GirlInCS: the guy who tried to retaliate against the offense he took should indeed get some strongly worded advice from someone in authority over him: he needs

GirlInCS: the guy who tried to retaliate against the offense he took should indeed get some strongly worded advice from someone in authority over him: he needs to deal people he doesn't like with more decorum (talking trash to his peers is just making people uncomfortable and making him look bad), and further, he should contemplate the understandable girls-in-CS tensions he probably wants to avoid aggravating in order to be liked in the community. Ultimately it's really up to him if he wants to like you and to be fair to women in CS. You're probably right that he has a "bossy-"woman chip on his shoulder. But it doesn't seem proportional to address this as "what should I do as a leader of a WICS organization" (as you allude to with the case of Adria Richards, that's unproductive business). I know it's uncomfortable, but what I'd like to see happen is: when someone is insulted in front of a group of people, the offender is reprimanded appropriately in front of those people. Let's assume that you face more bristling than a man would when you directly exercise authority (safe bet). Let's even say that it's even worse in CS than society in general (I think the contrary, actually). Then it would be great to tell the guy that while it's understandable that he felt disrespected (be charitable!) that when you hear stuff like this, and you hear it more often than a man would in the same situation, the effect is worse than he realizes, that you don't want gender to be an issue, etc. etc. I don't think the use of the word "bitch" should make much of a difference, although I know it triggers associations of other sexism. It's just too commonplace to read any specific intent other than "I don't like this person". I don't think the authority figure you escalated to is anything other than a selfish conflict-avoider, like we all are sometimes.