just shockingly dull" sounds like adjectives for TV, most "journalist" websites, most computer games, most radio/music as per your example, most pulp paperback novel shovelware... all ripe for profitable tech startup disruption. "pr0n that's not awful" would seem to be a perfectly valid startup goal. I have absolutely no idea how to get there, but I like the goal. Can anyone think of any VC funded startups on this topic?
  - dualogy 13y ago
    > all ripe for profitable tech startup disruption This phrase itself has by now become "shockingly dull", too, though......
  - icebraining 13y ago
    I'd say those startups already exist: they're the producing companies of feminist porn. There's even an annual Feminist Porn Award, where one of the evaluation criteria is whether the film "expands the boundaries of sexual representation on film and challenges stereotypes that are often found in mainstream porn."
    - Tichy 13y ago
      Why would feminists get to decide what is acceptable porn?
icebraining 13y ago
I did find a little extreme to automatically consider watching porn regularly a problem. On the other hand, let's not draw too many conclusions from our personal experiences; many people gamble occasionally without becoming addicted, but others definitively do.

by Tichy 13y ago

ImprovedSilence 13y ago

>> For what it's worth, I've been watching porn now an then and it didn't spiral into more and more kinky and what not stuff for me. I still prefer "playboy style" most of the time. yeah, and I drink alcohol from time to time, and it doesn't spiral into binging and/or addiction. But just because that is the case for me, doesn't mean it's the case for others as well...

Tichy 13y ago
Obviously it is a problem for some people, but the distinction that it's not a problem for everyone is an important one.

hedonist 13y ago

Yeah. Also disappointing is the tendency to be completely oblivious (it would seem) to the difference between correlation and causality. For example: At the 2003 American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers meeting, two-thirds of lawyers reported that compulsive Internet use played a significant role in divorces over that year, and 56 percent of those divorce cases included a partner who had an obsessive interest in pornographic websites. i.e. one of the partners was using porn as a band-aid to ease the pain of a much deeper problem -- which typically takes one of 3 forms: (1) both partners love each other and are doing "everything right" but one has discovered, before the other it would seem, that they just aren't really compatible sexually; (2) they're still hot for each other, but other distractions (fighting, money, kids) are getting in the way; or (3) one of the other parts has "discovered" that they have a different chromosomal preference. Nasty and potentially intractable issues, indeed. But porn watching by itself -- even excessively so? In comparison, not so much.

Tichy 13y ago
Also perhaps "porn addiction" is a good argument in a divorce case?
cookiecaper 13y ago
While it's true that porn use is often motivated by deeper emotional problems, that doesn't mean it's an acceptable outlet. Pornography use obviously does cause serious emotional strife to many partners, or they wouldn't report it as a major factor in their divorce. One may enjoy breaking the windows of adjacent corporate complexes with a golf club to blow off frustration from a day at work, but that doesn't mean it's an acceptable outlet. Pornography can cause much, much deeper, personal emotional damage than acts of petty vandalism.
cookiecaper 13y ago
I hate mention of marriages failing due to "compatibility issues". It's a total mockery of the intent of the institution. When you marry, you covenant to society that you will make yourself compatible with your spouse, even when it's difficult to do so, as long as these terms do not breach a handful of fundamental contractual obligations implied by the marital covenant. If one is "sexually incompatible" with his/her spouse, they should talk about it, recognize the issues, make compromises, and move forward. They should also recognize that while sex is meaningful and important, it can't be a deal-breaker for a marriage -- what happens when a partner contracts a medical condition that precludes their participation in intercourse? This should be recognized as a possibility going in, and people should realize that they can't allow sexuality to overwhelm and consume larger, more important pieces of their relationship. Pornography can cloud this crucial perspective.
- lotharbot 13y ago
  Medical conditions that preclude participation in everything should be recognized as a possibility going in. For example, I know a couple that was involved in a serious automobile accident. The husband walked away with minor injuries, but his wife was comatose for about a year. She couldn't uphold her marriage vows in any way during that year. Part of the covenant to society is that you will weather difficulties and remain committed to your spouse. A lot of types of "quick fixes" can cloud that perspective.

hedonist 13y ago

The thesis that porn worsens your sexual taste is probably the foundation for a lot of ideological campaigns... Not saying it's proven -- but there's nothing terribly ideological about it either. Kind of like listening to bad music (or pretty much any kind of music over and over again) can stunt your musical development... or eating too much junk food can leave you with a taste for more and more of the same... it wouldn't surprise me that too much bad porn leaves some people with bad, or just immature sexual tastes. And to the production of... lots and lots and lots of bad, nasty and just shockingly dull commercial porn.

VLM 13y ago
"bad, nasty and just shockingly dull" sounds like adjectives for TV, most "journalist" websites, most computer games, most radio/music as per your example, most pulp paperback novel shovelware... all ripe for profitable tech startup disruption. "pr0n that's not awful" would seem to be a perfectly valid startup goal. I have absolutely no idea how to get there, but I like the goal. Can anyone think of any VC funded startups on this topic?
- dualogy 13y ago
  > all ripe for profitable tech startup disruption This phrase itself has by now become "shockingly dull", too, though......
- icebraining 13y ago
  I'd say those startups already exist: they're the producing companies of feminist porn. There's even an annual Feminist Porn Award, where one of the evaluation criteria is whether the film "expands the boundaries of sexual representation on film and challenges stereotypes that are often found in mainstream porn."
  - Tichy 13y ago
    Why would feminists get to decide what is acceptable porn?

icebraining 13y ago

I did find a little extreme to automatically consider watching porn regularly a problem. On the other hand, let's not draw too many conclusions from our personal experiences; many people gamble occasionally without becoming addicted, but others definitively do.