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My 25+ year marriage is actually the product of "predestined love" and I think most people could end up with a love like that. The reality is that you have to

by smoyer 14y ago

My 25+ year marriage is actually the product of "predestined love" and I think most people could end up with a love like that. The reality is that you have to keep your eyes open if you want to notice the person that's right for you ... and you have to meet enough people to find them. EDIT: As I thought a bit more about it, I also realized that you have to have some criteria for what you're looking for in a partner too. How will you know if you've found them? If all you can come up with is "a body like a swimsuit model", you deserve what you get. Looks might be one criteria, but maybe you'd be better off picking some other attributes to go with it? And perhaps weighting things like interests, life-goals, etc a bit higher. I'd also recommend understanding your Myers-Briggs type and the types that are compatible (this is not your sign). Then learn the attributes that make up your compatible types and try to spot them in public.

jeremyarussell 14y ago
The issue I have with the soul mate theory is that people can and do change when they want to, when that happens your "soul mate" would also change, basically nullifying the entire concept. Edit: I should say though I completely agree (about everything except the predestined part), people need to keep an eye out and know what they want, and not just physical qualities.
groby_b 14y ago
It's not "predestined love" alone - it's also willingness to actually work on that relationship. I've got 23 years so far, and it's been awesome. But it required talking about things, occasionally compromising, being willing to listen, and paying attention to what's going on. And sometimes sticking it out, even when you thought "This really isn't fun right now". And congrats on 25+ years - you're obviously doing it right :)
safrolic 14y ago
Myers Briggs: http://www.skepdic.com/myersb http://www.skepdic.com/myersb
illuminate 14y ago
"I'd also recommend understanding your Myers-Briggs type and the types that are compatible (this is not your sign)" You might as well recommend dowsing to find available mates.

by smoyer 14y ago

jeremyarussell 14y ago

The issue I have with the soul mate theory is that people can and do change when they want to, when that happens your "soul mate" would also change, basically nullifying the entire concept. Edit: I should say though I completely agree (about everything except the predestined part), people need to keep an eye out and know what they want, and not just physical qualities.

groby_b 14y ago

It's not "predestined love" alone - it's also willingness to actually work on that relationship. I've got 23 years so far, and it's been awesome. But it required talking about things, occasionally compromising, being willing to listen, and paying attention to what's going on. And sometimes sticking it out, even when you thought "This really isn't fun right now". And congrats on 25+ years - you're obviously doing it right :)

safrolic 14y ago

Myers Briggs: http://www.skepdic.com/myersb http://www.skepdic.com/myersb

illuminate 14y ago

"I'd also recommend understanding your Myers-Briggs type and the types that are compatible (this is not your sign)" You might as well recommend dowsing to find available mates.