5 ms·

your intention of dating is to meet someone that may eventually turn into a lifelong partner That's not really typical.

klipt 13y ago
I think it's pretty common in certain crowds, for example geeky grad students. And if you're looking for something serious, wouldn't you want to filter out people who just want to use you for a fling?
- rayiner 13y ago
  It also depends on age and gender. The "biological clock" is not a myth. Women entirely unconcerned about long-term prospects at 22 often do a 180 by 27. The first time I met my now-wife (24), she said in no uncertain terms she didn't want kids. After two years of dating, kids suddenly became super important to her and panic started to set in about possibly not being able to have them.
ZirconCode 13y ago
It should be though, shouldn't it?
skylan_q 13y ago
I agree that it's not typical. And given that it's not typical, people aren't really serious about starting families and having children. If someone was serious about this sort of thing and actually wanted this, they'd start asking very soon if not right away.
ISL 13y ago
Can you back up that assertion? On a per-capita basis (not per date, as casual dating may be more common), I'd guess that many (>60%, to put a number on it) of those in the dating market have at least some notion of a 5+ year future in potential dates. My friends and I have generally looked for partners, not flings. A great long term match can be really worthwhile.
- sillysaurus 13y ago
  Can you back up that assertion? Those who look for flings date more. Most men who date are looking for flings. Thus, it becomes more likely that most who date are looking for flings. See Jaynes's book "Probability Theory: The Logic of Science"
  - ISL 13y ago
    Hence asking about per-capita, not per date, numbers. :).
    - deleted 13y ago
      [deleted]
    - sillysaurus 13y ago
      Well, most men are looking for flings (biologically). Some women are looking for flings. Whether or not most people are looking for flings depends on whether (A + B) / dating_population is > 0.5. I would suspect it is, but statistics to the contrary would be an interesting discovery.
  - illuminate 13y ago
    "Those who look for flings date more. Most men who date are looking for flings." Most dates don't turn into anything serious, but I doubt most men who bother to date are looking for a "fling", your definition of "date" may just be overbroad.

klipt 13y ago

I think it's pretty common in certain crowds, for example geeky grad students. And if you're looking for something serious, wouldn't you want to filter out people who just want to use you for a fling?

rayiner 13y ago
It also depends on age and gender. The "biological clock" is not a myth. Women entirely unconcerned about long-term prospects at 22 often do a 180 by 27. The first time I met my now-wife (24), she said in no uncertain terms she didn't want kids. After two years of dating, kids suddenly became super important to her and panic started to set in about possibly not being able to have them.

ZirconCode 13y ago

It should be though, shouldn't it?

skylan_q 13y ago

I agree that it's not typical. And given that it's not typical, people aren't really serious about starting families and having children. If someone was serious about this sort of thing and actually wanted this, they'd start asking very soon if not right away.

ISL 13y ago

Can you back up that assertion? On a per-capita basis (not per date, as casual dating may be more common), I'd guess that many (>60%, to put a number on it) of those in the dating market have at least some notion of a 5+ year future in potential dates. My friends and I have generally looked for partners, not flings. A great long term match can be really worthwhile.

sillysaurus 13y ago
Can you back up that assertion? Those who look for flings date more. Most men who date are looking for flings. Thus, it becomes more likely that most who date are looking for flings. See Jaynes's book "Probability Theory: The Logic of Science"
- ISL 13y ago
  Hence asking about per-capita, not per date, numbers. :).
  - deleted 13y ago
    [deleted]
  - sillysaurus 13y ago
    Well, most men are looking for flings (biologically). Some women are looking for flings. Whether or not most people are looking for flings depends on whether (A + B) / dating_population is > 0.5. I would suspect it is, but statistics to the contrary would be an interesting discovery.
- illuminate 13y ago
  "Those who look for flings date more. Most men who date are looking for flings." Most dates don't turn into anything serious, but I doubt most men who bother to date are looking for a "fling", your definition of "date" may just be overbroad.