6 ms·

Wow, what a beautifully written and illustrated piece. However, I gave up counting the number of times I read about life being "meaningless". The author is mor

by ak39 13y ago

Wow, what a beautifully written and illustrated piece. However, I gave up counting the number of times I read about life being "meaningless". The author is more likely suffering from an existential crisis than actually being clincially depressed. He/she is searching for meaning. To feel. Reading some mid 20th century French philosophy might help here. Clinical depression? Boy, that's another ball game altogether. That type of shyte won't result in a beautifully animated and elegantly worded blog. :-/

GuiA 13y ago
I'm clinically depressed, and have been for pretty much all of my adult life. It's much stronger at some times than others. A recent "peak" is when I had a panic attack in downtown San Francisco at a concert last Friday night that lasted 2 hours or so and rendered me unable to function in a room full of people and loud noises. It was awful. I've heard arguments similar to yours many times. I've tried mid-20th century French philosophy, and do appreciate it. But it doesn't help. Depression manifests itself differently in different people. There isn't a "correct" form of depression. Telling people that "you're not depressed, you're X, do Y and all will be OK" doesn't help at all. You probably mean well, but making those sort of comments do everything but what you think they do.
- ak39 13y ago
  I do not intend to downplay the anxiety and the emotional pain of the experience either you or the the OP had. I empathise completely. I myself have gone and continue to go through such "crises" regularly. I feel just as much. My point was: it's ironic that the author talks about the lack of interest in the aesthetic of "life" and the general disinterest in the veritable cornucopia of little toy horse plays around us when he/she did EXACTLY that by writing a lovely, beautiful and well-crafted blog. (I am not being sarcastic.) Doesn't anyone see the beauty and irony in that? Does clinical depression create such works of art? If so, we should celebrate it as a gift!
  - kolinko 13y ago
    The author of the blog went silent for the past two years because of the depression, and now she got back to drawing because she feels (at least temporarily) better.
  - StevenRayOrr 13y ago
    You seem earnest, so I am going to try not to be frustrated, but depression is not a gift that results in creative genius. People who manage to struggle through it and create art are doing it despite their disease and not because of it. The romanticism that is attached to the suffering artist is incredibly frustrating and, I think, dangerous. It leads people to believe that it is okay or worthwhile or noble to let this illness rule over you. We don't celebrate cancer or dementia or schizophrenia as "gifts". Sometimes people suffering from those illnesses are able to create beautiful works, but we don't romanticize their diseases because of it. Why would/should we do that with depression?
    - bgilroy26 13y ago
      I agree with you, but just as a counterpoint, Dostoevsky valued his seizures because of the insight filled "halo" state that he would enter into before they came.
    - Jasber 13y ago
      I agree with almost everything you said, except for this: > People who manage to struggle through it and create art are doing it despite their disease and not because of it. While depression can hurt creativity––bi-polar disorder and schizophrenia can actually help it[1]. The discussion has mainly been around depression, but I think the "suffering artist" label can apply to a range of disorders. [1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creativity_and_mental_illness http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creativity_and_mental_illness
  - Vivtek 13y ago
    Did you read her backlog? You know, before she was clinically depressed?
- jasonlotito 13y ago
  > Depression manifests itself differently in different people. Sure, but just because someone says they are depressed doesn't make them so. And that belittles people who really are depressed as opposed to those simply bored with life. None of this is to say that depression is the same for everyone. I have 2 children with Autism, and I myself have been recently diagnosed with 2 conditions. It's scary, but it makes me appreciate the danger in abusing terms like depression. This is all a way of saying that I hope everyone posting here saying they are depressed or that deal with depression seek help. There is no reason not to get help. Yes, it's scary. Sometimes you'll go in to find out what's wrong, and guess what? You learn you have something else to contend with as well! But at least you know, and awareness is important.
  - coroxout 13y ago
    I absolutely agree with your last paragraph: seek help. However, I find "just because someone says they are depressed doesn't make them so. And that belittles people who really are depressed" a dangerous attitude with regards to that. When I was younger I was quite seriously depressed but I didn't seek help for ages because I'd heard people say "oh, depression isn't just feeling sad, you shouldn't use the word depression lightly". I thought maybe I was just being stupid and lazy because I probably wasn't a special enough flower to have this mystical thing. I should really have looked for help a lot sooner. So, if you're having problems, don't worry about what they are or aren't called or what other people say - look for any help you can find.
    - jasonlotito 13y ago
      I disagree. By allowing people to use the word depression to mean "sad" or "upset" or "pissed" or "bored," or whatever word they replace it with, we are doing those with depression more harm. If someone says they are depressed, we should tell them they need to get diagnosed. Treating it less than it is, I think, does more harm. > I should really have looked for help a lot sooner. But you didn't, precisely because people use the word far too lightly far too often.
      - 13y ago
knowtheory 13y ago
> The author is more likely suffering from an existential crisis than actually being clincially depressed. Could you please further explain what distinction you are trying to draw here? Because it sounds an awful lot like you're trying to downplay how the author feels, which is in fact exactly what she has gone to some pains to express.
masklinn 13y ago
> However, I gave up counting the number of times I read about life being "meaningless". The author is more likely suffering from an existential crisis than actually being clincially depressed. The post sums up the author's last 2 years, the author's previous post on the subject was http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.be/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.be/2011/10/adventures-in-d..., the author posted this because the author has managed to start the process of dealing with the problem and because the author's fans, readers and online friends have been worrying about the author. And you're an asshole, I urge you to go fuck yourself post-haste.
- ak39 13y ago
  Please stop worrying about the author! No, really. She's doing fine. She got up in the morning determined to complete her blog. She has found purpose and meaning in her life! Finally!
  - mikecane 13y ago
    "See? Don't worry about that person over there you thought was drowning. She managed to bob her head above the surface of the water. She'll be OK." "But she can't swim." "She'll grow out of that."
    - ak39 13y ago
      You call that bobbing her head above water? Those painstakingly-crafted vivid and lucid illustrations, the careful wordsmithing of the humorous writing (which I admit I did very much enjoy) and the coherent reference to the tragedy of hopelessness are all a celebration of the fact that her life without meaning is in fact only meaningful in recognising that it is all bullshit (her words)! Don't you see, she is FULLY emancipated? Bobbing? No. I'd call it a masterful butterfly with an underwater turn then completed with an equally audacious lap of breast stroke with perfect form!
      - svachalek 13y ago
InclinedPlane 13y ago
You don't seem to be aware, the author basically stopped updating her blog and essentially fell off the face of the internet almost 2 years ago. It was so disconcerting that last year many people became concerned about her wellbeing and tried to track her down, eventually learning that she was "ok" but working "through" her depression. This has been the first update of her blog/comic since then.
pja 13y ago
Did you somehow miss the fact that the author didn't make a single blog post for 18 months?
mistercow 13y ago
>That type of shyte won't result in a beautifully animated and elegantly worded blog. :-/ The beautifully illustrated blog is post treatment.
- outworlder 13y ago
  From her previous post: > "I've been working on it for the better part of a year (partly because I wanted to get it exactly right, and partly because I was still experiencing it while attempting to explain it, which made things weird), and I'm relieved and excited and scared to finally be able to post it. " So that took about a year to make, on and off.
Millennium 13y ago
>However, I gave up counting the number of times I read about life being "meaningless". The author is more likely suffering from an existential crisis than actually being clincially depressed. He/she is searching for meaning. To feel. Reading some mid 20th century French philosophy might help here. I'd suspect a "simple" existential crisis if this had lasted for two weeks. Two years is a much different beast: that's no simple funk. It might indeed have started off as an existential crisis, but it became something very different.
ygxa 13y ago
Honest question - did you give up counting, or give up finishing the comic at all? She stopped creating these comics and fell off of the face of the internet for two years. She was eventually able to come back and share her experiences after getting professional treatment and taking prescription medication for some period of time. Your post is along the same lines as many of the people shown in the piece (substitute philosophy for yoga while watching the sun rise, "I know exactly how you feel, but you should just <x>", etc.) It's also incredibly condescending to trivialize two years of debilitating clinical depression as a little bit of Sartre-deficiency because she was eventually able to come back after getting on psychoactive medication. I'm also not sure if you'e aware that feelings of meaninglessness and purposelessness are common in clinical depression. Your other posts are even worse, as if depression is a gift (seriously?) to creative people so they can angst up a bit and play the tragic, misunderstood, tortured artist. Or even more callously, because it's entertaining for other people (my father was clinically depressed - it's not.) Clearly you don't "empathize completely" and your suggestion that you've gone through "such crises" yourself is presumptuous and insulting, as if gripping with nihilism now and again makes you qualified to diagnose (and undiagnose!) mental disorders in other people - of course, if you have had to undergo prolonged therapy or take SSRI's daily, please do correct me. I'm assuming that you mean well, but your attitude is cavalier and you don't seem to have thought too much about anything you've said here.
- ak39 13y ago
  > Honest question - did you give up counting, > or give up finishing the comic at all? Honest answer: I gave up finishing the comic. It became tiring to stomach. I truly felt that the piece actually insults and undermines clinical depression. That's of course my opinion.
  - ygxa 13y ago
    Then you probably didn't read to the part where she only came back after seeing psychiatrists (read: not just some smug guy who's into absurdism), being diagnosed with clinical depression, and getting medication. The comic was tiring to stomach - hey mister, what happened to depression being a gift that creates beauty? - because depression is tiring to stomach, because it's not a now-and-again, masturbatory, recreational musing into the meaning of it all you indulge in over some Camus. She has gotten better enough to create this comic, after getting medication and professional help. Again, after two years of not creating anything before she started treatment. I'm not sure why you think you're more qualified to determine if somebody was depressed by half-reading a comic they made after getting medicated than professionals she spoke to at length, while she was depressed, in the process of getting diagnosed, treated, and trying medication. I suspect you're not very self-aware. You may find it useful to ask yourself, "which is more likely: a hilarious, talented artist stopped enjoying things she loves, quit creating, left the internet and isolated herself, went through the painful and difficult process of trying to explain what she was going through to others, went to doctors, got incorrectly diagnosed, and started medication with very serious side-effects because she doesn't get the Myth of Sisyphus, or...someone with no medical training who didn't even RTFA ran his mouth presumptuously about a stranger's mental health and got it wrong." Or indeed, "who better knows what clinical depression is like - somebody who exhibited the symptoms of depression for two years before getting professionally diagnosed and medicated and the doctors who diagnosed her, or some guy who totally thinks about philosophy sometimes and stuff." Things to mull over. Your opinion is embarrassing, and you should feel embarrassed.

by ak39 13y ago

GuiA 13y ago

I'm clinically depressed, and have been for pretty much all of my adult life. It's much stronger at some times than others. A recent "peak" is when I had a panic attack in downtown San Francisco at a concert last Friday night that lasted 2 hours or so and rendered me unable to function in a room full of people and loud noises. It was awful. I've heard arguments similar to yours many times. I've tried mid-20th century French philosophy, and do appreciate it. But it doesn't help. Depression manifests itself differently in different people. There isn't a "correct" form of depression. Telling people that "you're not depressed, you're X, do Y and all will be OK" doesn't help at all. You probably mean well, but making those sort of comments do everything but what you think they do.

ak39 13y ago
I do not intend to downplay the anxiety and the emotional pain of the experience either you or the the OP had. I empathise completely. I myself have gone and continue to go through such "crises" regularly. I feel just as much. My point was: it's ironic that the author talks about the lack of interest in the aesthetic of "life" and the general disinterest in the veritable cornucopia of little toy horse plays around us when he/she did EXACTLY that by writing a lovely, beautiful and well-crafted blog. (I am not being sarcastic.) Doesn't anyone see the beauty and irony in that? Does clinical depression create such works of art? If so, we should celebrate it as a gift!
- kolinko 13y ago
  The author of the blog went silent for the past two years because of the depression, and now she got back to drawing because she feels (at least temporarily) better.
- StevenRayOrr 13y ago
  You seem earnest, so I am going to try not to be frustrated, but depression is not a gift that results in creative genius. People who manage to struggle through it and create art are doing it despite their disease and not because of it. The romanticism that is attached to the suffering artist is incredibly frustrating and, I think, dangerous. It leads people to believe that it is okay or worthwhile or noble to let this illness rule over you. We don't celebrate cancer or dementia or schizophrenia as "gifts". Sometimes people suffering from those illnesses are able to create beautiful works, but we don't romanticize their diseases because of it. Why would/should we do that with depression?
  - bgilroy26 13y ago
    I agree with you, but just as a counterpoint, Dostoevsky valued his seizures because of the insight filled "halo" state that he would enter into before they came.
  - Jasber 13y ago
    I agree with almost everything you said, except for this: > People who manage to struggle through it and create art are doing it despite their disease and not because of it. While depression can hurt creativity––bi-polar disorder and schizophrenia can actually help it[1]. The discussion has mainly been around depression, but I think the "suffering artist" label can apply to a range of disorders. [1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creativity_and_mental_illness http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creativity_and_mental_illness
- Vivtek 13y ago
  Did you read her backlog? You know, before she was clinically depressed?
jasonlotito 13y ago
> Depression manifests itself differently in different people. Sure, but just because someone says they are depressed doesn't make them so. And that belittles people who really are depressed as opposed to those simply bored with life. None of this is to say that depression is the same for everyone. I have 2 children with Autism, and I myself have been recently diagnosed with 2 conditions. It's scary, but it makes me appreciate the danger in abusing terms like depression. This is all a way of saying that I hope everyone posting here saying they are depressed or that deal with depression seek help. There is no reason not to get help. Yes, it's scary. Sometimes you'll go in to find out what's wrong, and guess what? You learn you have something else to contend with as well! But at least you know, and awareness is important.
- coroxout 13y ago
  I absolutely agree with your last paragraph: seek help. However, I find "just because someone says they are depressed doesn't make them so. And that belittles people who really are depressed" a dangerous attitude with regards to that. When I was younger I was quite seriously depressed but I didn't seek help for ages because I'd heard people say "oh, depression isn't just feeling sad, you shouldn't use the word depression lightly". I thought maybe I was just being stupid and lazy because I probably wasn't a special enough flower to have this mystical thing. I should really have looked for help a lot sooner. So, if you're having problems, don't worry about what they are or aren't called or what other people say - look for any help you can find.
  - jasonlotito 13y ago
    I disagree. By allowing people to use the word depression to mean "sad" or "upset" or "pissed" or "bored," or whatever word they replace it with, we are doing those with depression more harm. If someone says they are depressed, we should tell them they need to get diagnosed. Treating it less than it is, I think, does more harm. > I should really have looked for help a lot sooner. But you didn't, precisely because people use the word far too lightly far too often.
    - 13y ago

knowtheory 13y ago

> The author is more likely suffering from an existential crisis than actually being clincially depressed. Could you please further explain what distinction you are trying to draw here? Because it sounds an awful lot like you're trying to downplay how the author feels, which is in fact exactly what she has gone to some pains to express.

masklinn 13y ago

> However, I gave up counting the number of times I read about life being "meaningless". The author is more likely suffering from an existential crisis than actually being clincially depressed. The post sums up the author's last 2 years, the author's previous post on the subject was http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.be/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.be/2011/10/adventures-in-d..., the author posted this because the author has managed to start the process of dealing with the problem and because the author's fans, readers and online friends have been worrying about the author. And you're an asshole, I urge you to go fuck yourself post-haste.

ak39 13y ago
Please stop worrying about the author! No, really. She's doing fine. She got up in the morning determined to complete her blog. She has found purpose and meaning in her life! Finally!
- mikecane 13y ago
  "See? Don't worry about that person over there you thought was drowning. She managed to bob her head above the surface of the water. She'll be OK." "But she can't swim." "She'll grow out of that."
  - ak39 13y ago
    You call that bobbing her head above water? Those painstakingly-crafted vivid and lucid illustrations, the careful wordsmithing of the humorous writing (which I admit I did very much enjoy) and the coherent reference to the tragedy of hopelessness are all a celebration of the fact that her life without meaning is in fact only meaningful in recognising that it is all bullshit (her words)! Don't you see, she is FULLY emancipated? Bobbing? No. I'd call it a masterful butterfly with an underwater turn then completed with an equally audacious lap of breast stroke with perfect form!
    - svachalek 13y ago

InclinedPlane 13y ago

You don't seem to be aware, the author basically stopped updating her blog and essentially fell off the face of the internet almost 2 years ago. It was so disconcerting that last year many people became concerned about her wellbeing and tried to track her down, eventually learning that she was "ok" but working "through" her depression. This has been the first update of her blog/comic since then.

pja 13y ago

Did you somehow miss the fact that the author didn't make a single blog post for 18 months?

mistercow 13y ago

>That type of shyte won't result in a beautifully animated and elegantly worded blog. :-/ The beautifully illustrated blog is post treatment.

outworlder 13y ago
From her previous post: > "I've been working on it for the better part of a year (partly because I wanted to get it exactly right, and partly because I was still experiencing it while attempting to explain it, which made things weird), and I'm relieved and excited and scared to finally be able to post it. " So that took about a year to make, on and off.

Millennium 13y ago

>However, I gave up counting the number of times I read about life being "meaningless". The author is more likely suffering from an existential crisis than actually being clincially depressed. He/she is searching for meaning. To feel. Reading some mid 20th century French philosophy might help here. I'd suspect a "simple" existential crisis if this had lasted for two weeks. Two years is a much different beast: that's no simple funk. It might indeed have started off as an existential crisis, but it became something very different.

ygxa 13y ago

Honest question - did you give up counting, or give up finishing the comic at all? She stopped creating these comics and fell off of the face of the internet for two years. She was eventually able to come back and share her experiences after getting professional treatment and taking prescription medication for some period of time. Your post is along the same lines as many of the people shown in the piece (substitute philosophy for yoga while watching the sun rise, "I know exactly how you feel, but you should just <x>", etc.) It's also incredibly condescending to trivialize two years of debilitating clinical depression as a little bit of Sartre-deficiency because she was eventually able to come back after getting on psychoactive medication. I'm also not sure if you'e aware that feelings of meaninglessness and purposelessness are common in clinical depression. Your other posts are even worse, as if depression is a gift (seriously?) to creative people so they can angst up a bit and play the tragic, misunderstood, tortured artist. Or even more callously, because it's entertaining for other people (my father was clinically depressed - it's not.) Clearly you don't "empathize completely" and your suggestion that you've gone through "such crises" yourself is presumptuous and insulting, as if gripping with nihilism now and again makes you qualified to diagnose (and undiagnose!) mental disorders in other people - of course, if you have had to undergo prolonged therapy or take SSRI's daily, please do correct me. I'm assuming that you mean well, but your attitude is cavalier and you don't seem to have thought too much about anything you've said here.

ak39 13y ago
> Honest question - did you give up counting, > or give up finishing the comic at all? Honest answer: I gave up finishing the comic. It became tiring to stomach. I truly felt that the piece actually insults and undermines clinical depression. That's of course my opinion.
- ygxa 13y ago
  Then you probably didn't read to the part where she only came back after seeing psychiatrists (read: not just some smug guy who's into absurdism), being diagnosed with clinical depression, and getting medication. The comic was tiring to stomach - hey mister, what happened to depression being a gift that creates beauty? - because depression is tiring to stomach, because it's not a now-and-again, masturbatory, recreational musing into the meaning of it all you indulge in over some Camus. She has gotten better enough to create this comic, after getting medication and professional help. Again, after two years of not creating anything before she started treatment. I'm not sure why you think you're more qualified to determine if somebody was depressed by half-reading a comic they made after getting medicated than professionals she spoke to at length, while she was depressed, in the process of getting diagnosed, treated, and trying medication. I suspect you're not very self-aware. You may find it useful to ask yourself, "which is more likely: a hilarious, talented artist stopped enjoying things she loves, quit creating, left the internet and isolated herself, went through the painful and difficult process of trying to explain what she was going through to others, went to doctors, got incorrectly diagnosed, and started medication with very serious side-effects because she doesn't get the Myth of Sisyphus, or...someone with no medical training who didn't even RTFA ran his mouth presumptuously about a stranger's mental health and got it wrong." Or indeed, "who better knows what clinical depression is like - somebody who exhibited the symptoms of depression for two years before getting professionally diagnosed and medicated and the doctors who diagnosed her, or some guy who totally thinks about philosophy sometimes and stuff." Things to mull over. Your opinion is embarrassing, and you should feel embarrassed.