I am painfully aware of how much energy I expend trying to prop myself up above others. Whether I am delicately explaining how I would have done it differently

I am painfully aware of how much energy I expend trying to prop myself up above others. Whether I am delicately explaining how I would have done it differently or just fidgeting with my clothes to make myself look better in that place's light, I end up feeling like I'm acting fake. Maybe I am. Regardless, I think there's little we can do about it. Anytime I overcome the urge to make myself look better to the strangers around me, it is done through no small amount of conscious effort. It is so much easier to just give in to my genetic encoding and try to appear more fit than to make my existence easier.