"if the context is what makes it such an outrage. I suspect it is the latter, which leads me to wonder if there may be some sort of double standard in the kinds

"if the context is what makes it such an outrage. I suspect it is the latter, which leads me to wonder if there may be some sort of double standard in the kinds of vulgarity one can casually employ" You wonder whether words spoken in varying contexts can carry various meanings? That's not a particularly wild guess. Yes, words mean different things coming from and to different people.