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>> "It's also insulting to not give a conversation your full attention, for some of us." There are certain mental conditions (including variants of ADHD) where

>> "It's also insulting to not give a conversation your full attention, for some of us." There are certain mental conditions (including variants of ADHD) wherein it's actually easier for someone to focus if they're doing two things than if they're doing one thing. It's insulting to those of us with those conditions to be told to stop because you misunderstand us.

deleted 14y ago
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kaens 14y ago
It's fine if people are insulted by that behavior. It's fine if people are insulted by people being insulted by that behavior. There are enough people with varying behavioral preferences or needs that people insulted by that behavior to a significant degree should simply not associate with those people. Opportunity lost? Maybe. Maybe not. They probably aren't going to be the best fit together for whatever they're doing if they clash with that type of amplitude though. That said, there's a point here that I don't think is made quite often enough, or not explicitly enough: People do not have the right to not be insulted. If you're insulted by something some people do, I'd guess your course of actions should be: + ask them about why they do it + express that you find it insulting and why and then if the context of their actions doesn't remove the insult to you, stop associating with them. People are sometimes purposefully insulting -- those people are dicks, and you'll accomplish nothing by engaging them. Some people are accidentally insulting and will gladly try to be aware of your sensibilities while you're around. Some people will have behavior that is part of their identity that is insulting to you for reasons that are pretty alien to them. Particularly in that last case, people on all sides need to grow the fuck up and realize that being insulted and/or being interpreted as insulting is not nearly as big of a deal as some people make it out to be. Be insulted, be offended, it's fine. Stop being indignant about it. Speaking for myself, I can't imagine being insulted by something that when clarified did not have insult as its intent without having some sort of skewed notion of my value as a living thing in relation to other living things.

deleted 14y ago

[deleted]

kaens 14y ago

It's fine if people are insulted by that behavior. It's fine if people are insulted by people being insulted by that behavior. There are enough people with varying behavioral preferences or needs that people insulted by that behavior to a significant degree should simply not associate with those people. Opportunity lost? Maybe. Maybe not. They probably aren't going to be the best fit together for whatever they're doing if they clash with that type of amplitude though. That said, there's a point here that I don't think is made quite often enough, or not explicitly enough: People do not have the right to not be insulted. If you're insulted by something some people do, I'd guess your course of actions should be: + ask them about why they do it + express that you find it insulting and why and then if the context of their actions doesn't remove the insult to you, stop associating with them. People are sometimes purposefully insulting -- those people are dicks, and you'll accomplish nothing by engaging them. Some people are accidentally insulting and will gladly try to be aware of your sensibilities while you're around. Some people will have behavior that is part of their identity that is insulting to you for reasons that are pretty alien to them. Particularly in that last case, people on all sides need to grow the fuck up and realize that being insulted and/or being interpreted as insulting is not nearly as big of a deal as some people make it out to be. Be insulted, be offended, it's fine. Stop being indignant about it. Speaking for myself, I can't imagine being insulted by something that when clarified did not have insult as its intent without having some sort of skewed notion of my value as a living thing in relation to other living things.