Randy Pausch, the Carnegie professor known for The Last Lecture, once expressed a brilliant way one of his mentors talked to him about being a jerk: "And he pu

Randy Pausch, the Carnegie professor known for The Last Lecture, once expressed a brilliant way one of his mentors talked to him about being a jerk: "And he put his arm around my shoulders and we went for a little walk and he said, Randy, it’s such a shame that people perceive you as so arrogant. Because it’s going to limit what you’re going to be able to accomplish in life. What a hell of a way to word “you’re being a jerk.” [laughter] Right? He doesn’t say you’re a jerk. He says people are perceiving you this way and he says the downside is it’s going to limit what you’re going to be able to accomplish." I always think it would be interesting if that approach could be abstracted into a tool for online community 'civility management'. Could the upvote/downvote approach be amended? Could there be another upvote option for civility? A button to remind people to relax and take the angst somewhere else? I don't know. The best approach might be far removed from the users-as-voters paradigm.