4 ms·

The preponderance of comments that "this has happened to me and I'm a guy so the world's not sexist" is so discouraging. It's logically inconsistent and a giant

by rsingel 14y ago

The preponderance of comments that "this has happened to me and I'm a guy so the world's not sexist" is so discouraging. It's logically inconsistent and a giant sign of a defense mechanism. It's a problem and you might do some of these things inadvertently, so maybe listen a bit more and figure out how to keep yourself from not doing things like assuming women at a tech conference are in marketing instead of engineering. The fact this thread is filled with a bunch of guys mansplaining how this wasn't sexist behavior is very telling.

deleted 14y ago
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nandemo 14y ago
In the first part she asks male co-workers if the same thing had ever happened to them. It seems to me that she's prepared to consider if phenomenon X happens due to sexism or it happens to everyone. It seems that out of the 3 episodes she mentioned, the first one rarely happens to men here, while #2 and #3 happens sometimes do. Of course it might as well be that #2 and #3 happen more often to women, but I don't think anybody is doing a scientific investigation here.
- craigyk 14y ago
  Maybe she just dresses much better than the average SE. Some people might be equally confused if they walked into the room and where greeted (without introduction) by a guy who was better dressed than they expected.
mkmkmmmmm 14y ago
Regardless of whether they are wrong or not, the fact that you would use a gender-specific word to tell us why all men who disagree are incorrect is very telling.
craigyk 14y ago
Uh, but why is it so terrible to make these assumptions? Stereotypes are a major part of how the human species has gotten as far as it has, or even how, as individuals, anyone of us efficiently navigates the society of strangers. What really matters is what happens AFTER sufficient introduction, ie. how quickly mental crutches are thrown out the door. I'm sorry, nothing in her story, except the HR bit, sounded sexist. Even the HR bit is more an observation about how tactless some people are when re-evaluating mistaken preconceptions. I'm done mansplaining now.

by rsingel 14y ago

deleted 14y ago

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nandemo 14y ago

In the first part she asks male co-workers if the same thing had ever happened to them. It seems to me that she's prepared to consider if phenomenon X happens due to sexism or it happens to everyone. It seems that out of the 3 episodes she mentioned, the first one rarely happens to men here, while #2 and #3 happens sometimes do. Of course it might as well be that #2 and #3 happen more often to women, but I don't think anybody is doing a scientific investigation here.

craigyk 14y ago
Maybe she just dresses much better than the average SE. Some people might be equally confused if they walked into the room and where greeted (without introduction) by a guy who was better dressed than they expected.

mkmkmmmmm 14y ago

Regardless of whether they are wrong or not, the fact that you would use a gender-specific word to tell us why all men who disagree are incorrect is very telling.

craigyk 14y ago

Uh, but why is it so terrible to make these assumptions? Stereotypes are a major part of how the human species has gotten as far as it has, or even how, as individuals, anyone of us efficiently navigates the society of strangers. What really matters is what happens AFTER sufficient introduction, ie. how quickly mental crutches are thrown out the door. I'm sorry, nothing in her story, except the HR bit, sounded sexist. Even the HR bit is more an observation about how tactless some people are when re-evaluating mistaken preconceptions. I'm done mansplaining now.