The only thing we always have is our reputation. I suggest that relying on others to be nice is a good way to lose it, and that knowing we didn't do the right t

The only thing we always have is our reputation. I suggest that relying on others to be nice is a good way to lose it, and that knowing we didn't do the right thing in a certain circumstance is also bad for our own self-esteem. If the poster would like a reputation as a nice guy - then sure, he could leave without saying much and hope that nobody says anything bad about him, or even remembers that he worked there. If he'd like a more proactive approach, then he could try to leave a reputation as a nice yet strong person, a competent person who was brave enough to try to help, but also polite enough to escalate it quietly. Imagine being were offered a job at Enron, or with Bernie Madoff, knowing what we know now. Who would take it? Who would steal away into the night if we found ourselves there? Who would first try to do something about it or at least document that we saw things were wrong and/or try to escalate? I would hope I would be firmly in this camp, trying to be someone who is unafraid to live to my own values, not those of others. To reply on the divorce example: A thoughtful discussion about why things are not working out between two partners is always in order, even after the divorce. We are all trying to learn. But just as the example of bad breath is not the root cause of a divorce, some of the symptoms in the original post are not the real problem.