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That night marked the beginning of a transformation for the battalion of soldiers. ... Sleepy midnight chow became a teeming communion of comrades ... In this

by dmckeon 13y ago

That night marked the beginning of a transformation for the battalion of soldiers. ... Sleepy midnight chow became a teeming communion of comrades ... In this case a meal was the center of a transformation, but could another popular shared recurring activity have worked? Say, for startups, a game room, or a pizza and trivia night?

weisser 13y ago
Those are far more structured forms of socialization. Food causes people to sit down and face each other as they eat but aside from that they can talk about whatever they want to.
stfu 13y ago
trivia night Just to bring a personal anecdote why meals are less problematic: Trivia night would be the fastest way to push me away. I hate made up, faked up bonding events that have no other intention than to force me in a social gathering. At least try coming up with something creative, e.g. Lego night or something like that.
- hello_newman 13y ago
  I totally agree. I get incredibly uncomfortable in those situations. Forced small talk, fake/made up emotions and laughs, awkward moments, and perceived camaraderie that is really just superficial. The bitch about it is, you can't say that to anyone or you sound anti-social. My skin crawls when I think about being forced to go to a "mixer" or a "meet up" or something like that. Growing up in a family where I was the only boy with 3 sisters (girls, of course, being known as the more "social" sex) and a mother who seemed to make friends with everyone, I am still scarred with flashes of awkward moments that happened years ago.
- rdl 13y ago
  I think there's value in bonding events, but they should be bottom-up -- the team should just pick things they collectively enjoy doing and do those. There are also plenty of things I enjoy doing which I wouldn't want to do with coworkers, for EoE/HR/etc. reasons. Or just because they're not particularly inclusive; if you have a team with a few 22 year old Mormons, a 45 year old ex-hippie, some bikers, "normal nerds", etc., the favorite activities of each aren't likely to overlap, but some kind of mutually fun things still probably exist. Meals are a pretty easy bet on a safe activity, modulo religious/dietary restrictions.
  - jacques_chester 13y ago
    Steve McConnell says Microsoft units were given morale budgets and expected to spend it. On anything. Rent a movie theatre for the team to watch a new movie. Buy a candyfloss machine. Pretty much anything.

by dmckeon 13y ago

weisser 13y ago

Those are far more structured forms of socialization. Food causes people to sit down and face each other as they eat but aside from that they can talk about whatever they want to.

stfu 13y ago

trivia night Just to bring a personal anecdote why meals are less problematic: Trivia night would be the fastest way to push me away. I hate made up, faked up bonding events that have no other intention than to force me in a social gathering. At least try coming up with something creative, e.g. Lego night or something like that.

hello_newman 13y ago
I totally agree. I get incredibly uncomfortable in those situations. Forced small talk, fake/made up emotions and laughs, awkward moments, and perceived camaraderie that is really just superficial. The bitch about it is, you can't say that to anyone or you sound anti-social. My skin crawls when I think about being forced to go to a "mixer" or a "meet up" or something like that. Growing up in a family where I was the only boy with 3 sisters (girls, of course, being known as the more "social" sex) and a mother who seemed to make friends with everyone, I am still scarred with flashes of awkward moments that happened years ago.
rdl 13y ago
I think there's value in bonding events, but they should be bottom-up -- the team should just pick things they collectively enjoy doing and do those. There are also plenty of things I enjoy doing which I wouldn't want to do with coworkers, for EoE/HR/etc. reasons. Or just because they're not particularly inclusive; if you have a team with a few 22 year old Mormons, a 45 year old ex-hippie, some bikers, "normal nerds", etc., the favorite activities of each aren't likely to overlap, but some kind of mutually fun things still probably exist. Meals are a pretty easy bet on a safe activity, modulo religious/dietary restrictions.
- jacques_chester 13y ago
  Steve McConnell says Microsoft units were given morale budgets and expected to spend it. On anything. Rent a movie theatre for the team to watch a new movie. Buy a candyfloss machine. Pretty much anything.