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I have a fully built out couchsurfing profile but only stayed with someone once. I like to travel on short notice. I tried finding hosts with a few days notice

I have a fully built out couchsurfing profile but only stayed with someone once. I like to travel on short notice. I tried finding hosts with a few days notice in multiple cities but all of them said no. After I while I just gave up and stuck with hostels. I've met multiple women who had the opposite experience. They'd go somewhere with almost no notice and have multiple (male) hosts to choose from.

personlurking 13y ago
That's another problem: crossing all your T's but getting no response. My profile is complete, too, and I'd write personalized requests but almost never would get a response, much less a positive one. After writing about 100 requests over a few trips/years and getting 1-2 "yeses" and 3-4 "thanks but can't" responses, I stopped trying to be hosted.
reledi 13y ago
Don't be so quick to assume. You have a fully built out profile, but... - what do you mention in your profile? - how many photos do you have? - what are the photos of? - how many "friends" do you have? - have you been vouched for? - how many reviews do you have? - do you have any neutral or negative reviews? - what do the reviews say? - what does your personal surfing message say (the one you send out to potential hosts)? - how long have you been a member for? - have you verified yourself? and so on. Most people are also less likely to host someone if it's very short notice.
- hmsimha 13y ago
  I agree with all your points (long-time couchsurfer with 6 vouches, 42 references, all positive from an even mixture of hosts, surfers, and friends). However, I will say from personal experience, it seems that women have a much easier time getting responses on couchsurfing. I'm not saying it's more useful for women, just that men appear to be more likely to initiate interactions with women and respond to women. My best friend (who is female) and I just moved to Portland, OR, and both of us posted to the Portland couchsurfing group within a month of each other, with slightly different messages but a general theme of interest in meeting Portlanders. I received no responses, and she received 4 or 5 (all from men, who wanted to show her around, meet for coffee, let her know the good spots, etc). She has never hosted or surfed (except with me when I arranged it), and has only one positive reference, no vouches and a less than descriptive profile. I'm not even insinuating that these men all have ulterior motives. I believe that there are studies that have suggested that women are perceived as more approachable and less threatening than men, and that could be the principal at work. Regardless, I do think there is more to it than just faulty observations on the part of men who may be overlooking the completeness of their profile, though that is a possible contributor to these observations as well.
hmsimha 13y ago
Couchsurfing isn't just for finding hosts. Personally, as a long-time host I would choose to host people who seem to be more engaged with the community and have also hosted in the past, over someone who has a history of just surfing, any day. You didn't mention having hosted, which could be a big contributing factor in having a hard time finding a host (not trying to arrange hosting 1-3 weeks in advance may be another one). That being said, I agree with you that women on couchsurfing seem to have it much easier in many respects. However, to me, I let a CSer's history speak for itself. When people (male or female) have requested to surf with me in the past, there have only been a few times I've accepted if they hadn't hosted prior. It comes across badly to try to receive help from a community that you haven't shown an interest in contributing to.

personlurking 13y ago

That's another problem: crossing all your T's but getting no response. My profile is complete, too, and I'd write personalized requests but almost never would get a response, much less a positive one. After writing about 100 requests over a few trips/years and getting 1-2 "yeses" and 3-4 "thanks but can't" responses, I stopped trying to be hosted.

reledi 13y ago

Don't be so quick to assume. You have a fully built out profile, but... - what do you mention in your profile? - how many photos do you have? - what are the photos of? - how many "friends" do you have? - have you been vouched for? - how many reviews do you have? - do you have any neutral or negative reviews? - what do the reviews say? - what does your personal surfing message say (the one you send out to potential hosts)? - how long have you been a member for? - have you verified yourself? and so on. Most people are also less likely to host someone if it's very short notice.

hmsimha 13y ago
I agree with all your points (long-time couchsurfer with 6 vouches, 42 references, all positive from an even mixture of hosts, surfers, and friends). However, I will say from personal experience, it seems that women have a much easier time getting responses on couchsurfing. I'm not saying it's more useful for women, just that men appear to be more likely to initiate interactions with women and respond to women. My best friend (who is female) and I just moved to Portland, OR, and both of us posted to the Portland couchsurfing group within a month of each other, with slightly different messages but a general theme of interest in meeting Portlanders. I received no responses, and she received 4 or 5 (all from men, who wanted to show her around, meet for coffee, let her know the good spots, etc). She has never hosted or surfed (except with me when I arranged it), and has only one positive reference, no vouches and a less than descriptive profile. I'm not even insinuating that these men all have ulterior motives. I believe that there are studies that have suggested that women are perceived as more approachable and less threatening than men, and that could be the principal at work. Regardless, I do think there is more to it than just faulty observations on the part of men who may be overlooking the completeness of their profile, though that is a possible contributor to these observations as well.

hmsimha 13y ago

Couchsurfing isn't just for finding hosts. Personally, as a long-time host I would choose to host people who seem to be more engaged with the community and have also hosted in the past, over someone who has a history of just surfing, any day. You didn't mention having hosted, which could be a big contributing factor in having a hard time finding a host (not trying to arrange hosting 1-3 weeks in advance may be another one). That being said, I agree with you that women on couchsurfing seem to have it much easier in many respects. However, to me, I let a CSer's history speak for itself. When people (male or female) have requested to surf with me in the past, there have only been a few times I've accepted if they hadn't hosted prior. It comes across badly to try to receive help from a community that you haven't shown an interest in contributing to.