We will never change to the metric system because then we would have to call football "Approximately-One-Third-Meter-Ball". The field would have to be measured

We will never change to the metric system because then we would have to call football "Approximately-One-Third-Meter-Ball". The field would have to be measured in meters - 91.44 meters. A first down would have to be 9.144 meters, and I don't think they could measure it that accurately with those orange cones and chains. And finally, soccer would finally become properly known as football, and all hell would break loose among the more hardcore formerly-known-as-football fans. :)