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My pain is not linked to anything except stress and barometric pressure. I have been diagnosed chronic migraines (a diagnosis I do not really agree with) and ch

by Rhapso 13y ago

My pain is not linked to anything except stress and barometric pressure. I have been diagnosed chronic migraines (a diagnosis I do not really agree with) and chronic sinusitis. When I was 16 a classmate with whom I had a disagreement with saw fit to smash my face between his fist and a wall I was backed up against. This scarred my sinuses and two surgeries to attempt to fix it have failed (and they can't safely try again). In addition I suffer from something resembling a migraine, I say resembling because it has not stopped for the last 6 years (migraines are suppose to come and go, this just changes in intensity. My current theory as to the cause of my "migraines" is I have a sensory processing disorder, but according the the DSM I need to also be autistic to have sensory processing disorder (of which I only have the symptoms that overlap with being a programmer and academic and thus it does not make a lot of sense) The first few years of these pains were exactly like you described. I was constantly suffering and it was breaking me down. I was mostly non-functioning and barely able to keep up with high-school. After three years of nonstop pain I realized my life was not going to go anywhere until I had made some changes. I decided I was going to strive to not suffer from my pain. That is an impossible challenge. It is not 'coping' per say, as I do not hurt any less but it is coping in the sense that I decided to put on the strong facade of not hurting to the majority of the world. I've been neurologists, on multiple medications. The few medications that did work (Topimerate for example) lessened and even stopped the migraines, but with bad cognitive effects (short term memory issues and shortening of my attention span). Right now I am unmedicated and working on my PhD. My end solution to the pain is to work so much that I don't have much energy left for suffering. It's not fun, but it is better then wallowing and I'll take that.

klibertp 13y ago
The downvote caused me to think, and I wanted to apologize if my post sounded arrogant. What I meant is that, while I understand what you're saying and it's very good that you've been able to win against your pain, there are pains that are on god-mode and impossible to beat or ignore, or even to cope with. My polyneuropathy is one of things like this - I was able to put a strong facade for five years, until it worsened to the point where I couldn't anymore. And that was just the beginning, because it went downhill from there. It's good to be "strong", but it's stupid to be stubborn and when the pain becomes too much taking medications is the right way. Even if you become a bit dumber because of them. At least that's what I did and having felt relief I can't imagine suffering once more like that. I have nightmares about that.
- Rhapso 13y ago
  You are right, that there is no "winning" only fighting to stay in the game. A few years ago I was researching diseases that could be causing my type of pain. Neuropathy was something I knew I did not have, but reading about it gave me a bit of confidence. It was one of the few chronic pain issues I deemed clearly "worse off than me" and the fact there were people without it out there leading productive lives gave me a lot of encouragement that I could do it myself.

by Rhapso 13y ago

klibertp 13y ago

The downvote caused me to think, and I wanted to apologize if my post sounded arrogant. What I meant is that, while I understand what you're saying and it's very good that you've been able to win against your pain, there are pains that are on god-mode and impossible to beat or ignore, or even to cope with. My polyneuropathy is one of things like this - I was able to put a strong facade for five years, until it worsened to the point where I couldn't anymore. And that was just the beginning, because it went downhill from there. It's good to be "strong", but it's stupid to be stubborn and when the pain becomes too much taking medications is the right way. Even if you become a bit dumber because of them. At least that's what I did and having felt relief I can't imagine suffering once more like that. I have nightmares about that.

Rhapso 13y ago
You are right, that there is no "winning" only fighting to stay in the game. A few years ago I was researching diseases that could be causing my type of pain. Neuropathy was something I knew I did not have, but reading about it gave me a bit of confidence. It was one of the few chronic pain issues I deemed clearly "worse off than me" and the fact there were people without it out there leading productive lives gave me a lot of encouragement that I could do it myself.