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i think there are other factors involved also. e.g. in the first example, if he were to say "you should pay because..." instead of "I should pay because..." o

i think there are other factors involved also. e.g. in the first example, if he were to say "you should pay because..." instead of "I should pay because..." or in the second example, if he were to say the exact same thing but to a table full of his teenage son's friends at a birthday party vs saying it to a table full of professional acquaintances at a high profile event. i think the responses would probably be diferent.

hschenker 17y ago
Very good point - in the dinner examples, if the parties involved agree with the proposal, everyone involved "wins" in some form or another: The person paying builds up "you'll owe me later" points; the rest of the table saves money, at least in the short term. The people who've already been served get to eat immediately, which they probably want to do anyway; the others who haven't received their food yet can stop feeling guilty for stopping the others from eating. Overall, a whole lot of uncomfortableness is avoided by agreeing to the ridiculous reason. Compare that to the the territorial conflict example, in which one of the two parties wins nothing, and instead, loses something very important to them.