I didn't express myself well enough, but your comment helped coax the idea from my heart to my brain: I have no problems with explicit fees, nothing about that

I didn't express myself well enough, but your comment helped coax the idea from my heart to my brain: I have no problems with explicit fees, nothing about that feels wrong to me. They are black and white. I want food, I pay for it. The non-negotiable, you pay the price on the menu aspect means both parties know fully-well in advance and can agree to what's being exchanged. It's the ambiguous / "implicit" fees that cause me anguish. The waitress, in knowing that after the meal I'll be forced to make a judgment call, evaluating their service allows the possibility that every interaction leading up until I've paid them has been constructed to manipulate me. And outside an egregious there's little I can do to prove/disprove that. Whereas if its spelled out that upon entering the restaurant you will "pay XX rate for the service to do YY for you" you have the peace of mind that all parties involved know exactly what's going on. And anything they do above and beyond that is authentically who they are. If they tell me a joke, I know it's because they wanted to, not because they thought it might coax more money out of me.