3 ms·

Stigma may exist for the young kids, but on-line dating stigma doesn't exist for older people. I have several older divorced and single friends (mostly women)

Stigma may exist for the young kids, but on-line dating stigma doesn't exist for older people. I have several older divorced and single friends (mostly women) and they date on-line for one main reason: it's just too damn hard to have an active social life while you're raising kids. I got married before the whole internet dating took off, but the 90s did have "date-lines." It was basically an voicemail system. However, any dating-for-dating's sake does underplay the best way to meet compatible partners: meeting them while you're doing something you really enjoy. I met my spouse in a Jazz singing class. I've always thought meeting people based on social skills (in person) or good photography (on-line) is fine, but I think it's inefficient because you're selecting the database on the least relevant criteria.

rayiner 14y ago
Meeting on-line doesn't have to be just about photography, it can also be based on shared interest. My wife and I were on the same law forum and exchanged messages (not romantic, more like "you're so wrong about x, y, z") a few times before we met in real life in a related context (she was at my law school interviewing for admission). Several other marriages and engagements came out of the same batch of people on the same site, from city group meet-ups. Alcohol + a group of people comfortable with each other because they at least vaguely know each other online + a group of people with shared interests is a great way to spark relationships. I don't think online dating is perfect as it's currently structured, but it has a lot of potential. I'd picture something like a dating site where you couldn't search for people ad-hoc, but which interest-specific discussion forums could link into. You'd create a profile, but only be found by people who reached out through some interest-specific site. This serves two purposes: it prevents women from getting spammed as easily, and it provides some context (posting history) for them to evaluate.

rayiner 14y ago

Meeting on-line doesn't have to be just about photography, it can also be based on shared interest. My wife and I were on the same law forum and exchanged messages (not romantic, more like "you're so wrong about x, y, z") a few times before we met in real life in a related context (she was at my law school interviewing for admission). Several other marriages and engagements came out of the same batch of people on the same site, from city group meet-ups. Alcohol + a group of people comfortable with each other because they at least vaguely know each other online + a group of people with shared interests is a great way to spark relationships. I don't think online dating is perfect as it's currently structured, but it has a lot of potential. I'd picture something like a dating site where you couldn't search for people ad-hoc, but which interest-specific discussion forums could link into. You'd create a profile, but only be found by people who reached out through some interest-specific site. This serves two purposes: it prevents women from getting spammed as easily, and it provides some context (posting history) for them to evaluate.