6 ms·

Guess You Thought I Was Someone To Mess With

62 points by teaspoon 13y ago

ada1981 13y ago
Why not out the guy? at the very least, as warning to other people to be weary around him.
- indrax 13y ago
  Well, we have a lot of metadata...
- wpietri 13y ago
  She mentioned on Twitter that she's afraid of a lawsuit. Somebody told her it would be libel. I'm pretty sure that's not true in the US. But even if she would eventually win the lawsuit, they can still be ruinously expensive, so her fear could be justifiable. Anyhow, other people have outed the guy on Twitter. You can turn it up with a little rummaging. Several people have asked him for his side of the story, but there has been no reply as yet.
avmich 13y ago
Quite a direct story. And it's hard to find that line where further advancements suddenly become unwelcome. I guess the advice "know your limits" is what we have.
- DennisP 13y ago
  When someone screams "no" and bites you hard on the arm, that's a clue.
- wpietri 13y ago
  I don't think it's hard to know the line where further advances become unwelcome. I ask. It's surprisingly easy; you should try it.
  - Chris2048 13y ago
    > you should try it Is that some kind of bad-faith accusation?
    - wpietri 13y ago
      "The wicked flee when no man pursueth." No, it was encouragement to try it.
      - Chris2048 13y ago
        and yet the word 'try' implies to me some other meaning. Why not try talking straight instead of abstractly?
        wpietri 13y ago
        No, you infer some other meaning. That's all you. I meant what I said, and I said what I meant.
        chris_wot 13y ago
        Unfortunately, not everyone knows what you mean.
- chris_wot 13y ago
  If the other party says "no", "stop", "I'm not comfortable with this", or any number of other things like this, then you stop. Immediately.
indrax 13y ago
ETA: I agree with mvanveen's comment below. As Georgia says, her duty is done. My confusion should be taken as my own failure to relate. Our duty is to fix these problems. I'm confused by the attitude of (maybe I'm reading this wrong) "This is a big deal, not like that silly 'feminist' stuff" when everything wrong here (other than the attack itself) is subtle institutionalized sexism. They guy's a creeper, but he wasn't already outed and banned. The victim's story is questioned because of flirting/drinking/invitation/politeness She had to second-guess herself and worry about legalities during the attack. She's now afraid of sexist comments and still doesn't want to publicly name someone who is dangerous. (I'm not criticizing her choice per se, the problem is whatever is giving her reason not to identify him) It's easy to treat all of these as little things, but if the community had treated these issues as a big deal and dealt with them, maybe this attack wouldn't even have happened.
- rogerbinns 13y ago
  The real problem is what happens after an attack or disagreeable issue. Neither party can be sure of the "process", there will be conflicting stories, other factors, reactions from the less informed, societal norms, bias etc. If there was an expectation of a prompt rapid justice process then that would have been the solution, and it would certainly diminish future issues. Instead the poster has to consider if there would even be justice, how long it would take, if it would be reasonable/objective, comments from the peanut gallery etc. Hopefully societies will keep getting better at this.
- mvanveen 13y ago
  I am not "confused" by this attitude. Can we cut a victim some slack? I think asking her to take on that "subtle institutionalized sexism" is part of the reason she expressed qualms about publishing this in the first place. I think it took tremendous courage for the author to post this and I don't think it's fair to ask her to try and address all these issues with her tone. I think the fact we're more interested in analyzing the authors tone rather than sympathizing with a woman who DEFENDED HERSELF FROM RAPE and wasn't given sufficient support at a conference is maybe why she feels like she has to put out such a tone. Please don't misinterpret me and think I'm saying that dongle jokes are ok and that subtle, institutionalized sexism isn't a big deal. I just think we could do more to give people some safe space to express anecdotes like this, and that might help foster an atmosphere of discussion. Maybe then the next person who has the courage to come forward with an issue like this will feel empowered enough to talk about the cultural factors you're mentioning without needing to get on the defensive.
stc043 13y ago
This tweet has the info about the attacker. https://twitter.com/Packetknife/status/347136455459618818 https://twitter.com/Packetknife/status/347136455459618818
deleted 13y ago
[deleted]
mathattack 13y ago
We only know her side of the story, but it is still a very brave thing to write.
chris_wot 13y ago
That's fucking awful. On far too many levels. Right now I'm feeling very angry, I'm not going to write anything more other than to say: it doesn't matter what Georgia wore, it doesn't matter if she let that bastard into her room, it doesn't matter if she said something he might have construed as sexual. You don't rape women. Georgia did nothing wrong here. To say otherwise is disgusting, and if you think it you're a worm. Less than a worm actually.
chris_wot 13y ago
Two twit pics, to really ram this home: http://t.co/cUdy33pxbl http://t.co/cUdy33pxbl http://t.co/edOkjADKNB http://t.co/edOkjADKNB
Camillo 13y ago
How did the police react to the evidence of theft? Is there an investigation under way? Shouldn't the guy get charged with that, at the very least?
thehodge 13y ago
The response from the accused bloke - http://blog.gont.com.ar/2013/06/lies-nuts-and-quest-for-attention.html http://blog.gont.com.ar/2013/06/lies-nuts-and-quest-for-atte...
- wpietri 13y ago
  Yeah, that's persuasive. My summary: "Women are hysterical! And the bitch is crazy! And there was alcohol! And you bad people shouldn't jump to conclusions. And I'm not going to contribute to the drama by addressing any of the accusations directly or making any factual statements, so instead I'll contribute to the drama by clutching my pearls and calling for the fainting couch about the shocking state of modern discourse. And also, I will make vague threats of suing people." Depressing. And ridiculous. She gave a detailed account of what happened, and has posted photos of her injuries. He didn't even bother to deny the accusations, let alone give his side of the story.
- chris_wot 13y ago
  So he accuses her of mental illness on one hand and complains of slander on the other. What a charmer.
skryl 13y ago
Thanks for writing this. If anyone else is ever in a similar situation, please do your best to get out of the room. Even if you think your attacker might be hurt and is no longer restraining you, just get out. Get out and THEN call someone. Knock on doors, whatever... if you don't have your phone. Staying put and waiting for the attacker to leave is a BAD idea, even if you get a chance to use a phone.

62 points by teaspoon 13y ago

ada1981 13y ago

Why not out the guy? at the very least, as warning to other people to be weary around him.

indrax 13y ago
Well, we have a lot of metadata...
wpietri 13y ago
She mentioned on Twitter that she's afraid of a lawsuit. Somebody told her it would be libel. I'm pretty sure that's not true in the US. But even if she would eventually win the lawsuit, they can still be ruinously expensive, so her fear could be justifiable. Anyhow, other people have outed the guy on Twitter. You can turn it up with a little rummaging. Several people have asked him for his side of the story, but there has been no reply as yet.

avmich 13y ago

Quite a direct story. And it's hard to find that line where further advancements suddenly become unwelcome. I guess the advice "know your limits" is what we have.

DennisP 13y ago
When someone screams "no" and bites you hard on the arm, that's a clue.
wpietri 13y ago
I don't think it's hard to know the line where further advances become unwelcome. I ask. It's surprisingly easy; you should try it.
- Chris2048 13y ago
  > you should try it Is that some kind of bad-faith accusation?
  - wpietri 13y ago
    "The wicked flee when no man pursueth." No, it was encouragement to try it.
    - Chris2048 13y ago
      and yet the word 'try' implies to me some other meaning. Why not try talking straight instead of abstractly?
      - wpietri 13y ago
        No, you infer some other meaning. That's all you. I meant what I said, and I said what I meant.
        chris_wot 13y ago
        Unfortunately, not everyone knows what you mean.
chris_wot 13y ago
If the other party says "no", "stop", "I'm not comfortable with this", or any number of other things like this, then you stop. Immediately.

indrax 13y ago

ETA: I agree with mvanveen's comment below. As Georgia says, her duty is done. My confusion should be taken as my own failure to relate. Our duty is to fix these problems. I'm confused by the attitude of (maybe I'm reading this wrong) "This is a big deal, not like that silly 'feminist' stuff" when everything wrong here (other than the attack itself) is subtle institutionalized sexism. They guy's a creeper, but he wasn't already outed and banned. The victim's story is questioned because of flirting/drinking/invitation/politeness She had to second-guess herself and worry about legalities during the attack. She's now afraid of sexist comments and still doesn't want to publicly name someone who is dangerous. (I'm not criticizing her choice per se, the problem is whatever is giving her reason not to identify him) It's easy to treat all of these as little things, but if the community had treated these issues as a big deal and dealt with them, maybe this attack wouldn't even have happened.

rogerbinns 13y ago
The real problem is what happens after an attack or disagreeable issue. Neither party can be sure of the "process", there will be conflicting stories, other factors, reactions from the less informed, societal norms, bias etc. If there was an expectation of a prompt rapid justice process then that would have been the solution, and it would certainly diminish future issues. Instead the poster has to consider if there would even be justice, how long it would take, if it would be reasonable/objective, comments from the peanut gallery etc. Hopefully societies will keep getting better at this.
mvanveen 13y ago
I am not "confused" by this attitude. Can we cut a victim some slack? I think asking her to take on that "subtle institutionalized sexism" is part of the reason she expressed qualms about publishing this in the first place. I think it took tremendous courage for the author to post this and I don't think it's fair to ask her to try and address all these issues with her tone. I think the fact we're more interested in analyzing the authors tone rather than sympathizing with a woman who DEFENDED HERSELF FROM RAPE and wasn't given sufficient support at a conference is maybe why she feels like she has to put out such a tone. Please don't misinterpret me and think I'm saying that dongle jokes are ok and that subtle, institutionalized sexism isn't a big deal. I just think we could do more to give people some safe space to express anecdotes like this, and that might help foster an atmosphere of discussion. Maybe then the next person who has the courage to come forward with an issue like this will feel empowered enough to talk about the cultural factors you're mentioning without needing to get on the defensive.

stc043 13y ago

This tweet has the info about the attacker. https://twitter.com/Packetknife/status/347136455459618818 https://twitter.com/Packetknife/status/347136455459618818

deleted 13y ago

[deleted]

mathattack 13y ago

We only know her side of the story, but it is still a very brave thing to write.

chris_wot 13y ago

That's fucking awful. On far too many levels. Right now I'm feeling very angry, I'm not going to write anything more other than to say: it doesn't matter what Georgia wore, it doesn't matter if she let that bastard into her room, it doesn't matter if she said something he might have construed as sexual. You don't rape women. Georgia did nothing wrong here. To say otherwise is disgusting, and if you think it you're a worm. Less than a worm actually.

chris_wot 13y ago

Two twit pics, to really ram this home: http://t.co/cUdy33pxbl http://t.co/cUdy33pxbl http://t.co/edOkjADKNB http://t.co/edOkjADKNB

Camillo 13y ago

How did the police react to the evidence of theft? Is there an investigation under way? Shouldn't the guy get charged with that, at the very least?

thehodge 13y ago

The response from the accused bloke - http://blog.gont.com.ar/2013/06/lies-nuts-and-quest-for-attention.html http://blog.gont.com.ar/2013/06/lies-nuts-and-quest-for-atte...

wpietri 13y ago
Yeah, that's persuasive. My summary: "Women are hysterical! And the bitch is crazy! And there was alcohol! And you bad people shouldn't jump to conclusions. And I'm not going to contribute to the drama by addressing any of the accusations directly or making any factual statements, so instead I'll contribute to the drama by clutching my pearls and calling for the fainting couch about the shocking state of modern discourse. And also, I will make vague threats of suing people." Depressing. And ridiculous. She gave a detailed account of what happened, and has posted photos of her injuries. He didn't even bother to deny the accusations, let alone give his side of the story.
chris_wot 13y ago
So he accuses her of mental illness on one hand and complains of slander on the other. What a charmer.

skryl 13y ago

Thanks for writing this. If anyone else is ever in a similar situation, please do your best to get out of the room. Even if you think your attacker might be hurt and is no longer restraining you, just get out. Get out and THEN call someone. Knock on doors, whatever... if you don't have your phone. Staying put and waiting for the attacker to leave is a BAD idea, even if you get a chance to use a phone.