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I have done all of the following at various points in the past: 1. Report to HR. 2. Switch teams (new manager). 3. Quit. IMHO (1) doesn't accomplish anythin

I have done all of the following at various points in the past: 1. Report to HR. 2. Switch teams (new manager). 3. Quit. IMHO (1) doesn't accomplish anything. Human nature is such that even the most empathetic, self-aware, fair people have a tough time changing their day to day habits and standards. The likelihood of a tyrannical manager somehow finding the light because some underling told them how they felt is infinitesimally unlikely. Switch teams or quit, imo. (switching teams is kind of like quitting anyways) And start looking asap, since job searches tend to take a while. Also, 4. Tell them how you feel. My former coworker did this. Did not accomplish anything. However, when another team member left for a very prominent company which at this point had developed a track record of recruiting from our company, he did get a decent raise. (this doesn't help the root cause of the frustration at all, but letting your boss know that you're unhappy does make him realize that you might quit at any moment) edit: I'm happy to be a sounding board in private if you think that'd help. Ping me on twitter and we can exchange contact details. (same ID as my HN ID)

mtrimpe 14y ago
These managers are essentially adult versions of bullies and you should deal with them accordingly. Within a company there are two options: 1) This is considered unacceptable behaviour but it has gone undetected so far. 2) This is considered acceptable or even desirable behaviour. In the first case, standing up for yourself and exposing the behaviour will be the right thing to do and you'll find that your company will back you up. In the second case, standing up for yourself will get you (and possibly anyone who supports you) fired. Either way standing up for yourself will be an educational experience, but statistically speaking if this is happening to you it's most likely because it's normal within the company.
reinhardt 14y ago
How about: 5. Do nothing and adopt a "it will be done when it's done" attitude bordering on passive aggressiveness, leave work at 5:01pm every day, etc. while preparing (mentally and/or practically) for switching team or company. At least that's my natural tendency.
- praptak 14y ago
  This would make me unhappy and I believe it is also true for most people. This positions oneself as helpless and feeling helpless is feeling unhappy. If you choose aggressiveness then at least make it active (advice to be taken with a grain of salt :-) )
  - quanticle 14y ago
    Not necessarily. I did that for a while at a job I hated. It was the only thing that kept me sane. Lots of hackers (like me) hate confrontation. Even small amounts of interpersonal conflict cause intense discomfort. So, when under a toxic boss, I think adopting a clockwatcher attitude is an entirely valid strategy. I analogize it to the strict shift rotations employed by nuclear reactor workers, chemical plant workers, and others who have to deal with dangerous and toxic materials in their day-to-day jobs. You set hard limits on exposure and stick to them. The act of setting and sticking to those boundaries can give you a modicum of control over a situation where you feel like you have no control at all. It can make a huge difference. And, of course, as a side benefit, setting hard limits on the hours you work also allows you to have time to conduct a search for a less terrible job. :)
- anthonyb 14y ago
  In general that'll just make you miserable. If it's that bad, either start actively looking (eg. interviews at lunch time), or quit and fall back on your 3-6 months of savings runway while you look.

mtrimpe 14y ago

These managers are essentially adult versions of bullies and you should deal with them accordingly. Within a company there are two options: 1) This is considered unacceptable behaviour but it has gone undetected so far. 2) This is considered acceptable or even desirable behaviour. In the first case, standing up for yourself and exposing the behaviour will be the right thing to do and you'll find that your company will back you up. In the second case, standing up for yourself will get you (and possibly anyone who supports you) fired. Either way standing up for yourself will be an educational experience, but statistically speaking if this is happening to you it's most likely because it's normal within the company.

reinhardt 14y ago

How about: 5. Do nothing and adopt a "it will be done when it's done" attitude bordering on passive aggressiveness, leave work at 5:01pm every day, etc. while preparing (mentally and/or practically) for switching team or company. At least that's my natural tendency.

praptak 14y ago
This would make me unhappy and I believe it is also true for most people. This positions oneself as helpless and feeling helpless is feeling unhappy. If you choose aggressiveness then at least make it active (advice to be taken with a grain of salt :-) )
- quanticle 14y ago
  Not necessarily. I did that for a while at a job I hated. It was the only thing that kept me sane. Lots of hackers (like me) hate confrontation. Even small amounts of interpersonal conflict cause intense discomfort. So, when under a toxic boss, I think adopting a clockwatcher attitude is an entirely valid strategy. I analogize it to the strict shift rotations employed by nuclear reactor workers, chemical plant workers, and others who have to deal with dangerous and toxic materials in their day-to-day jobs. You set hard limits on exposure and stick to them. The act of setting and sticking to those boundaries can give you a modicum of control over a situation where you feel like you have no control at all. It can make a huge difference. And, of course, as a side benefit, setting hard limits on the hours you work also allows you to have time to conduct a search for a less terrible job. :)
anthonyb 14y ago
In general that'll just make you miserable. If it's that bad, either start actively looking (eg. interviews at lunch time), or quit and fall back on your 3-6 months of savings runway while you look.