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This isn't about embarrassing you. This is about showing that they care about you. Clearly, in your case they would prepare something to suit you - perhaps a go
by pbiggar 14y ago
This isn't about embarrassing you. This is about showing that they care about you. Clearly, in your case they would prepare something to suit you - perhaps a gourmet basket sent to your house or similar, in a way that wouldn't embarrass you.
- kijin 14y ago@elliptic's complaint is not about embarrassment, it's about respecting people's conceptions of appropriateness. For example, if he likes to keep work strictly separate from the rest of his life, having anything delivered to his home that isn't strictly necessary would be a violation of his principles and therefore a gesture of disrespect. For another example, people with Asperger's can look embarrassed when you violate their rules. But the symptoms that neurotypicals tend to interpret as embarrassment can just as well be a sign of deep indignation. Actually caring for a person means respecting their opinions and preferences, up to and including a preference for an utterly unmemorable day at work, or a preference that their boss does not exploit unfair advantages.
- pbiggar 14y agoI think we're actually agreed on the issue. In the original article, it said they looked through someone's (obviously public or shared) facebook for something they would like. Clearly, they would also (well, ideally) sense the right level of respectfulness for people who value unmemorable days.