5 ms·

Not be demeaning, but there is an alternative way out of that - become a power user. I frequently continue programming/typing, slip in an audio note to self or

Not be demeaning, but there is an alternative way out of that - become a power user. I frequently continue programming/typing, slip in an audio note to self or search the web via Google Now, while holding a normal conversation. And people with whom I interact got used to this to the level of requiring me to have the data from Wikipedia ready for the continuation of the discourse. :) This is not a comment on the externalisation, but on how gadgetry, used properly, can add to experience.

adam-a 14y ago
"witholding" means the opposite of what you think it does, it means "preventing" or "holding back" in this context :) Also I suspect a lot of people, certainly myself, would find this behaviour quite unsociable, and hard to bear during every conversation. The reason I think, is because it is so easy for someone doing this to slip into focussing on social media, or some news article, privately. It's also hard to tell whether you were temporarily ignoring me or just refreshing your memory on something we are talking about.
- dsirijus 14y ago
  Edited, thank you. It was just a lapsus. Awkwardly placed one, though. :) Come to think of it, this kind of behaviour may even act as a solid social filter. After all, if you cannot comprehend that I'm actually being an active part of conversation, notwithstanding my relationship with gadgets around, I'm not sure I want to continue conversing with you in particular. Someone might call me on basic etiquette, but those are rules that are to be redefined at some point.
  - amirmc 14y ago
    > "...if you cannot comprehend that I'm actually being an active part of conversation..." All the normal methods of figuring out that someone is actively engaged are broken when you introduce devices. Eye contact, physical gestures, mini-facial expressions etc don't work anymore. How is one to tell that you're involved? Random interruptions? It's perfectly ok for someone to 'drop out' of the flow momentarily to check their little screen but they shouldn't pretend that they're still involved in the actual conversation.
    - dsirijus 14y ago
      Um, how about content as a normal method?
      - ohwp 14y ago
        What about meta content? Why do you think Google likes meta content? Because that defines context. And content without context is often meaningless.
ohwp 14y ago
Getting used to something is not the same as liking something. Edit: When you drop what you are doing to have a conversation with someone you make them feel important. Why not make people feel good?
skrebbel 14y ago
> I frequently continue programming/typing, slip in an audio note to self or search the web via Google Now, while holding a normal conversation. And people with whom I interact got used to this to the level of requiring me to have the data from Wikipedia ready for the continuation of the discourse. :) If you ever do that while talking to me, I'm off. If you don't want to talk, don't, but if I'm genuinely less interesting than Google Now (of all things!) then why don't you just walk away?
- tedks 14y ago
  I can think of several reasons: 1. It would be insulting to do that. 2. Most people understand that as long as the flow of conversation is maintained, it doesn't really matter what else you're doing. People have conversations while doing other things all the time. 3. Doing something else while conversing with someone doesn't actually mean you're less interesting than that something else. It means that temporarily, there exists reason to do that thing. 4. You have a real relationship with the person with whom you are conversing and both of you understand that taking 10 seconds to look something up on wikipedia will not damage that relationship. Could you really think of none of those things? If not, why not just signal your luddism directly by saying "If you use google now in my presence, I will hellban you from my life?"
  - archon 14y ago
    > 1. It would be insulting to do that. It's also insulting to not give a conversation your full attention, for some of us. If I'm trying to talk with you about something (as opposed to talking to you), I'm going to be insulted if you're checking your phone and otherwise broadcasting through body language and your inattention that "what you're saying to me right now is unimportant, and I would rather be doing other things." Whether you are capable of paying full attention to our conversation while doing other things is immaterial; it's about perception. If I feel like you're not interested in the conversation, I'm just going to shut up and move on.
    - lotharbot 14y ago
      >> "It's also insulting to not give a conversation your full attention, for some of us." There are certain mental conditions (including variants of ADHD) wherein it's actually easier for someone to focus if they're doing two things than if they're doing one thing. It's insulting to those of us with those conditions to be told to stop because you misunderstand us.
jbattle 14y ago
Imagine a question comes up in conversation like ... "How close did Washington come to being proclaimed the king of the USA?" Honestly I hate when people end a conversation like this by just looking up the answer on wikipedia. The point of these conversations is quite often NOT actually about getting the right answer - the point is to enjoy the conversation - explore the 'space' around some topic, each participant in the conversation sharing their own perspective & knowledge. The cool thing about conversations like this is all the stuff that comes up which would otherwise be short-circuited by the closed door an "official" answer imposes.
epo 14y ago
Your social skills are severely lacking. If you were 13 it might just get you the "it is rude to do that" talk. Otherwise you will find the problem of people interrupting your onanistic self absorption will sort itself out over time.

adam-a 14y ago

"witholding" means the opposite of what you think it does, it means "preventing" or "holding back" in this context :) Also I suspect a lot of people, certainly myself, would find this behaviour quite unsociable, and hard to bear during every conversation. The reason I think, is because it is so easy for someone doing this to slip into focussing on social media, or some news article, privately. It's also hard to tell whether you were temporarily ignoring me or just refreshing your memory on something we are talking about.

dsirijus 14y ago
Edited, thank you. It was just a lapsus. Awkwardly placed one, though. :) Come to think of it, this kind of behaviour may even act as a solid social filter. After all, if you cannot comprehend that I'm actually being an active part of conversation, notwithstanding my relationship with gadgets around, I'm not sure I want to continue conversing with you in particular. Someone might call me on basic etiquette, but those are rules that are to be redefined at some point.
- amirmc 14y ago
  > "...if you cannot comprehend that I'm actually being an active part of conversation..." All the normal methods of figuring out that someone is actively engaged are broken when you introduce devices. Eye contact, physical gestures, mini-facial expressions etc don't work anymore. How is one to tell that you're involved? Random interruptions? It's perfectly ok for someone to 'drop out' of the flow momentarily to check their little screen but they shouldn't pretend that they're still involved in the actual conversation.
  - dsirijus 14y ago
    Um, how about content as a normal method?
    - ohwp 14y ago
      What about meta content? Why do you think Google likes meta content? Because that defines context. And content without context is often meaningless.

ohwp 14y ago

Getting used to something is not the same as liking something. Edit: When you drop what you are doing to have a conversation with someone you make them feel important. Why not make people feel good?

skrebbel 14y ago

> I frequently continue programming/typing, slip in an audio note to self or search the web via Google Now, while holding a normal conversation. And people with whom I interact got used to this to the level of requiring me to have the data from Wikipedia ready for the continuation of the discourse. :) If you ever do that while talking to me, I'm off. If you don't want to talk, don't, but if I'm genuinely less interesting than Google Now (of all things!) then why don't you just walk away?

tedks 14y ago
I can think of several reasons: 1. It would be insulting to do that. 2. Most people understand that as long as the flow of conversation is maintained, it doesn't really matter what else you're doing. People have conversations while doing other things all the time. 3. Doing something else while conversing with someone doesn't actually mean you're less interesting than that something else. It means that temporarily, there exists reason to do that thing. 4. You have a real relationship with the person with whom you are conversing and both of you understand that taking 10 seconds to look something up on wikipedia will not damage that relationship. Could you really think of none of those things? If not, why not just signal your luddism directly by saying "If you use google now in my presence, I will hellban you from my life?"
- archon 14y ago
  > 1. It would be insulting to do that. It's also insulting to not give a conversation your full attention, for some of us. If I'm trying to talk with you about something (as opposed to talking to you), I'm going to be insulted if you're checking your phone and otherwise broadcasting through body language and your inattention that "what you're saying to me right now is unimportant, and I would rather be doing other things." Whether you are capable of paying full attention to our conversation while doing other things is immaterial; it's about perception. If I feel like you're not interested in the conversation, I'm just going to shut up and move on.
  - lotharbot 14y ago
    >> "It's also insulting to not give a conversation your full attention, for some of us." There are certain mental conditions (including variants of ADHD) wherein it's actually easier for someone to focus if they're doing two things than if they're doing one thing. It's insulting to those of us with those conditions to be told to stop because you misunderstand us.

jbattle 14y ago

Imagine a question comes up in conversation like ... "How close did Washington come to being proclaimed the king of the USA?" Honestly I hate when people end a conversation like this by just looking up the answer on wikipedia. The point of these conversations is quite often NOT actually about getting the right answer - the point is to enjoy the conversation - explore the 'space' around some topic, each participant in the conversation sharing their own perspective & knowledge. The cool thing about conversations like this is all the stuff that comes up which would otherwise be short-circuited by the closed door an "official" answer imposes.

epo 14y ago

Your social skills are severely lacking. If you were 13 it might just get you the "it is rude to do that" talk. Otherwise you will find the problem of people interrupting your onanistic self absorption will sort itself out over time.