8 ms·

Quoting some guy off reddit (http://www.reddit.com/r/TrueReddit/comments/1e08me/hyperbole_and_a_half_depression_part_two/c9vsiqa http://www.reddit.com/r/TrueRed

by wisty 14y ago

Quoting some guy off reddit (http://www.reddit.com/r/TrueReddit/comments/1e08me/hyperbole_and_a_half_depression_part_two/c9vsiqa http://www.reddit.com/r/TrueReddit/comments/1e08me/hyperbole...): >Depression is two beasts, gray anhedonia and black dysphoria. > The gray beast smothers, drains, deadens and numbs; the black beast brings misery, anguish, self hatred and despair. They often work together, the gray sucking away every positive feeling and the black feeding everything negative. But sometimes one is dominant, and if the gray beast gets its teeth all the way into you, it takes away not just positive feelings but everything until you're just a walking shell so empty you can't even fully comprehend what you've lost. > The converse, when the black beast has you, can be much like you describe - you can still feel a kind of dreadful, frenzied joy in short moments as you cling desperately to the edge of the sucking dark hole in yourself, trying to ignore the beast's whispers that any pleasure is a lie that will just make the coming pain more stark and inescapable and utterly deserved. > They're liars, but they're good at it. Because they know you, because they are you. Pieces of you mind that should serve you and keep you stable and safe, but somehow grown and empowered out of all proportion. To live with them and not let them win shows a kind of strength that most people are sadly unable to recognize.

jamesbritt 14y ago
They're liars, but they're good at it. Because they know you, because they are you. This, I found, is one of the worst aspects of depression. You begin (if you're lucky) to realize you cannot trust what your own brain is telling you. It's insidious.
- saraid216 14y ago
  http://www.viruscomix.com/page540.html http://www.viruscomix.com/page540.html
- lisper 14y ago
  Makes me think of these lines in Pink Floyd's "Brain Damage": You lock the door and throw away the key There's someone in my head, but it's not me That song was my "piece of corn" many years ago.
ChrisNorstrom 14y ago
This is so accurate it's astonishing. Both the quote about Gray and Black and the original post about the inability to feel. They're 100% on the spot. I used to get a mix of both grey and black depression for years, I eventually learned to just deal with it as it always goes away with time. I normalized to it. Then I relized that I actually liked the grey anhedonia. It made me feel free from forced emotions. I talked about it a few times on HN. I love being depressed for a week or so ever other month. It always goes away but during that time my thoughts & views feel so, authentic. I feel like I'm experiencing the deep nothingness that is life, no hormones, no feelings, no hope. Just a meaningless purposeless universe. It has a sort of depressive beauty to it. A dark enlightenment. Pure logic. No emotion. Some of the best song writers and poets wrote their best work when they were depressed. It really allows you to reflect and think about things. As long as the depression doesn't turn into misery or suicide, it can be a valuable tool for creative people. btw For me sunlight and exercise gets rid of depression within 2 days.
- dmd149 14y ago
  You might appreciate this book: A first rate madness. It's about how some of the best crisis leaders are manic-depressives. Depressive periods give them the ability to see the world as it is, and the mania gives them the energy to do something about it. http://www.amazon.com/First-Rate-Madness-Uncovering-Between-Leadership/dp/0143121332 http://www.amazon.com/First-Rate-Madness-Uncovering-Between-...
  - mikecane 14y ago
    Oh wow. Thanks for that recommendation. That looks like it belongs with Kay Redfield Jamison's book and Arnold Ludwig's.
  - trentlott 13y ago
    Everything's well and good until they walk in to a lake.
- loceng 14y ago
  It's generally the habit of blocking feeling, unpleasant feelings you don't want to feel - you repress them - which then leads to the habit of all feelings starting to get blocked, as it's the action of reenforcing blocking of feeling, which you don't have the ability to control which would get blocked or not; The healthy thing in certain situations that are too tough or don't allow you to deal with them in the immediate or all at once is through suppression - though suppression turns into repression if you ignore it for long enough, or don't have the tools to work it out / talk it out with yourself or someone else.
heed 14y ago
This is more poetic, but I think the submission does a better job of describing depression.
mowe 14y ago
Another brilliant piece on depression; David Foster Wallace's The Depressed Person: http://www.scribd.com/doc/27698800/The-Depressed-Person-David-Foster-Wallace http://www.scribd.com/doc/27698800/The-Depressed-Person-Davi...
- TheSOB88 13y ago
  What is the point of this piece of writing?
allwein 14y ago
This is an absolutely great description. My biggest problem has always been that people are much more familiar with the black part of depression. My depression is almost 100% of the gray variety. So people are always confused because I don't seem especially sad, self-hatey, or unhappy. It's incredibly frustrating. I can't count the number of times I've said the words "I'm not sad, I'm depressed" with no one really understanding what I meant, and me not having the better words to express myself.
- drumdance 13y ago
  This is what it is for me too. For the last several years I've used Zoloft on and off and it helped me a lot. However, after the most recent episode hit back in February/March, I decided to try a nutritional approach. I've been seeing a therapist who specializes in this am about three weeks into a pretty extensive supplement regimen. It seems to be working. Part of my problem relates to alcoholism. The therapist says alcohol and other depressants have a depleting effect on nutrition.
  - seanp2k2 13y ago
    >"The therapist says alcohol and other depressants have a depleting effect on nutrition." Protip: if you drink quite a bit, chase it down with a pint of Pedialyte and a double-dose of multivitamin. It's the best hangover preventative measure I've found. Also, stay hydrated when you're drinking.
- sneak 13y ago
  Anhedonia's a bitch.
joonix 14y ago
This comment and the OP have made me realize I am depressed and have been since the better part of a year. I never thought I would be one of those people who gets depressed, for a long-term, at least. And I never thought of it defined in the way this comment and the OP have. Now I'm not sure what to do from here...
- DenisM 14y ago
  Find someone who cares about you, and ask them to walk you out of it. Couple of things they can do to you: 1. Drag you out to gym or yoga twice a week, like a clockwork 2. Read "Feeling good" book - studies show it to be nearly as effective as therapy 3. Drag you to the doctor if the above does not work within the space of six weeks.
- groby_b 13y ago
  See a doctor. As long as you still care enough to actually see one. And by doctor, I mean a therapist. Get a prescription, too, if it makes sense - but often, behavioral therapy is a better way out. Let somebody close to you know - so they drag you to the therapist when your really don't care any more. And, more importantly, so they can watch you when you take antidepressants. Far from being the magic happy pills they're described as, there's a good chance they just turn you into a zombie who's feeling OK about not caring at all.
  - deleted 13y ago
    [deleted]
- PebblesRox 13y ago
  You can go to your medical doctor to rule out possible biological causes (such as thyroid problems) and also look into seeing a therapist. The doctor should be able to give you a list, or maybe you can call your insurance company to see which offices in your area are covered.
- sneak 13y ago
  A simple and effective fix for many people is a daily dose of B-complex vitamins and 200mg of 5-htp twice daily, coupled along with regular exercise. (This doesn't work for everyone.) The other posts replying to you have good suggestions, too, but the vitamins + 5htp + exercise works for double-digit percentages within a week, in my experience - over the counter. Good luck. Feel free to contact me if you need someone impartial to talk to.
reinhardt 13y ago
Thanks for reposting this. I have been living with the "gray beast" on and off for more than a decade. First signs go back to early teens and it's getting more intense and persistent over the years. Or maybe it has always been the same but I've been slowly shifting away from the denial and bargaining stage and closer to acceptance. Although depression has been one of the several hypotheses I've come across, the popular image of it typically focuses on the "black beast", which hasn't really been a problem for me, not more than a random "normal" person at any rate. That's why I haven't sought professional help so far. Perhaps this article will be the proverbial kick in the butt to do so.
nazka 13y ago
It remembers me the movie "revolver".

by wisty 14y ago

jamesbritt 14y ago

They're liars, but they're good at it. Because they know you, because they are you. This, I found, is one of the worst aspects of depression. You begin (if you're lucky) to realize you cannot trust what your own brain is telling you. It's insidious.

saraid216 14y ago
http://www.viruscomix.com/page540.html http://www.viruscomix.com/page540.html
lisper 14y ago
Makes me think of these lines in Pink Floyd's "Brain Damage": You lock the door and throw away the key There's someone in my head, but it's not me That song was my "piece of corn" many years ago.

ChrisNorstrom 14y ago

This is so accurate it's astonishing. Both the quote about Gray and Black and the original post about the inability to feel. They're 100% on the spot. I used to get a mix of both grey and black depression for years, I eventually learned to just deal with it as it always goes away with time. I normalized to it. Then I relized that I actually liked the grey anhedonia. It made me feel free from forced emotions. I talked about it a few times on HN. I love being depressed for a week or so ever other month. It always goes away but during that time my thoughts & views feel so, authentic. I feel like I'm experiencing the deep nothingness that is life, no hormones, no feelings, no hope. Just a meaningless purposeless universe. It has a sort of depressive beauty to it. A dark enlightenment. Pure logic. No emotion. Some of the best song writers and poets wrote their best work when they were depressed. It really allows you to reflect and think about things. As long as the depression doesn't turn into misery or suicide, it can be a valuable tool for creative people. btw For me sunlight and exercise gets rid of depression within 2 days.

dmd149 14y ago
You might appreciate this book: A first rate madness. It's about how some of the best crisis leaders are manic-depressives. Depressive periods give them the ability to see the world as it is, and the mania gives them the energy to do something about it. http://www.amazon.com/First-Rate-Madness-Uncovering-Between-Leadership/dp/0143121332 http://www.amazon.com/First-Rate-Madness-Uncovering-Between-...
- mikecane 14y ago
  Oh wow. Thanks for that recommendation. That looks like it belongs with Kay Redfield Jamison's book and Arnold Ludwig's.
- trentlott 13y ago
  Everything's well and good until they walk in to a lake.
loceng 14y ago
It's generally the habit of blocking feeling, unpleasant feelings you don't want to feel - you repress them - which then leads to the habit of all feelings starting to get blocked, as it's the action of reenforcing blocking of feeling, which you don't have the ability to control which would get blocked or not; The healthy thing in certain situations that are too tough or don't allow you to deal with them in the immediate or all at once is through suppression - though suppression turns into repression if you ignore it for long enough, or don't have the tools to work it out / talk it out with yourself or someone else.

heed 14y ago

This is more poetic, but I think the submission does a better job of describing depression.

mowe 14y ago

Another brilliant piece on depression; David Foster Wallace's The Depressed Person: http://www.scribd.com/doc/27698800/The-Depressed-Person-David-Foster-Wallace http://www.scribd.com/doc/27698800/The-Depressed-Person-Davi...

TheSOB88 13y ago
What is the point of this piece of writing?

allwein 14y ago

This is an absolutely great description. My biggest problem has always been that people are much more familiar with the black part of depression. My depression is almost 100% of the gray variety. So people are always confused because I don't seem especially sad, self-hatey, or unhappy. It's incredibly frustrating. I can't count the number of times I've said the words "I'm not sad, I'm depressed" with no one really understanding what I meant, and me not having the better words to express myself.

drumdance 13y ago
This is what it is for me too. For the last several years I've used Zoloft on and off and it helped me a lot. However, after the most recent episode hit back in February/March, I decided to try a nutritional approach. I've been seeing a therapist who specializes in this am about three weeks into a pretty extensive supplement regimen. It seems to be working. Part of my problem relates to alcoholism. The therapist says alcohol and other depressants have a depleting effect on nutrition.
- seanp2k2 13y ago
  >"The therapist says alcohol and other depressants have a depleting effect on nutrition." Protip: if you drink quite a bit, chase it down with a pint of Pedialyte and a double-dose of multivitamin. It's the best hangover preventative measure I've found. Also, stay hydrated when you're drinking.
sneak 13y ago
Anhedonia's a bitch.

joonix 14y ago

This comment and the OP have made me realize I am depressed and have been since the better part of a year. I never thought I would be one of those people who gets depressed, for a long-term, at least. And I never thought of it defined in the way this comment and the OP have. Now I'm not sure what to do from here...

DenisM 14y ago
Find someone who cares about you, and ask them to walk you out of it. Couple of things they can do to you: 1. Drag you out to gym or yoga twice a week, like a clockwork 2. Read "Feeling good" book - studies show it to be nearly as effective as therapy 3. Drag you to the doctor if the above does not work within the space of six weeks.
groby_b 13y ago
See a doctor. As long as you still care enough to actually see one. And by doctor, I mean a therapist. Get a prescription, too, if it makes sense - but often, behavioral therapy is a better way out. Let somebody close to you know - so they drag you to the therapist when your really don't care any more. And, more importantly, so they can watch you when you take antidepressants. Far from being the magic happy pills they're described as, there's a good chance they just turn you into a zombie who's feeling OK about not caring at all.
- deleted 13y ago
  [deleted]
PebblesRox 13y ago
You can go to your medical doctor to rule out possible biological causes (such as thyroid problems) and also look into seeing a therapist. The doctor should be able to give you a list, or maybe you can call your insurance company to see which offices in your area are covered.
sneak 13y ago
A simple and effective fix for many people is a daily dose of B-complex vitamins and 200mg of 5-htp twice daily, coupled along with regular exercise. (This doesn't work for everyone.) The other posts replying to you have good suggestions, too, but the vitamins + 5htp + exercise works for double-digit percentages within a week, in my experience - over the counter. Good luck. Feel free to contact me if you need someone impartial to talk to.

reinhardt 13y ago

Thanks for reposting this. I have been living with the "gray beast" on and off for more than a decade. First signs go back to early teens and it's getting more intense and persistent over the years. Or maybe it has always been the same but I've been slowly shifting away from the denial and bargaining stage and closer to acceptance. Although depression has been one of the several hypotheses I've come across, the popular image of it typically focuses on the "black beast", which hasn't really been a problem for me, not more than a random "normal" person at any rate. That's why I haven't sought professional help so far. Perhaps this article will be the proverbial kick in the butt to do so.

nazka 13y ago

It remembers me the movie "revolver".