4 ms·

trivia night Just to bring a personal anecdote why meals are less problematic: Trivia night would be the fastest way to push me away. I hate made up, faked up

by stfu 13y ago

trivia night Just to bring a personal anecdote why meals are less problematic: Trivia night would be the fastest way to push me away. I hate made up, faked up bonding events that have no other intention than to force me in a social gathering. At least try coming up with something creative, e.g. Lego night or something like that.

hello_newman 13y ago
I totally agree. I get incredibly uncomfortable in those situations. Forced small talk, fake/made up emotions and laughs, awkward moments, and perceived camaraderie that is really just superficial. The bitch about it is, you can't say that to anyone or you sound anti-social. My skin crawls when I think about being forced to go to a "mixer" or a "meet up" or something like that. Growing up in a family where I was the only boy with 3 sisters (girls, of course, being known as the more "social" sex) and a mother who seemed to make friends with everyone, I am still scarred with flashes of awkward moments that happened years ago.
rdl 13y ago
I think there's value in bonding events, but they should be bottom-up -- the team should just pick things they collectively enjoy doing and do those. There are also plenty of things I enjoy doing which I wouldn't want to do with coworkers, for EoE/HR/etc. reasons. Or just because they're not particularly inclusive; if you have a team with a few 22 year old Mormons, a 45 year old ex-hippie, some bikers, "normal nerds", etc., the favorite activities of each aren't likely to overlap, but some kind of mutually fun things still probably exist. Meals are a pretty easy bet on a safe activity, modulo religious/dietary restrictions.
- jacques_chester 13y ago
  Steve McConnell says Microsoft units were given morale budgets and expected to spend it. On anything. Rent a movie theatre for the team to watch a new movie. Buy a candyfloss machine. Pretty much anything.

by stfu 13y ago

hello_newman 13y ago

I totally agree. I get incredibly uncomfortable in those situations. Forced small talk, fake/made up emotions and laughs, awkward moments, and perceived camaraderie that is really just superficial. The bitch about it is, you can't say that to anyone or you sound anti-social. My skin crawls when I think about being forced to go to a "mixer" or a "meet up" or something like that. Growing up in a family where I was the only boy with 3 sisters (girls, of course, being known as the more "social" sex) and a mother who seemed to make friends with everyone, I am still scarred with flashes of awkward moments that happened years ago.

rdl 13y ago

I think there's value in bonding events, but they should be bottom-up -- the team should just pick things they collectively enjoy doing and do those. There are also plenty of things I enjoy doing which I wouldn't want to do with coworkers, for EoE/HR/etc. reasons. Or just because they're not particularly inclusive; if you have a team with a few 22 year old Mormons, a 45 year old ex-hippie, some bikers, "normal nerds", etc., the favorite activities of each aren't likely to overlap, but some kind of mutually fun things still probably exist. Meals are a pretty easy bet on a safe activity, modulo religious/dietary restrictions.

jacques_chester 13y ago
Steve McConnell says Microsoft units were given morale budgets and expected to spend it. On anything. Rent a movie theatre for the team to watch a new movie. Buy a candyfloss machine. Pretty much anything.