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Not that you need one more thing to do, but my wife and I (proud parents of 4, with our youngest also 2 months old), have found this book to be very helpful in

Not that you need one more thing to do, but my wife and I (proud parents of 4, with our youngest also 2 months old), have found this book to be very helpful in learning how to guide a newborn into a good sleeping schedule. http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Baby-Wise-Giving-Nighttime/dp/1932740139 http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Baby-Wise-Giving-Nighttime/dp... If you just do one thing from that book, choose to regulate the sleep/eat/awake cycle of your child. And now some generic pointers you may have already heard: - Every child is different, but parenting approaches not so much. Pick an approach that emphasizes the goals you want to achieve (regulate sleep, minimize crying, parental free time, etc.) and adapt it to your child in the particulars (approach says feed every 3 hours, but Sally is hungry after 2.5). - Getting enough sleep is hard, but important, for both of you. If family can watch the baby so one or both of you get naps, absolutely take advantage of that. - Be patient with your spouse, assume her intentions are good and give her the benefit of the doubt. - In a time when your wife is resentful of you, ask her directly if there's anything you can do to alleviate some burden from her. - Parenting is a constant reminder that you don't know what you're doing, so don't feel bad about that. Bill Watterson put it rather well in C&H: http://qph.is.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-a0c61445794a690aa3a00f49cbf88504 http://qph.is.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-a0c61445794a690aa3a00f4... - It does get easier, especially when the kid drops a middle-of-the-night feeding. Lastly, I just want to say that you aren't alone, our 7 week old is still up every 3 hours through the night, and lately our oldest has been waking up at 4:30 (which does not coincide with a time that we're up with the youngest). This has been the hardest lack of sleep to adjust to out of our 4 kids, and my wife is exhausted. Still, we're as close as a couple as we've ever been, and you only get that from doing whatever it takes to survive the hard times with someone else.

codegeek 13y ago
First, you have my respect for raising 4 kids. I mean it in a good way :). Some good advice there. Looking at the book for sure. I think like many others are saying, the sleep cycle will get better but it is never too early to start trying out techniques. For example, we are using crib, swing, secure sleeper etc. to try and put her to sleep in addition to me walking her around on my shoulders or sitting with her in our laps.
- notdonspaulding 13y ago
  Every child adds a new dynamic to your life, and our lives are very dynamic at this point ;-) Two other things I want to mention: - Kids are incredibly resilient. They will not break even if you make mistakes. - Crying and fussing is not always a sign that you need to do something. Babies cry. If your child has a clean diaper, isn't hungry, and doesn't need to burp, there's no harm done in letting them cry themselves to sleep in a crib, in a room by themselves. Many people nowadays, parents included, consider those to be very harsh ideas. But really, it won't harm the child or you (physically, mentally, emotionally) to let them cry themselves to sleep.
  - codegeek 13y ago
    I am very intrigued by the idea of "let them cry to sleep". I will talk to the pediatrician about it but does this really work ? Also does it harm the baby in any way ? Honestly, 2 mins of her crying makes us get up and take her in our arms.
    - DanBC 13y ago
      You must not use controlled crying techniques until the child is at least 6 months old - that's about the age that children can cry voluntarily. Before that point the only reason they cry is to tell you that they need something. To stop them crying you have to address that need. They're either hungry, or cold, or hot, or have trapped wind, or lonely. There is plenty of conflicting research, but I chose to pick the research that supports my point of view. (Which is all supporting 'attachment parenting'.) When you do start the technique it is NOT 'just leave them to cry'. The child cries. You go in and calm her without taking her from the crib. You then leave before she's gone back to sleep. If she cries you wait one minute, then go back in and calm her, then leave again. If she cries you wait 2 minutes. You repeat this, adding a minute on each time. Sometimes she might not settle at all. You can stay in the room. Don't make eye contact. Make loud sshhhsss noises. Pat her on the back. Don't take her from the cot unless there's a need to. It's important to set aside 2 weeks for this process. Usually it doesn't take that long, most children settle in after 2 or 3 nights. But you must be consistent.

codegeek 13y ago

First, you have my respect for raising 4 kids. I mean it in a good way :). Some good advice there. Looking at the book for sure. I think like many others are saying, the sleep cycle will get better but it is never too early to start trying out techniques. For example, we are using crib, swing, secure sleeper etc. to try and put her to sleep in addition to me walking her around on my shoulders or sitting with her in our laps.

notdonspaulding 13y ago
Every child adds a new dynamic to your life, and our lives are very dynamic at this point ;-) Two other things I want to mention: - Kids are incredibly resilient. They will not break even if you make mistakes. - Crying and fussing is not always a sign that you need to do something. Babies cry. If your child has a clean diaper, isn't hungry, and doesn't need to burp, there's no harm done in letting them cry themselves to sleep in a crib, in a room by themselves. Many people nowadays, parents included, consider those to be very harsh ideas. But really, it won't harm the child or you (physically, mentally, emotionally) to let them cry themselves to sleep.
- codegeek 13y ago
  I am very intrigued by the idea of "let them cry to sleep". I will talk to the pediatrician about it but does this really work ? Also does it harm the baby in any way ? Honestly, 2 mins of her crying makes us get up and take her in our arms.
  - DanBC 13y ago
    You must not use controlled crying techniques until the child is at least 6 months old - that's about the age that children can cry voluntarily. Before that point the only reason they cry is to tell you that they need something. To stop them crying you have to address that need. They're either hungry, or cold, or hot, or have trapped wind, or lonely. There is plenty of conflicting research, but I chose to pick the research that supports my point of view. (Which is all supporting 'attachment parenting'.) When you do start the technique it is NOT 'just leave them to cry'. The child cries. You go in and calm her without taking her from the crib. You then leave before she's gone back to sleep. If she cries you wait one minute, then go back in and calm her, then leave again. If she cries you wait 2 minutes. You repeat this, adding a minute on each time. Sometimes she might not settle at all. You can stay in the room. Don't make eye contact. Make loud sshhhsss noises. Pat her on the back. Don't take her from the cot unless there's a need to. It's important to set aside 2 weeks for this process. Usually it doesn't take that long, most children settle in after 2 or 3 nights. But you must be consistent.