Dear person, please lead the following statement as if it were written the most possible respect, humility and grace: Your post is laughable, because we cannot

Dear person, please lead the following statement as if it were written the most possible respect, humility and grace: Your post is laughable, because we cannot take you seriously, since you ate about 8 months behind the rest of us on terms of evolution. The way you should have done it is by slaughtering a unicorn and drinking its blood out of a hollowed rhino horn, which is also illegal to obtain, so essentially my post is completely stupid, irrelevant and misses the point by such a magnitude that the statement is in a completely different planetary system. However, I will remain ignorant of this. Oh, not to mention, I believe everyone loves reading my long, obnoxious walls of text. ^ Posts like those? :D