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After a blow-up in my town a few months ago, I tried to encourage a few notable female tech proponents that negativity was not the way to win the fight. I was p
by jscheel 14y ago
After a blow-up in my town a few months ago, I tried to encourage a few notable female tech proponents that negativity was not the way to win the fight. I was publicly lambasted, called denigrating names, had false information spread as far as cities 3000 miles away, and even had a meme made about me (containing incorrect info, imagine that). Negativity breeds nothing but negativity. I often fall into the trap myself, so it was pretty disheartening to see others fall into it so hard when I tried to warn them away. To be fair, I didn't handle the situation perfectly, but at least I know that and am willing to change. Effective communication starts with introspection. Tolstoy said it this way, "Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."
- joshguthrie 14y ago> negativity was not the way to win the fight Negativity is never the way to win [anything]. We didn't go to the moon with negativity and as people, we can't get over things with negativity. I recently got in a position similar to yours (oh well, no meme though) and I heartily agree: Negativity only begets more negativity. I would love to write paragraph upon paragraph about how negativity can change you and how "doers do" and other pretty zen philosophical quotes, but I have none under the hand and that would just be repeating myself. So I'll just say it straight: Be positive :)
- toasterlovin 14y agoWe can build or we can destroy. I believe in building, because, despite all those who would destroy and tear things asunder, we builders continue to make progress. Bit by it, piece by piece, the world is becoming a better place.
- deleted 14y ago[deleted]
- christiansmith 14y agoSadly, appeals to reason are not usually well received by an angry mob. Every time this subject comes up I remind myself of pg's "What You Can't Say" essay and then I keep my mouth shut. http://paulgraham.com/say.html http://paulgraham.com/say.html
- Kudzu_Bob 14y agoIncreasingly, even silence is no protection.
- shardling 14y agoSorry, but I can't help but remember encountering people who told stories much like yours, only to find on closer examination that they were incredibly, deeply in the wrong. Since you don't go into any actual details about what set the situation off, it makes it really hard for me to take your anecdote too seriously.
- jscheel 14y agoLikewise.
- Kudzu_Bob 14y agoSorry, but I can't help but remember encountering people who made comments much like yours, only to find on closer examination that they were incredibly, deeply in the wrong. Since you don't go into any actual details about the basis of your comment, it makes it really hard for me to take your remembrances too seriously.
- toasterlovin 14y agoIf you're lacking details, why not ask questions?
- shardling 14y agoI'd like to think my comment was an invitation to provide details if possible. Asking specific questions is hard when the situation described is so vague. :)
- calibraxis 14y agoWomen: stop complaining. Leave that to us. Read the article. (Or better yet, just its headline.) It doesn't focus on men. It focusses on how bitter angry women are holding females back. An article men can upvote! We know the power of the Dark Side, and warn you from it. For your own good, naturally. The best advice comes from people who don't take it themselves. Be a team player. We men never complain. (Except for this one subject.) Can you imagine Larry Ellison complaining? Steve Jobs? Bill Gates? No, of course not. This trait they shared with Jesus, who famously also never complained. (Now, you may google that and ask, "What about the Pharisees? And a fig tree he cursed to wither and die, because for some reason it didn't give him fruit out of season? Plus, wasn't he always complaining about his Apostles?" The answer is that was the historical brown Jesus, and you know how uppity Middle Easterners are. I'm talking about White Jesus with the soft eyes. Who's all about turning the other cheek and taking it.)