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Sacrificing everything for my dog. How I became a programmer
- Falling3 13y agoI like this guy. Except for when he acted like cat owners couldn't make sacrifices too. I once had to cut a trip short because my cat missed me so much that he made himself sick.
- dsowers 13y agolol. Sorry for ripping on cat people at the end. For the sake of my dog, I felt like I had to get at least one jab in there.
- Bullislander05 13y agoI found it a happy little jab at the end of a serious, introspective article. Thank you for the neat read! I, personally am looking to get a dog and cat(s) soon, and I, too, realize the massive time commitment these animals require to make it worth it. I'm shooting for a stronger at-home presence before I make the leap.
- PakG1 13y agoMy roommates told me that when I went home to visit family for vacation, my cat apparently sat at the door every day as if she was waiting for me to come back. What am I supposed to say when I hear that? She demonstrates her affection in other ways too. Dang, you get attached so easily. Definitely be prepared to be committed before you get a pet.
- Falling3 13y agoHaha no worries. I totally understand that one. I feel like I walk a strange line as someone who was born a dog person, but whose life is mostly ruled by cats (I have a dog too though).
- ionwake 13y agoYour work ethic is quite exemplary. How did you manage to stick to an 8 hour day whilst learning how to code - form home - with a dog?
- jpdoctor 13y ago> lol. Sorry for ripping on cat people at the end. For the sake of my dog Some of us forgive you, but just barely. Regardless, thanks for the great article. I've often wondered myself how much taking care of our pets is just a displaced parenting instinct.
- danso 13y agoI'm a dog and cat person, though mostly I've only been what my roommates have been. My current roommate has a dog. My last few roommates have had cats...Living in New York now, what I wouldn't give for a mouse-killing cat... It's hard to say which animal is better, overall. I will say though that a cat whose devotion you've earned, to the point that it's as loyal as a dog (yet knows how to use the litter box)...is my favorite hybrid pet of all.
- StavrosK 13y agoRegarding the litter box situation, I prefer dogs. They let you know when they have to go so you don't have to scoop foul-smelling poop and stink up the apartment.
- ecopoesis 13y agoI have two cats, and they don't stink up the house. Use good litter, not that clay crap, but the wheat or corn based ones, and scoop every day into something like a litter genie. It works perfectly, except when my older cat forgets to bury. The younger one usually takes care of that though.
- StavrosK 13y agoI don't know, our two kittens (now grown) make the stinkiest poop imaginable. We scoop them up right after they do it, but they still manage to stink the whole apartment up. I don't know why that happens, they only eat pate/dry food, but it does.
- hoggle 13y agoI've got tremendous respect for this man - honestly identifying what's important and then changing direction so fundamentally is very hard. It takes a lot of courage to do all of that, we need more loving people for sure.
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- matryoshka4811 13y agoReally sweet story. As a two-cat household (no doggies allowed in apartment unfortunately) I understand the desire to be home with them. I always tell people being with my kitties all day is a major plus for being a programmer. And didn't mind the ending line, cat people have their dog people jokes too so it's fun for all of us.
- javert 13y agoGreat story. However, this clearly was not a sacrifice. It would be a sacrifice if he had made himself miserable for the sake of the dog. We have a culture that glorifies sacrifice, and we need to stop doing that. Sacrifice is a barbaric, religious notion. Nobody truly gains by others' sacrifices.
- eshvk 13y agoYou are lucky the west is a guilt based culture; this glorification of sacrifice goes even further in shame based cultures.
- javert 13y agoI can't imagine any form of sacrifice-worship more severe than Christianity, which has generally ruled the west for 1700 years. That said, many Westerners are much better than the central theme of their religion. I can't really speak for eastern cultures. You may be right.
- PakG1 13y agoWe have a culture that glorifies sacrifice because sacrifice deserves a good reputation in general. The source may be religious. To quote a religious source, "Great love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." Whether it's a soldier throwing himself on a grenade to protect his fellow men in service, my poor immigrant aunt forgoing university to work right away so that all of her poor immigrant younger siblings would be able to afford to go to university, or a kid using his allowance to donate to charities that help kids in wartorn nations instead of buying himself a new toy, sacrifice is laudable. And sacrifice does not necessitate misery. That's a false definition of what sacrifice entails. Yes, sacrifice can involve misery, but it does not necessitate misery. Many who sacrifice do it because it is meaningful and they have no bitterness from doing it. My aunt regrets never going to university. But she would make the same decision again in a heartbeat. Sacrifice is glorified for a reason. In the example of the soldier, it is because of bravery and courage. In the case of my aunt, it is because of responsibility. In the case of the kid, it is because of warmheartedness. In all three cases, you could say it traces all back to a deep sense of love and wanting to do what's right. And there is nothing wrong with that at all.
- seldo 13y agoRemember kids, if you work hard, sacrifice, and have parents with a spare house in Tahoe they can lend you rent-free indefinitely, you too can make it as a programmer.
- eshvk 13y agoshrugs Everyone has advantages. You being born in the U.S. or having the ability to work in the U.S. is an advantage. Hell, whatever shit that happened to you in your life that made you who you are today, that makes you wake up everyday and decide to work (whilst your fellow man sits drinking a beer and bemoans the lazy Mexican stealing his job) is an advantage. (Although, I would fucking love a family with a spare house in Tahoe. )
- javert 13y agoThere may be something to that, but it's kind of unrelated to the article. The article claims to be about sacrifice, but it's actually about pursuing happiness. And his lesson in pursuing happiness is pretty universal: Be willing to make very big life changes in the pursuit of happiness, and supposed "obligations" to others are never significant enough to sacrifice your happiness to. P.S. In anticipation of a potential criticism of this, no, having children is not a "sacrifice." Do it because it makes you happy to do it. If it's a sacrifice, you're doing it wrong.
- hkmurakami 13y agoPretty sure he would have found a way even without these advantages. Might have taken a longer time, might have been a pretty ugly show, but once the conviction the hardest part was over.
- Udo 13y agoWho your parents are and who you know is a big determinant of what you're going to do with your life. I don't see anything wrong with using these resources if they're available. Also, as a European, I am continually amazed by the low, low real estate prices in some parts of the US. There are very nice big rural properties that even I could afford without a lot of hassle. I must admit I've actually toyed with the idea of buying one, but to make it full circle with the article, decided against it because I thought it would be utterly unfair to my cat (she suffers enough absences as it is) - I realized that she has very little time left and that we're going to make the best of it :)
- barbs 13y agoI really wish this trend of pressing left and right arrow keys to change articles/blog-posts would hurry up and die. Maybe I'm just stupidly clumsy, but so many times I'll try and scroll down on one of these pages and get thrown to some random story that doesn't interest me because I hit the wrong arrow key.
- VladRussian2 13y ago> If you’ve ever owned a dog, you know just how intelligent they actually are (especially larger breeds) yes, some larger breeds rate higher on obedience scale, and we, humans, equate that to the intelligence in animals. There is another bias also is that large breeds are more frequently working breeds, thus a lot of specialized effort is invested into training them, and thus more of the obedience results achieved.
- yardie 13y agoCouldn't obedience be another form of intelligence?
- notimetorelax 13y agoAgree, to do everything right they have to understand when and how to do that.
- sejje 13y agoOr symptom, anyway.
- ianstallings 13y agoBecause dogs simply will not sit down and take a written test. Unruly bastards.
- VladRussian2 13y agoabout anthropocentric design of the tests - reminded me about how they tested chimpanzees for ability to recognize faces (an ability which we consider a necessary trait for a high intelligence), and there wasn't much progress until instead of human faces chimpanzee faces started to be used in the test.
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- rl3 13y agoThe author's opinions on incurring credit card debt strikes me as naive with a hint of survivorship bias. > As long as you use the money properly, and investing in yourself is the best possible way to use money, credit cards can give you a new life. If by using the money properly he meant investing in his business, then, what would have happened if his business instead failed (as most do)? Incurring high-interest debt like that isn't really advisable unless you have a solid plan B to deal with it in case things go awry (which they probably will).
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- precisioncoder 13y agoThat's the wonderful and horrible thing about the US. There are a myriad of high risk high reward options like credit cards and student debt. For some people they pay off, for others they end up drowning in debt. There are some wonderful success stories and some terrifying stories of lives reduced to abject poverty.
- dapz 13y agoI think it is mostly wonderful. In the part of the third world my parents are from unless your family is independently wealthy then you simply won't be able to afford to go to college and thus are destined to (at best) have some very low-paying menial labor job. Contrast this with the US, you can get federally-backed, low-interest loans, go to school majoring in engineering and move from poverty to middle class in one generation. Pretty sweet deal, imo.
- precisioncoder 13y agoWell it's a huge difference with Europe. Specifically in Austria where I'm living everyone gets an education for free, there's free health care, even menial jobs are well paid. Everyone lives a pretty solid middle class life but there are much fewer people struggling to change the world. Fewer success stories but everyone is taken care of. It's an interesting situation, hell there's not even credit card debt since if your credit isn't paid by the end of the month it's locked until you pay your balance down to zero.
- benatkin 13y agoIt seems like he might have solved his problem twice. I have a friend who's a serious dog person, and having a significant other who gets home several hours before he does has helped his dog to be happy. Perhaps Lisa also has an easier schedule than dsowers would have if he continued being a chemist.
- jurassic 13y agoThe bit about having to overcome feelings of guilt about disappointing your advisor in order to live the right life for you really resonated with me. Taking the long-term view to make the right short-term life choices is something that many of my unhappy colleagues still toiling on their doctorates would benefit from. We PhD dropouts have decades of experience meeting and exceeding the expectations of others by the time we reach graduate school, so it feels like a radical step to finally place our own needs and desires above the need for validation from others in our lives.
- unmei 13y agoSecond. I'd also like to point out that I am a cat person and also feel bad about not being able to spend more time with my cats while I'm in the lab all day!
- zobzu 13y agoA dog is a living creature, just like a child is. Sounds good enough to attempt to make it happy. I wouldn't worry about what others think. ;-) (note: I don't have a dog.)
- gbog 13y ago> A dog is a living creature, just like a child is. Ok, mosquitoes are too. I'm really worried for those people equating their prefered pets with human beings. I remember those technokids playing the beggars in front of a somethingmarket in France, they had four enormous dogs and wanted money supposedly for their pets' food. Bullshit. If you like dogs, you do not chain them allday long to some grocery entrance, and then bring them back in some small stinky appartment. You either live with them in the countryside and go hunting rabbits with them in the morning, or you just don't breed them.
- zobzu 13y agoThat's quite a stretch you made there.
- _rknLA 13y agoBest ending ever.
- stef25 13y agoI'm in the same situation, getting sick of spending too much time away from home, but I am already a programmer who's made to commute 2.5hrs a day for a job I can do from home :(
- Afforess 13y agoI like the story, but I feel it's important to mention that the authors stated opinion on Karma is terrifying. Karma is essentially the worst sort of belief, in that superficially it seems to reward good behavior and punish bad behavior. This appeals to a lot of people because of its clear "carrot/stick" mentality and overall simplicity. This is the "Just-World" hypothesis. In reality, this kind of thinking means that if you believe in Karma, you can ignore less-fortunates because clearly they screwed up their lives on their own. Conversely, you can get away with being a jerk to people, because they probably deserved it anyway. It is a self-reinforcing bias of the worst sort.
- sudo_robin 13y ago> In reality, this kind of thinking means that if you believe in Karma, you can ignore less-fortunates because clearly they screwed up their lives on their own. Disagree - If some one is "less-fortunate" and you are in the capacity to help them, you accumulate the negative kind of karma by ignoring them. > Conversely, you can get away with being a jerk to people, because they probably deserved it anyway. Maybe. But do not forget the implications on you for being a jerk. > It is a self-reinforcing bias of the worst sort. Depends on how you take it.
- Afforess 13y agoYour interpretation of Karma may be correct, but I was responding to the author's views on Karma. I urge you to go read it again, his are the under-informed, dangerous sort.
- flyinRyan 13y agoNot to mention arguably the worst aspect of Karma belief: that the successful deserve it. This kind of belief is what causes so many people in America to vote squarely against their own interests for their entire lives.
- eshvk 13y agoThe problem with a flowery eastern concept misinterpreted and adopted in the west is that the original meaning gets distorted. Karma is merely a way of understanding "cause and effect". > This kind of belief is what causes so many people in America to vote squarely against their own interests for their entire lives. That is patronizing. There is a wide spectrum of reasons why one might say vote for lower/higher taxes between "they worked hard, so they deserve it" and "fuck you, I want mine".
- ppradhan 13y agogood story bro... hope the dog's getting a cut of the profits. kidding aside, well done!
- anigbrowl 13y agoThere are probably a lot of people out there who balk at the idea of personal sacrifice for a dog. It’s easy to spot these people, however. They are cat people. I spent $1000 last month so one of my cats could get an abcessed tooth removed on Memorial day, out of about $2500 that I took in. You're not special.
- hoggle 13y agoThat closing remark was obviously tongue-in-cheek! :)
- DjangoReinhardt 13y agoAs a cat-person, I hope the tongue-in-cheek was between the two jaws. :/
- tfb 13y agoI honestly don't know where I'd be without my dog. They really are amazing animals. It's been a rough few years and just knowing that every time I get up from the computer that he's ready to make me smile and go wherever I go, whenever I go... it's a perfect reminder of why I work as hard as I do. Even though I do walk him multiple times each day, I feel bad for sitting at this machine working 70+ hours a week trying to build a business. It's taking longer than expected and it's gotten to where I can't tell if he's just getting old or possibly depressed from lack of stimulation, so I tell him (probably more so myself ;) that we're going to move on soon and have all kinds of fun. That's the main thing that keeps me going. I just hope that by the time I do get back on my feet, there's still time to give him the life he deserves.
- nobodysfool 13y agoStop projecting your feelings on your dog. Your dog does not guilt you into anything, your dog doesn't judge you, you are judging yourself.
- tfb 13y agoI know. I thought I made that clear with the "probably more so myself" bit. But me feeling bad for the dog who has a much shorter lifespan than I do and who seems to already be losing his sight and hearing is not projecting. My sight and hearing is perfectly fine.
- t0mislav 13y agoWhat a great story!
- tluyben2 13y agoI live in a village of 40 people in the mountains a large part of the year for my dogs. Programming from home. Living in a city and working in an office I thought was horrible for animals so we changed our lives 6 years ago radically to not go to 'the office' (office at home now) and live on a large (30000 m^2) plot of land where dogs can be outside without us worrying about cars. I don't have the karma thing; I just moved because I thought dogs should be able to run around all day instead of sit in a small apartment (the apartment costing actually 4x as much as the villa + large plot of land making it really insane to me now that people actually choose and like living on 80m^2 vs 200m^2+30000m^2 for 4x as much money, but he, I loved it in the city; I'm not sure if that feeling grew or was always there). We would never move back to our previous life; there is no stress anymore and money is simply worth a lot more in the countryside.
- smoyer 13y agoPerhaps the author knew he was on the wrong path subconsciously, but convinced himself it was okay if he was making the change for his dog? To turn his own words around, why would someone who lives a life of 75-80 years decide the course of their life-time for one that will only be around for 10? P.S. I love my dog too but ...
- notimetorelax 13y agoI don't know I don't have problems making changes in my life for someone who matters to me. I don't look at life as a single event. Better split it into 5 - 10 year periods, a lot of things change in that time. Also if you like having dogs you'll have another one with similar needs in 10-15 years.
- DjangoReinhardt 13y agoQuite a bit of discussion around the meaning of Karma in here. As an Indian, I'd like to chip in with the actual meaning of "Karma" - the closest synonym in English is "fulfilling your purpose". The Indian culture is heavy with assumptions that everyone has some purpose in life. The concept of karma urges you to act upon your purpose in life - intended or perceived. It never promises any rewards or punishments by itself. That is primarily taken care of by the rest of the philosophy in these books - unsurprisingly similar to all the other religions of the world. By itself, karma has no positive or negative association. In fact, one of the holy texts dissociates your "karma" with the fruits reaped subsequent to it. "Continue fulfilling your purpose in life without expecting any rewards for your actions whatsoever." In other words: Happiness = Reality - Expectations. The lower the expectations and 'better' the reality, the greater your happiness. :)
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- cpursley 13y agoPing-pong tables, ha!! Part of the reason I won't take a higher paying job in an office environment is the satisfaction I get working from home and having my dog(s) by my side. Being able to step out of the house for fresh air and take them on a walk is worth it's weight in gold.
- cdjk 13y agoOr you could get a job where you can bring your dog to the office. That's what I do - he likes going to work more than I do, since he gets to see all of his friends at the office.
- CrazyIvan 13y agoClearly the author loved his dog more than his research advisor who supported the author through finance and other things.Glad for him though that it worked out.
- girlvinyl 13y agoDogs focus their energies on pleasure and curiosity. Being around them can really change your point of view on things. I'm very glad to be able to work from home and spend that extra time with my 13 year old dog.
- mehmehshoe 13y agoAs someone who lived in South Lake many years ago, I do get the Tallac reference. In the spring of 90 I hiked that mountain (started at 2am and reached the top at 9am)and snowboarded down the "cross". That day is one if my best memories. Thank you for the reminder=) http://www.summitpost.org/mount-tallac/150430 http://www.summitpost.org/mount-tallac/150430
- joonix 13y agoSo dogs don't deserve to be locked up all day inside, but kids, and people, do? Humans are happy outdoors. Children need to be outside exploring, playing, figuring out the earth and nature, not sitting inside on iPads all day. Just because there are "good jobs" in tech doesn't mean it's OK to withdraw your child from nature in order to allow more time tinkering with computers. Let kids get close with nature. Let them connect with animals and the earth. It will lead to calmer, more empathetic adults with less anxiety and more confidence and compassion.
- hsitz 13y agoThe writer's comments were not primarily about a dog being locked _inside_, there were more about the dog being left _alone_. It's illegal to lock a kid inside alone all day (or at all), but that's how many dogs are left, even though dogs are pack animals that decline without interaction. Yes, there is the additional element of nature (i.e., Tahoe) in the narrative. And nature certainly enriches both our lives and a dog's life. But having interaction with others is a more basic and even more important requirement in our lives. Nature, important as it is, is more like the frosting on top.
- general_failure 13y agoKids might not be locked alone but they are definitely left all alone with their iPads in practically all families I have seen. The trend is especially true in the western world where the parents are too 'busy' and send their kids off to preschool way too early since they can't be bothered with parenting.
- hackinthebochs 13y agoJust imagine if people were that dedicated to each other. I've often noticed that we treasure the unconditional love and dedication that dogs have for their owners, yet the same behavior seen among people would be considered weak, co-dependent, etc. Why is there such a disconnect here?
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