4 ms·

I have experienced, and heard of others experiencing, something even more drastic: when achieving a goal after a long and exhilarating journey, not only was I l

by thebear 13y ago

I have experienced, and heard of others experiencing, something even more drastic: when achieving a goal after a long and exhilarating journey, not only was I less happy than during the journey, I was actually depressed, thought the thing just achieved was worthless, and didn't want it anymore. It's like a generalized postnatal depression.

jmathai 13y ago
This is common among olympic gold medalists who wake up feeling depressed the next day. I thought it was referred to as "morning after sickness" but I couldn't find anything online...
- thebear 13y ago
  Interesting. I, and at least one other person I know, had it after receiving our US citizenship. Weird. It did go away pretty soon though :-)
6ren 13y ago
Me too. I've also heard of one instance of postnatal depression where it was hoped that having a child would solve problems the parents were experiencing, both personally and in the relationship (I have no idea if this is a common cause of postnatal depression). Assuming this is a general cause of victories turning to ashes, of trying to solve other problems with it... what to do? Should we disregard this feeling, and start a new project (have more kids/brain children)? Or try to find something that will be genuinely satisfying, and won't turn to ashes? I don't know. But I think it might be more like this: 1. get the basics right 2. have fun. 1. basics exercise, sleep, food friendly, co-operative people, support/encouragement, help others and be helped be factual (not emotional reasoning), discuss (see POVs), keep perspective have a bigger philosophy: religion (Knuth and Brooks are religious), nature 2. fun focus on the journey as enjoyable don't see the result as a solution to *how you feel* immediately go on to the next project it's just for fun, not to redeem yourself or make everything alright NB: I'm in no way commenting on your situation; I'm just replying to your comment to articulate these thoughts I've been having on this topic.
- thebear 13y ago
  Good thoughts, thanks for sharing.
kibibu 13y ago
This is much like how I felt getting my PhD a couple of years ago, with a bit of imposter syndrome thrown in. Even though I know objectively the thing must be ok (as I passed examination, and I chose tough examiners), I still feel vaguely like I shouldn't have and that it is not much of a contribution. It's like - I only passed through sheer hard work, bluster and a tiny bit of cleverness. On reflection, I suspect that's pretty much how anyone gets successful at anything. One difference with your description is that I was only rarely exhilarated through the journey - usually when showing my work to those outside the field; I was much more often plagued by self-doubt.
- thebear 13y ago
  Thanks for mentioning impostor syndrome. I think it is indeed closely related to the "generalized postnatal depression" that we're talking about here: the latter is not wanting the thing I worked for anymore, the former is believing that it is not deserved.

by thebear 13y ago

jmathai 13y ago

This is common among olympic gold medalists who wake up feeling depressed the next day. I thought it was referred to as "morning after sickness" but I couldn't find anything online...

thebear 13y ago
Interesting. I, and at least one other person I know, had it after receiving our US citizenship. Weird. It did go away pretty soon though :-)

6ren 13y ago

Me too. I've also heard of one instance of postnatal depression where it was hoped that having a child would solve problems the parents were experiencing, both personally and in the relationship (I have no idea if this is a common cause of postnatal depression). Assuming this is a general cause of victories turning to ashes, of trying to solve other problems with it... what to do? Should we disregard this feeling, and start a new project (have more kids/brain children)? Or try to find something that will be genuinely satisfying, and won't turn to ashes? I don't know. But I think it might be more like this: 1. get the basics right 2. have fun. 1. basics exercise, sleep, food friendly, co-operative people, support/encouragement, help others and be helped be factual (not emotional reasoning), discuss (see POVs), keep perspective have a bigger philosophy: religion (Knuth and Brooks are religious), nature 2. fun focus on the journey as enjoyable don't see the result as a solution to *how you feel* immediately go on to the next project it's just for fun, not to redeem yourself or make everything alright NB: I'm in no way commenting on your situation; I'm just replying to your comment to articulate these thoughts I've been having on this topic.

thebear 13y ago
Good thoughts, thanks for sharing.

kibibu 13y ago

This is much like how I felt getting my PhD a couple of years ago, with a bit of imposter syndrome thrown in. Even though I know objectively the thing must be ok (as I passed examination, and I chose tough examiners), I still feel vaguely like I shouldn't have and that it is not much of a contribution. It's like - I only passed through sheer hard work, bluster and a tiny bit of cleverness. On reflection, I suspect that's pretty much how anyone gets successful at anything. One difference with your description is that I was only rarely exhilarated through the journey - usually when showing my work to those outside the field; I was much more often plagued by self-doubt.

thebear 13y ago
Thanks for mentioning impostor syndrome. I think it is indeed closely related to the "generalized postnatal depression" that we're talking about here: the latter is not wanting the thing I worked for anymore, the former is believing that it is not deserved.