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IMO, you should parent your children until they go off to University. They live under your roof and need to follow your rules. If they do not follow your rules
by gradstudent 13y ago
IMO, you should parent your children until they go off to University. They live under your roof and need to follow your rules. If they do not follow your rules they need to argue their case in a rational adult manner and to your satisfaction. If they cannot and act like petulant children you need to treat them as such; i.e. tell them to shut the hell up and eat their dogfood.
I don't care that the same arguments could be applied to adults. Adults are grown individuals who by virtue of their age have earned their right to be bone-headed and make stupid choices. As a parent all you can do is try to instill in your children values that prevent them from turning into boneheads.
Clear enough?
- jiggy2011 13y agoIs the child being a "bonehead" if they decide they don't enjoy the violin and would prefer to play clarinet or percussion instead?
- gradstudent 13y agoYou're putting words in my mouth. I only argued in favour of mandatory exposure to a broad range of activities, including musical instruments. The precise instrument probably doesn't matter but. I would prefer e.g. a piano or clarinet over a guitar or drums but hey, whatever. Just learn some music theory!
- jiggy2011 13y agoYou said that you agreed with the list, the list explicitly says "nothing apart from piano or violin".
- gradstudent 13y agoI pretty much do? I definitely have some strong personal biases toward particular instruments and not others and I would push for those. Asking a kid to choose a music instrument yields a decision every bit as informed as rolling a dice. Why bother?
- eatitraw 13y ago> Asking a kid to choose a music instrument yields a decision every bit as informed as rolling a dice. Except that is his own decision. > Why bother? Because a kid is a separate person, not an extension of your personality.
- gradstudent 13y agoI don't know if your comment is a troll or if you're simply dim. I assume troll. Still, I'll bite: The relationship between a parent and child is not a democratic one. As a parent you have a responsibility to make choices for your child until they can make them for themselves. I do not agree with letting kids decide which developmental activities they will or will not partake in or how they will do so. Is that clear enough for you, sunshine?
- jiggy2011 13y agoSurely the kid can choose an instrument on the basis of the one that they like the sound of or even what seems 'cool'. They will probably have more motivation to study something that they have chosen themselves even if it is for fairly superficial reasons. It's not like there is an objective way to choose a "better" instrument anyway since half of the fun is playing with others who use different instruments.
- gradstudent 13y agoSo why not, as a parent, present a set of options that seem reasonable to you and have them choose amongst those? i.e. you can play one of e.g. {piano, violin, clarinet}. When the child is better informed, they can choose for themselves. Until that point comes though, asking children to make arbitrary choices, particularly ones that affect their development, seems silly to me.
- jiggy2011 13y agoSurely the choice is basically arbitrary anyway? Why would it affect their development if they picked say a trumpet, guitar or flute instead? They can always pick up a different instrument later. It would be like if a kid wanted to learn python and you said "no! you must learn Java instead".