4 ms·

i can't think of a better way to turn a woman off and make her take advantage of you than her knowing you paid for the 'privilege' of taking her out. you might

i can't think of a better way to turn a woman off and make her take advantage of you than her knowing you paid for the 'privilege' of taking her out. you might as well show up with the word 'sucker' tattooed on your forehead. guys, it's 2013. if you're buying things like fancy nights out and nice dinners before you even kiss the girl, the joke's on you. also, if you're buying drinks for strangers OUTSIDE the context of an actual "drink date", the joke is also on you.

blairbeckwith 13y ago
Is it possible that the joke's not really on anybody? Is it possible that different strokes really ARE for different folks?
jmtame 13y ago
Online dating is a huge time sink though. You not only need to setup a profile, you have to actively find and message girls. The finding part is interesting because all dating sites lie to their users--80 years and 400 studies reliably show algorithms cannot predict romantic compatibility. I spent a good 6 months doing this, and the time I put into it wasn't justified. Maybe the joke was on me. I'm now happily dating a girl from an app I created because I was so frustrated with everything else out there. I don't think the girl is going to frame it the way you are thinking about it. She won't be thinking "he paid $50 so he could hang out with me," she's going to be thinking "I am looking for some sign of income/stability (check) and his time must be valuable because he isn't spending it courting girls online." I'm sure it's inevitable and certain types of girls may think about it the way you've described, but when you have identity tied to everything, you can eliminate those matches from the system. You never give or receive feedback on traditional dates, it's just a black box. It goes back to how well the matchmaker does and what the person is looking for. That's how the matchmaker is reviewed by the user.
- beachstartup 13y ago
  you know, you can ask girls out in real life.
  - jmtame 13y ago
    I don't understand why you're automatically implying that I haven't; I have.
    - anotherbadlogin 13y ago
      He didn't imply that; you're reading it in.
  - blairbeckwith 13y ago
    You know, this service is in the online dating space.
sp332 13y ago
Where do you live? You can't assume the 300,000,000 people in the USA all have the same drinking and/or dating customs.
- deleted 13y ago
  [deleted]
barry-cotter 13y ago
There are large swathes of the world that are neither saturated with this particular feminist shibboleth nor part of the PUA subcultue. If your time is valuable and you consider the money a trivial amount it can be worth it. If the marginal female user of this app is not much of a bar/club goer even more so.
- beachstartup 13y ago
  the problem is buying dinner/things before a relationship sets up the expectation of a reciprocation in the buyer's head. and it's VERY DIFFICULT to get that expectation out of one's head, and it manifests in very unattractive behavior (either entitlement or neediness).
  - jmtame 13y ago
    That's fair. Will you try it out if we remove the free drinks for you and give you a free Uber ride instead?
realdlee 13y ago
This thought didn't occur to me at all when I read the TC article. In many cases, time > money and if this service actually does a better job, then they could be on to something.

blairbeckwith 13y ago

Is it possible that the joke's not really on anybody? Is it possible that different strokes really ARE for different folks?

jmtame 13y ago

Online dating is a huge time sink though. You not only need to setup a profile, you have to actively find and message girls. The finding part is interesting because all dating sites lie to their users--80 years and 400 studies reliably show algorithms cannot predict romantic compatibility. I spent a good 6 months doing this, and the time I put into it wasn't justified. Maybe the joke was on me. I'm now happily dating a girl from an app I created because I was so frustrated with everything else out there. I don't think the girl is going to frame it the way you are thinking about it. She won't be thinking "he paid $50 so he could hang out with me," she's going to be thinking "I am looking for some sign of income/stability (check) and his time must be valuable because he isn't spending it courting girls online." I'm sure it's inevitable and certain types of girls may think about it the way you've described, but when you have identity tied to everything, you can eliminate those matches from the system. You never give or receive feedback on traditional dates, it's just a black box. It goes back to how well the matchmaker does and what the person is looking for. That's how the matchmaker is reviewed by the user.

beachstartup 13y ago
you know, you can ask girls out in real life.
- jmtame 13y ago
  I don't understand why you're automatically implying that I haven't; I have.
  - anotherbadlogin 13y ago
    He didn't imply that; you're reading it in.
- blairbeckwith 13y ago
  You know, this service is in the online dating space.

sp332 13y ago

Where do you live? You can't assume the 300,000,000 people in the USA all have the same drinking and/or dating customs.

deleted 13y ago
[deleted]

barry-cotter 13y ago

There are large swathes of the world that are neither saturated with this particular feminist shibboleth nor part of the PUA subcultue. If your time is valuable and you consider the money a trivial amount it can be worth it. If the marginal female user of this app is not much of a bar/club goer even more so.

beachstartup 13y ago
the problem is buying dinner/things before a relationship sets up the expectation of a reciprocation in the buyer's head. and it's VERY DIFFICULT to get that expectation out of one's head, and it manifests in very unattractive behavior (either entitlement or neediness).
- jmtame 13y ago
  That's fair. Will you try it out if we remove the free drinks for you and give you a free Uber ride instead?

realdlee 13y ago

This thought didn't occur to me at all when I read the TC article. In many cases, time > money and if this service actually does a better job, then they could be on to something.