4 ms·

One of their rules seems odd. To "Feign" means to pretend. Do they mean that people actually pretend to be surprised about someone's lack of knowledge? I would

by 7402 13y ago

One of their rules seems odd. To "Feign" means to pretend. Do they mean that people actually pretend to be surprised about someone's lack of knowledge? I would have thought the more common problem is when people are honestly surprised about someone's lack of knowledge, and then show it. That hurts more. I can usually tell if someone trying to show themselves off as a bigshot. That doesn't bother me as much as if someone genuinely thinks I'm ignorant about something that I ought to know. Better to say, "Please feign unsurprise when you encounter ignorance." Or better yet, don't use the word "feign." Just tell participants that they may encounter people from a variety of backgrounds, and they should not assume that every understands what everyone else is talking about.

zandomatter 13y ago
I thought that was odd as well. I've never encountered somebody who pretended to be surprised at my lack of knowledge - more often I just get condescension.
spacemanaki 13y ago
> Do they mean that people actually pretend to be surprised about someone's lack of knowledge? Yes, I think so, or at least the common reaction is usually over-dramatized. I've observed this behavior in friends, colleagues, and in myself. When learning about someone's lack of knowledge, it's very common for the other party to react with "Really?! You don't know xyz??" I think 99% of the time the person saying this is not actually surprised, and does not actually need confirmation by asking again "You don't know xyz??" It's just a social tic ends up being kind of exclusionary and negative. > Just tell participants that they may encounter people from a variety of backgrounds, and they should not assume that every understands what everyone else is talking about. This is fine and well, and I'm sure the people running HS would agree with this, but tbh it is a little obvious sounding. The thing with avoiding "feigning surprise" is that some people (like myself!) might not even realize that they do this. After I read about this rule of theirs last year, I've been trying to cut down and was a bit saddened to realize how much I do it. It's a pretty similar attitude to this comic, in the sense of adding a twist to the more general form the rule that you proposed. Recognizing that this is a positive opportunity for sharing some neat factoid instead of an opportunity to put someone down is not obvious, unfortunately. http://xkcd.com/105/ http://xkcd.com/105/
eric-hu 13y ago
Perhaps a better way of describing their point is "Be aware (and supress?) of your surprise." I'd add that the intent is pretty clear in the explanation. Surprise evokes fear of ignorance.

by 7402 13y ago

zandomatter 13y ago

I thought that was odd as well. I've never encountered somebody who pretended to be surprised at my lack of knowledge - more often I just get condescension.

spacemanaki 13y ago

> Do they mean that people actually pretend to be surprised about someone's lack of knowledge? Yes, I think so, or at least the common reaction is usually over-dramatized. I've observed this behavior in friends, colleagues, and in myself. When learning about someone's lack of knowledge, it's very common for the other party to react with "Really?! You don't know xyz??" I think 99% of the time the person saying this is not actually surprised, and does not actually need confirmation by asking again "You don't know xyz??" It's just a social tic ends up being kind of exclusionary and negative. > Just tell participants that they may encounter people from a variety of backgrounds, and they should not assume that every understands what everyone else is talking about. This is fine and well, and I'm sure the people running HS would agree with this, but tbh it is a little obvious sounding. The thing with avoiding "feigning surprise" is that some people (like myself!) might not even realize that they do this. After I read about this rule of theirs last year, I've been trying to cut down and was a bit saddened to realize how much I do it. It's a pretty similar attitude to this comic, in the sense of adding a twist to the more general form the rule that you proposed. Recognizing that this is a positive opportunity for sharing some neat factoid instead of an opportunity to put someone down is not obvious, unfortunately. http://xkcd.com/105/ http://xkcd.com/105/

eric-hu 13y ago

Perhaps a better way of describing their point is "Be aware (and supress?) of your surprise." I'd add that the intent is pretty clear in the explanation. Surprise evokes fear of ignorance.