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Thanks for your feedback. I would perhaps agree that if handled incorrectly, the notes or calls to various people might not be taken well. On the other hand, th

Thanks for your feedback. I would perhaps agree that if handled incorrectly, the notes or calls to various people might not be taken well. On the other hand, they also represent a valuable opportunity to continue building relationships. As for explaining your reasoning, that is perhaps the case. I would then be curious to know what you would recommend when the recruiter offers the inevitable question of: "Why did you decide to take another offer?" Planning an answer and being proactive about the reasoning in a judicious way can avoid even bigger snafus in response to an unexpected question. I would be curious to know how you typically offer to help others. I have found in my personal experience, as well as that of others, that asking how I can help is one of the single greatest ways to build trust and respect in a relationship. Now, perhaps "reach your goals" takes it a step too far. If so, simply remove it from the phrasing. As for the brand. Call it what you will. You have a reputation, or brand, in the eyes of other people. Maintaining a consistent reputation is the point, rather than the exact phrasing of the words. Again, thanks for offering constructive criticism. I enjoy a healthy debate about career search tactics, and I am always open to continuing the conversation.

brianberns 13y ago
Products (and cattle) are branded. People are not. It's demeaning to imply that a person's reputation is the same as a brand.
- barrettabrooks 13y ago
  I do believe there is a difference there, however. A brand is what people perceive of you before they know anything about your reputation. What do they see around the web? What image do you put off when you walk in the room? How do you treat people? What do your correspondence cards look like? How do you communicate? Those are all elements of a brand. A reputation is all about what other people have to say and how you are preceded by what those people say. That includes things like LinkedIn recommendations, hearsay, references, etc. Thoughts? What other terms would you use to describe the two different aspects? I do think it's important to distinguish.
  - brianberns 13y ago
    I see the distinction you are making, but I would use the word "impression" instead of "brand". E.g. The kind of impression you make on other people. Hackers tend to have very sensitive bullshit detectors. Anything that seems phony (like the word "brand") is going to raise suspicion that you don't understand us.
  - barrettabrooks 13y ago
    I can definitely appreciate the bullshit detectors. I'll have to keep that in mind in the future, for sure. It's hard in a field like career advice not to sound woo woo from time to time. It's easy to get lost in the industry and forget how it gets interpreted by the people you're actually trying to help. Thanks for having the patience to call that out to me.
  - dredmorbius 13y ago
    Back in the days when "branding" applied only to cattle, the word for what you're referring to as a "personal brand" was "your name". As in: making a name for yourself, upholding your name, being a name in good standing. I'll leave branding to cattle, thank you muchly.
7Figures2Commas 13y ago
In-house recruiters or hiring managers, except perhaps the most inexperienced or unprofessional, will not press a candidate to explain a decision to decline an offer. If the company really wanted you and is disappointed about your decision, you might be asked if there was anything that could have been handled better during the recruitment process or that would have swayed you, but it is highly unlikely that you'll be asked to provide a detailed rationale for your decision. In the odd case that you are pressured for one, you are under no obligation to bow to that pressure. As for relationship-building and helping others: 1. You cannot build a relationship with every person you meet. This is not a realistic goal. 2. You cannot help every single person you meet. This is not a realistic goal. 3. People are good at discerning whether an offer to help is empty or legitimate. If you were seeking employment a week ago and haven't even started your new job, you have no business suggesting to the people who interviewed you at a rejected prospective employer that you are now in a position to assist them professionally. Offering such help concurrent with a notification that you have accepted employment elsewhere is, again, an act of extreme hubris and is likely to be seen as such.
- barrettabrooks 13y ago
  Perhaps we have some industry gaps between my professional experience and yours. I have experienced many recruiters and professionals who have wanted to know about specific competing offers and the reason for taking the offer. I see your argument on relationships and I respect it. I think we differ slightly in personal opinion, which is perfectly ok with me.
  - willvarfar 13y ago
    You may have met some of the inexperienced or naive ones then. If an experienced recruiter wants to know all about competing offers they are doing market research and you are giving them power over you and your future choices. Just politely and distantly avoid answering any follow-up after a decline.
    - barrettabrooks 13y ago
6d0debc071 13y ago
> I would be curious to know how you typically offer to help others. The guy hasn't asked for help. He's come very close to outright threatening you. His question's not about him or his company, it's about you: > "Why did you decide to take another offer?" He's asking us to justify our decision; asking why we decided the way we did. And, in doing so, he's basically made the only choice how badly you're going to risk insulting him. The tone of the conversation is basically 'Back down or go to war.' They could have been enthusiastic and asked me about the other job I accepted - and the things I enthused about would probably be the reasons I accepted it. Could have tried to have a real conversation in other words. Would have got more information out of me that way. I think it's probably a no win situation by the time someone's phrasing it as 'Why did you X?' It's such an aggressive question to ask. Oh maybe someone here and there's got a small enough ego that you're not going to insult them if you're honest - people who would bear you absolutely no ill will over the essential statement that their company is inferior in some way - but I think such people are rare and in that environment the trick is to say as little of worth as possible. Whatever I say, someone's going to find a way to hold it against me. So, what would I say? I don't know, it would depend on the companies in question. I'd probably pick the least insulting difference I could think of between the two companies that couldn't be reconciled and enthuse about that. Even if the person on the other end of the line would honestly correct a difference in offer and hope to bid for me that way, it's not worth giving someone like that a handle on me - letting them have something I want that they can manipulate me with.

brianberns 13y ago

Products (and cattle) are branded. People are not. It's demeaning to imply that a person's reputation is the same as a brand.

barrettabrooks 13y ago
I do believe there is a difference there, however. A brand is what people perceive of you before they know anything about your reputation. What do they see around the web? What image do you put off when you walk in the room? How do you treat people? What do your correspondence cards look like? How do you communicate? Those are all elements of a brand. A reputation is all about what other people have to say and how you are preceded by what those people say. That includes things like LinkedIn recommendations, hearsay, references, etc. Thoughts? What other terms would you use to describe the two different aspects? I do think it's important to distinguish.
- brianberns 13y ago
  I see the distinction you are making, but I would use the word "impression" instead of "brand". E.g. The kind of impression you make on other people. Hackers tend to have very sensitive bullshit detectors. Anything that seems phony (like the word "brand") is going to raise suspicion that you don't understand us.
- barrettabrooks 13y ago
  I can definitely appreciate the bullshit detectors. I'll have to keep that in mind in the future, for sure. It's hard in a field like career advice not to sound woo woo from time to time. It's easy to get lost in the industry and forget how it gets interpreted by the people you're actually trying to help. Thanks for having the patience to call that out to me.
- dredmorbius 13y ago
  Back in the days when "branding" applied only to cattle, the word for what you're referring to as a "personal brand" was "your name". As in: making a name for yourself, upholding your name, being a name in good standing. I'll leave branding to cattle, thank you muchly.

7Figures2Commas 13y ago

In-house recruiters or hiring managers, except perhaps the most inexperienced or unprofessional, will not press a candidate to explain a decision to decline an offer. If the company really wanted you and is disappointed about your decision, you might be asked if there was anything that could have been handled better during the recruitment process or that would have swayed you, but it is highly unlikely that you'll be asked to provide a detailed rationale for your decision. In the odd case that you are pressured for one, you are under no obligation to bow to that pressure. As for relationship-building and helping others: 1. You cannot build a relationship with every person you meet. This is not a realistic goal. 2. You cannot help every single person you meet. This is not a realistic goal. 3. People are good at discerning whether an offer to help is empty or legitimate. If you were seeking employment a week ago and haven't even started your new job, you have no business suggesting to the people who interviewed you at a rejected prospective employer that you are now in a position to assist them professionally. Offering such help concurrent with a notification that you have accepted employment elsewhere is, again, an act of extreme hubris and is likely to be seen as such.

barrettabrooks 13y ago
Perhaps we have some industry gaps between my professional experience and yours. I have experienced many recruiters and professionals who have wanted to know about specific competing offers and the reason for taking the offer. I see your argument on relationships and I respect it. I think we differ slightly in personal opinion, which is perfectly ok with me.
- willvarfar 13y ago
  You may have met some of the inexperienced or naive ones then. If an experienced recruiter wants to know all about competing offers they are doing market research and you are giving them power over you and your future choices. Just politely and distantly avoid answering any follow-up after a decline.
  - barrettabrooks 13y ago

6d0debc071 13y ago

> I would be curious to know how you typically offer to help others. The guy hasn't asked for help. He's come very close to outright threatening you. His question's not about him or his company, it's about you: > "Why did you decide to take another offer?" He's asking us to justify our decision; asking why we decided the way we did. And, in doing so, he's basically made the only choice how badly you're going to risk insulting him. The tone of the conversation is basically 'Back down or go to war.' They could have been enthusiastic and asked me about the other job I accepted - and the things I enthused about would probably be the reasons I accepted it. Could have tried to have a real conversation in other words. Would have got more information out of me that way. I think it's probably a no win situation by the time someone's phrasing it as 'Why did you X?' It's such an aggressive question to ask. Oh maybe someone here and there's got a small enough ego that you're not going to insult them if you're honest - people who would bear you absolutely no ill will over the essential statement that their company is inferior in some way - but I think such people are rare and in that environment the trick is to say as little of worth as possible. Whatever I say, someone's going to find a way to hold it against me. So, what would I say? I don't know, it would depend on the companies in question. I'd probably pick the least insulting difference I could think of between the two companies that couldn't be reconciled and enthuse about that. Even if the person on the other end of the line would honestly correct a difference in offer and hope to bid for me that way, it's not worth giving someone like that a handle on me - letting them have something I want that they can manipulate me with.