As I mentioned in a different comment, I think the issue boils down to having unrealistic expectations -- and these unrealistic expectations preventing smart in

As I mentioned in a different comment, I think the issue boils down to having unrealistic expectations -- and these unrealistic expectations preventing smart individuals from getting any sort of experience in dating (which builds confidence) or finding out what they really want (e.g. Are you unable to date someone who doesn't share your political views? Who isn't a fellow nerd? who doesn't have a specific body type? You'll never whether any of these "must haves" is really something you're looking for until you try). In addition, getting into physical shape wouldn't hurt: initial attraction (what gets you the first date) is still mostly physical and being in good shape makes one confident (which gets you past the first three dates). Being in shape will also give you far more energy for 80 work weeks and all night hackathons (in no way, will being physically fit magically make you into a "jock").