4 ms·

This site has the exact same problem as AdultFriedFinder, which is that no woman needs it. If one really wants some NSA relations, all she has to do is go to a

This site has the exact same problem as AdultFriedFinder, which is that no woman needs it. If one really wants some NSA relations, all she has to do is go to a bar, rather than publicly post her picture on the net where anyone (including her husband) can find it. I suspect both of those sites are almost entirely men chasing fake accounts.

deleted 18y ago
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calambrac 18y ago
I dunno, there's probably a large market of women who don't really want some NSA relations, but still want to play around like they do. Or that aren't sure if they do or not and just want to dip their toe in. Or that do, but don't have the courage to throw themselves into the bar scene.
- mattmaroon 18y ago
  I think the bar scene is FAR less courageous than AFF.
  - calambrac 18y ago
    Why? The bar scene, it's you unmediated. Even if you adopt a different persona while you're out, you have to work to keep it going the whole time. Rejection is immediate and in your face, oftentimes cold. If you're not in a huge city, you always risk running into someone you know. On the web, you can construct whatever reality you want, and you don't have to throw your whole self into it while you do so. You can put up fake pictures, you can flirt from the comfort of your bathrobe. You can keep your anonymity until the actual moment of interaction, and you know the groundrules going in.
    - mattmaroon 18y ago
      It's a bunch of slimy, anonymous strangers on AFF. You think the average woman wants anything to do with anyone who would be on AFF?
      - calambrac 18y ago
        1. You're changing the subject, from 'courage' to 'desire'. 2. We're talking about a woman who goes out and picks up random strangers, either in a bar or online. Is that the 'average' woman? 3. I wasn't talking about AFF in particular, just the idea of cheating via the internet vs. cheating via the bar scene.
      - deleted 18y ago
        [deleted]
randomwalker 18y ago
I agree that women have very little need for AFF, but I'm not so sure about this one. There was a study that got some attention right after the Spitzer scandal (I wish I could find the link right now). It turns out that married people who seek prostitutes do so for the 'thrill,' and sex is a distant second. There are many parallels here: women who shoplift are often rich, they do it because they can't stand the boredom. I haven't watched the show Desperate Housewives, but I understand that a common theme is that women cheat because their lives are too sedate. Thus, the faint possibility of being caught might actually increase the appeal of this service. Also, people significantly overestimate their anonymity online. This is the subject of my research (http://33bits.org http://33bits.org), which I see someone else has already linked to :-)
joshuaxls 18y ago
I think the idea of women going to bars for NSA relations is a bit degrading. The quality of a bar hookup is very low. I'm speaking anecdotally, but I doubt anyone will disagree: most infidelities happen with someone you know fairly well. This site will do much better with women than AFF for two reasons: 1: the front page isn't covered with scantily clad, beautiful women. yes, there's an image of a girl going down on a guy, but the guy has a very nice body. 2: there's an assumption that the men are married and thus have careers, friends, family, etc. - i.e. they aren't weirdos.
michaelkeenan 18y ago
I've met a few polyamorous girls who sought NSA relations, and a frequent complaint is that finding a partner is easy, but finding a quality partner is difficult, both on the internet and in bars. It's like what Joel Spolsky wrote about job seekers mostly being poor quality, because high quality people are already taken. This is mostly in England (and not London, where I hear the situation is better), so maybe it's easier in a polyamorous hub like San Francisco.

deleted 18y ago

[deleted]

calambrac 18y ago

I dunno, there's probably a large market of women who don't really want some NSA relations, but still want to play around like they do. Or that aren't sure if they do or not and just want to dip their toe in. Or that do, but don't have the courage to throw themselves into the bar scene.

mattmaroon 18y ago
I think the bar scene is FAR less courageous than AFF.
- calambrac 18y ago
  Why? The bar scene, it's you unmediated. Even if you adopt a different persona while you're out, you have to work to keep it going the whole time. Rejection is immediate and in your face, oftentimes cold. If you're not in a huge city, you always risk running into someone you know. On the web, you can construct whatever reality you want, and you don't have to throw your whole self into it while you do so. You can put up fake pictures, you can flirt from the comfort of your bathrobe. You can keep your anonymity until the actual moment of interaction, and you know the groundrules going in.
  - mattmaroon 18y ago
    It's a bunch of slimy, anonymous strangers on AFF. You think the average woman wants anything to do with anyone who would be on AFF?
    - calambrac 18y ago
      1. You're changing the subject, from 'courage' to 'desire'. 2. We're talking about a woman who goes out and picks up random strangers, either in a bar or online. Is that the 'average' woman? 3. I wasn't talking about AFF in particular, just the idea of cheating via the internet vs. cheating via the bar scene.
    - deleted 18y ago
      [deleted]

randomwalker 18y ago

I agree that women have very little need for AFF, but I'm not so sure about this one. There was a study that got some attention right after the Spitzer scandal (I wish I could find the link right now). It turns out that married people who seek prostitutes do so for the 'thrill,' and sex is a distant second. There are many parallels here: women who shoplift are often rich, they do it because they can't stand the boredom. I haven't watched the show Desperate Housewives, but I understand that a common theme is that women cheat because their lives are too sedate. Thus, the faint possibility of being caught might actually increase the appeal of this service. Also, people significantly overestimate their anonymity online. This is the subject of my research (http://33bits.org http://33bits.org), which I see someone else has already linked to :-)

joshuaxls 18y ago

I think the idea of women going to bars for NSA relations is a bit degrading. The quality of a bar hookup is very low. I'm speaking anecdotally, but I doubt anyone will disagree: most infidelities happen with someone you know fairly well. This site will do much better with women than AFF for two reasons: 1: the front page isn't covered with scantily clad, beautiful women. yes, there's an image of a girl going down on a guy, but the guy has a very nice body. 2: there's an assumption that the men are married and thus have careers, friends, family, etc. - i.e. they aren't weirdos.

michaelkeenan 18y ago

I've met a few polyamorous girls who sought NSA relations, and a frequent complaint is that finding a partner is easy, but finding a quality partner is difficult, both on the internet and in bars. It's like what Joel Spolsky wrote about job seekers mostly being poor quality, because high quality people are already taken. This is mostly in England (and not London, where I hear the situation is better), so maybe it's easier in a polyamorous hub like San Francisco.